If You Can't Hang, Then There's the Door

I heard the door creak open, bringing me out of my awful sleep. I felt a rough fabric beneath my skin and shuddered at the pain in my neck from sleeping on it wrong. Had I fallen asleep on the floor?

"Oh my god Scar are you ok ?!" I heard a panicked Ashley from the doorway shuffle across the apartment and by my side in an instant.

"Uhm... That's a loaded question." I smiled weakly as she helped me off the rough carpet and on to my feet. How did she even get in? Only me and kellin had keys to our apartment.

"You don't look so good scar, your awfully pale" Ashley placed her hand on my forehead. Her warmth brought me comfort that my cold skin wasn't giving me.

I felt the burning acid sensation rise in my throat. I ran out of Ashley's warm grasp and to the nearest place I could empty my stomach. Unfortunately it was my kitchen sink. I felt absolutely awful, not only from my morning sickness but from throwing up in my KITCHEN, it just felt so wrong.

"Oh my god Scar!" Ashley ran and pulled my hair back and had a warm wash cloth on my head in seconds.

"Ash.. How?" I asked after wiping my mouth and still feeling nauseous, she cut me off.

"Jesse told me I should check up on you. He had Kellins key to the apartment." I nodded and walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth, Ashley patiently waiting for me in the living room.

"W-w-we had a fight" I choked back tears as Ashley wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh Scarlett what happened? Kellin hasn't spoken to Jesse or even Justin about it. We're all worried about you two" she held me as I cried Into her shoulder.

I couldn't bring myself to tell her, I just didn't know if I should. Would kellin be upset I told anyone? Is it my place to tell anyone ? Maybe he didn't want anyone to know yet? Maybe I didn't want anyone to know yet? I didn't want to upset him further, or make things worse by telling anyone. we needed to talk. We needed to sort our problems out before we brought anyone else into it. Announcing a pregnancy is a decision me and kellin should make together... As a couple, in a happy place, but it doesn't feel like he even wants this baby.

"I rather not talk about it ash... It's hard to explain." I whispered sitting onto my bed.

"You can tell me anything Scar, your like family to me, and I don't like seeing you upset. " She sat next to me and placed her hand on my knee. I leaned my head on her shoulder. My thoughts were racing, and so was my heart.

"I just... Don't know how to explain it ash, I'm sorry" I felt hot tears run down my face again and Ashley giggled.

"Your such a silly girl Scar, you have no reason to apologize to me. I understand, you want to fix things with kellin on your own. How about we go out and try to take your mind off everything for a bit?" She asked me with a warm smile on her face, her smile was contagious. I couldn't help but wipe my tears and give her one in return. However I also couldn't help but wonder what kellin was feeling, what he was doing.

"Yea ash. That sounds good" she hopped off the bed and pulled me up as she did so.

"How about... We go out to lunch? Then we can get our nails done or something ?" I smiled and took her hand. Not bothering to change from the clothes I Had on from yesterday. Ashley didn't even comment on my bummy style, I'm sure she understood why.

Ashley had me smiling from ear to ear by the end of the day. We had went out to one of my favorite local delis, and got my favorite sandwich a moofalatta ... Which I had been conveniently craving. Then she treated me to a pedicure, my toes were now painted a brilliant shade of bright purple. Ashely drove us back to the apartment, and upon our arrival. Things seemed off. Justin and Jesse were outside each having a cigarette, Ashley frowned at the sight, she never liked the fact the Jesse smoked.

"Scar!" Justin smiled and gave me a hug. I tried to stay away from their smoke without being obvious about it.

"Hey baby" Jesse opened his arms for Ashley and she hugged him closely. I couldn't help but watch in sadness. Where was kellin? How long would he be running away? I told him to leave, but I had also told him to come back. It had been a little over twenty four hours since we've spoken. I know that's not long, but my heart ached for my best friend, the love we've had for so long and the new life we had created inside me.

"I-I'm gonna go inside guys, I'm really tired" lie. I just wanted to be alone. i was really getting tired of this nervous stuttering.

I walked up to the apartment leaving behind the laughing from the boys and Ashley outside. I lightly jiggled the lock to get inside. To my surprise the shower was running in Kellins room. He had come back. My heart fluttered a little at this realization, but also pained in a way I didn't understand. We were no doubtedly going to talk. Things weren't just going to magically be ok. Why was I so afraid ? I must have been inside my own head for quite sometime, because kellin snapped me out of my thoughts by sitting next to me at our bar on the stool to my right. He didn't say a word. He just placed his hand on the small of my back, making my breath catch in my throat and for me to inhale sharply. I stiffened under his touch. Nervous about what was coming next.

"Scarlett" he whispered worriedly, he never calls me by my full name unless he's being serious. I looked up to him, and was shocked at what I saw. His eyes were blood shot and his face was red. He wore nothing put a pair of baller shorts and a white V neck, he looked like a wreak. I didn't answer his wavering searching eyes, My own just swelled with tears as he scanned my face, searching for something, but what?

"I'm so unbelievably sorry Scarlett. I was out of line. You didn't deserve to be talked to that way, it was completely uncalled for and I'm a complete asshole for how I treated you." He paused to kiss a few stray tears from my cheeks. He then placed his hand on my stomach and smiled.

"Nothing about this is a mistake Scar, I love you, more than anything. I may not be ready, and it may be to soon for me to be a dad, but ill be by your side every step of the way and ill try to be as ready as i can. If you want me to go to the store for one of your cravings at four in the morning, ill be there. you start growing A baby bump, ill be growing one right along side you if thats what you want. I'm sorry I blamed this on you, it was childish of me and I don't deserve your forgiveness. You were just as shocked as I was, I had no right to deny any hand in this." He let tears fall from his eyes as he took a deep breath. I smiled slightly as he nervously laughed through his crocodile tears.

"What I'm trying to say is... We're creating something beautiful. A product of our love. Something to call our own, and I'm ready to take this journey with you, my best friend, My whole heart... My Scarlett blood running through my veins, your my everything, and now you'll BOTH be my everything." He lifted my shirt slightly and ran his fingers over my bare stomach. Then he leaned down and kissed it. He brought his face back up to mine, still crying with even more bloodshot eyes than before.

I was speechless, I expected another fight or a conversation where we talked each other in circles. I worried for nothing, kellin just needed time to wrap his mind around everything. I was silly to think he wouldn't want anything to do with this child, not after going through what we both went through with our own family's.

"Kellin, I-I don-" he cut me off by crashing his lips to mine hungrily. He put every ounce of his being into my lips. Tears flowed from both our eyes, as passion exploded in our bodies for each other. I pulled us apart to gasp for air and wipe my tears. Kellin continued to cry silently with a smile on his face. What could he be feeling?

"Kellin... It's okay, we both had no idea. As long as were together, I know we'll be ok." He laughed loudly and wiped his tears as I quoted our song, I even giggled to myself.

"I promise Scar, ill never be that stupid again. You don't have to forgive me right now, but I'm not going anywhere" I smiled and hugged him causing him to stand and embrace me, he held me close to his chest and stroked my hair.

I felt the nausea build in my body once again, morning sickness may as well be called 'anytime' sickness. I broke away from kellin and ran to the kitchen sink for the second time today. I slammed my fist into the cabinet in anger causing Kellin to rub my shoulders and hum into my ear.

"It's ok baby. It's ok" he rubbed my back as I leaned over the sink wiping my face with a paper towel in my free hand.

"I'm just exhausted Kellin." I whispered as he placed his chin on my shoulder from behind me and kissed my cheek.

"I know darling. Lets get you to bed" he picked me up and carried me to his room.

He laid me on the bed and crawled in beside me, I felt slightly dizzy from the nausea.

"Hey Kell?" I whispered, he yawned and kissed my neck.

"Yea baby?" He whispered back.

"When should we tell the rest of the family there's going to be a new edition ?" I felt him smile into my skin and I giggled at his light touch.

"As soon as possible, wouldn't you agree?" He asked cutely.

"Maybe tomorrow?" I asked with hope.

"Sounds perfect, I love you" he kissed my shoulder and cuddled Into the crook of my neck.

"I love you too." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

I smiled at the thought of telling our friends, and going through this adventure with kellin. But my mind always reminded me how dangerous this pregnancy was going to be, but I knew I'd have to do everything in my power to protect my child.... OUR child.