Begin Again

“Do you seduce all the girls you meet with a comfy bed, alcohol, and a guitar?” she was trying to be flippant, to show him how irritated she was with the whole situation.

He was too care-free to notice. “Only the pretty brunettes who tell me it’s their birthday.”

Ashley rolled her eyes for the millionth time. Niall had that effect on her. “You’re ridiculous,” she muttered as she pulled her t-shirt back on over her head. Once she had her things, she turned back around to face the bottle-blonde who was now sitting up in bed, his acoustic guitar back on his lap as he strummed out a few chords.

“I have to go,” she told him awkwardly. She didn’t want to be another one night stand, but she also knew this couldn’t happen.

He nodded. “‘s all right, Ash. Dinner with the folks?”

She nodded. “Yeah, birthday dinner. They came in for the weekend to see me. I’ll... see you later?” She was struggling to find the words, because she wasn’t entirely sure what the words were in this case. Would she see him later? Doubtful. She hadn’t seen him in so long, and then they were here, and none of it made any sense.

He didn’t say anything, just kept strumming his guitar, so she nodded and turned on her heel to leave. Just as she got to his door, he was stopping her. “Your number?” he asked when she turned around. “Or I’ll give you mine and you can call me so I can buy you a birthday dinner and we can catch up.”

She didn’t want to give it to him. She was okay with not seeing him ever again once she stepped out of his flat. But she knew how persistent Niall was, and she knew he’d get his way, so she rattled off her number and watched as he punched the numbers into his mobile. When he promised to call her tomorrow, she nodded and then walked out.

***

She couldn’t believe she had slept with Niall Horan, of all fucking people.

The thought kept running through her mind as she headed back to her own flat. Her parents would be there later that night, and then they’d all go out to dinner. She was going to go home for the weekend, back to Mullingar to see her family, but then things came up at work and she couldn’t make it. So instead, her parents were coming to her.

Despite how excited she was to see her family, she couldn’t get past the fact that she had just spent the night with Niall fucking Horan. Niall Horan, who had tormented her when they were younger. Niall Horan who had lived next door to her for years and had essentially grown up with her. Niall Horan, the boy she had an annoying crush on that wouldn’t go away, despite the lengths she had gone to to try and make it do so.

It wasn’t like she had planned meeting him at the pub last night, though. She had gone out with a few friends to celebrate her birthday, and of all the pubs in all of London, she and Niall ended up at the same one.

”Ashley!” he greeted her after a round of shots had shown up in front of her and her mates without them knowing who they were from. “What are you doin’ here?”

She just gawked at him. What was she doing there? What the bloody hell was he doing there? “Niall?” she questioned, slightly drunk already. “Why did you buy us shots?”

Her friends laughed at her, exclaiming you never looked gift drinks in the mouth, which even her drunken mind knew didn’t make any sense. But then it was like no time had passed between her and the blonde she hadn’t seen in so long, and then he was drinking with her and her mates. They were all pounding back shots and pint after pint, and before she knew it they were all pissed.

Her friends tried to get her to go home with them, but she didn’t want to leave Niall. Even Drunk Ashley knew she couldn’t pass up the chance to catch up with the boy from her childhood. Or maybe she just didn’t want to see him leave, but regardless, the two of them piled into a car and headed back to Niall’s flat.

“I live in London now,” he stated, even though that much was obvious.

“Me too!” Ashley exclaimed happily. “Imagine that! The two kids from Mullingar are all grown up.”

When they got back to Niall’s building, they stumbled out of the car and inside. The lift took them up to his floor, and Niall supported Ashley as they walked down the hall towards his door.

Once they were inside, Niall immediately took her to his bedroom and set her on the bed. She was drunk, clearly, but she wasn’t blackout pissed or so drunk she didn’t know what she was doing. She was just happy drunk. Or so she convinced herself.

“Mmm, your bed’s so comfy,” she mumbled as she laid down, stretching out on the plush material. “I want to sleep here forever.”

Niall chuckled and fell down onto the bed beside her, making her body jump slightly from the impact. She couldn’t help but laugh with him, and soon they were almost in hysterics. Whether it was due to the situation or the fact that they were both a bit drunk, neither knew.

“Can’t believe I ran into ya tonigh’, Ash. ‘s been awhile, yeah?”

She nodded her head carefully. The room was already spinning just a bit, but it wasn’t enough to make her sick. It just... was. “I can’t believe I’m on your bed,” she mumbled, rubbing her suddenly very tired eyes. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Remember when we were younger?” he asked, pulling her back. She nodded, even though that was kind of a vague question. “I miss that.”

She didn’t know what he meant, and maybe Niall wasn’t sure what he meant either. Maybe they were both just a bit too drunk. Before Drunk Ashley could dissect the situation at hand, Niall was leaning over her. His beer-soaked breath was almost overpowering, but she could still smell his cologne, which made it all okay. “Remember when I kissed you?”

And there it was. Drunk Ashley wasn’t thinking about it, but Sober Ashley couldn’t forget it and was wondering when the topic would come up. She nodded gently. “Couldn’t forget it.”

“Ashley?”

She was focused on his lips. They were so close, all she had to do was lift her head a little and they’d be kissing again, much like they had years prior. “Hmm?”

His blue eyes found hers and he grinned his Niall grin. “I’m goin’ ta kiss ya now.”

She just nodded, as if she knew that was the next step.

Niall’s lips were on hers, and she was pulled back to years ago when they first kissed, except this time was less awkward, less hurried. They weren’t two sixteen year olds who wanted their first kisses, they were both nineteen and drunk. Nineteen and drunk and they didn’t know what they were doing. Except they did, of course they did. Drunk Ashley couldn’t focus, but Sober Ashley knew that Niall Horan was hovering over top of her, kissing her like his life depended on it, and it really didn’t matter what either Ashley said because she wasn’t going to push him away. Not in a million years.

***

She tried to focus on dinner with her parents. She tried to thoroughly enjoy the red velvet cake they bought her and the iPad she received as a gift. She tried to act excited about turning another year older, but she couldn’t get her mind off of the stupid bottle-blonde Irishman that was currently occupying every single one of her spare thoughts.

Ashley’s parents seemed oblivious, though, which she was grateful for. After dinner and after they came back to her flat to make sure everything was in order, they decided to head back to Ashley’s grandmother’s house. She lived outside of London and that was where her parents stayed when they came to visit. With a kiss and a promise to call them tomorrow so they could get brunch, as Ashley told them she was going out with some friends that night, her parents headed out.

Before her parents even got out the door, Ashley was pulling her phone out. She had several text messages, all from an unknown number that she was positive was Niall, along with a missed phone call from her flatmate Sonya and a few text messages from a handful of other friends wishing her a happy birthday. She ignored all the messages except Niall’s, which she opened immediately.

Think you left your jacket here love.

Oh, it’s Niall.

Happy Birthday, by the way.

Ashhhhhhhhleyyyyyyyyyyy. Ignoring me?

I’m going to call you until you answer then.

Before she could even finish reading the last message, her phone started vibrating in her hand and Niall’s number appeared. She groaned and rolled her eyes, but slid her thumb across the screen and answered. “You’re a twat, you know that?”

He just laughed. “Thought ya were ignorin’ me!”

“I was at dinner with my parents, you wanker.”

He was quiet, and she wanted to take it back. She didn’t hate Niall, not really. She hated herself. She hated that she had harbored a stupid crush on him for so many years and then finally fell into his bed like it was nothing last night. She really hated herself for that. “‘m sorry,” she mumbled when he didn’t say anything.

“‘s fine, love. Let’s go get a pint! Properly celebrate your birthday, yeah?”

She wanted to turn him down. She didn’t want to go out with him again. She wanted to forget Niall Horan existed, let alone that they were living in the same area once again. Ashley was determined not to fall back into the same trap she had when she was younger.

“Okay,” she said, her voice quiet. Obviously she wasn’t listening to her inner-self. Obviously she wasn’t going to say no to Niall. Obviously.