If You Can't Hang, Then There's the Door

Scars point of view

I was watching adventure time intently with Ashley in mine and kellins hotel room, we only had another week left here before we flew home. I was having a great day with Ashley until I suddenly felt sharp pains in my chest. I took deep breaths trying not to panic, but I couldn't make it stop on my own. No matter how hard I tried.

"Ash?" I questioned my best friend who was sitting on the couch watching cartoons with me.

"Yea Scar?" She adverted her eyes from the tv and stared at me. Her face twisted in concern as she saw my facial expression.

"I-I t-think I need to go to t-the hospital" I cried and gripped my chest. Her eyes grew to the size of saucers.

Ashley immediately grabbed her cell phone i assumed to called 911. I tried to steady my breathing and think about keeping my baby safe. I wasn't having an attack, I wasn't having trouble breathing. This was something I couldn't calm down and stop on my own. I had a shooting pain in my heart and its intensity increased with every beat. I was the calmest I've ever been in this situation, I took deep breaths and tried not to pass out.

"They'll be here any minute scar it's ok!" Ashley said shakily, she tried to be calm and not scare me. But she was obviously frightened. So was I.

Within minutes their was loud knocking on the door, Ashley immediately flung it open. Two Paramedics rushed in coming straight over to me, and immediately bombarded me with questions as they took my pulse.

"Ma'am please describe your pain to us" the man asked calmly. I took a deep breath.

"I feel a splitting pain throughout my chest every time my heart beats and when I breath in to long it gets worse, please help, I don't want anything to happen to my baby!" I was crying now and the men instantly hooked me up to a portable heart monitor they had.

"Just take deep breaths ma'am" I tried to steady my breathing, but I was too shaky from crying. I tried to ignore the rapid beeps coming from the machine next to me.

"Just lay down, we're going to help you by placing this mask on you ok?" My eyes got wide as they brought a clear mask with a weird bubble coming out the side out and brought it to my face. They placed it over my mouth gently and the second man started squeezing the bubble on the mask and I felt myself calm down as I let the mask lead my breathing.

"Kellin! You need to come back to the hotel! NOW!" I heard Ashley plead desperately into her phone. She had tears running down her face, her eyes never left the scene of me and the Paramedics.

"Ok miss, your breathing seems to be normal again and so does your heartbeat. Everything will be ok. I'm going to remove the mask and I want you to keep the same breathing pace. Ok?" The man helping me breath was calm and collected as he spoke to me. I nodded my head and he removed the mask.

I felt better and the pain had disappeared. It was a strange feeling, it all happened so fast, what caused this pain in the first place?! My mind was racing, I knew if I didn't distract myself from these thoughts soon that I'd just give myself a panic attack.

"You were having an intense murmur, but it's fine now." The man explained to me writing in a chart.

"Why would this just randomly happen!?" I asked shocked. I was going to panic and I couldn't stop myself, the anxiety rushed over me like a wave. Instantly I felt... Well indescribable- I was heavy yet weightless at the same time, my body tingled with fear and i was absolutely scared out of my mind.

"SCAR? SCAR? Are you ok?!" A heard a desperate Kellin run through the door followed by another set of feet. His eyes stared into mine, his were red, puffy, tears streaming down his face and he was as pale as a ghost.

"Sir calm down, she is fine." Kellins eyes darted from the Paramedic and back to me.

"What happened?" Kellin directed to me as I saw a worried Vic come to kellins side.

"I don't know! We were just watching tv and I got a pain in my chest..." I started to cry once again, the paramedic stood up and walked towards Kellin.

"Well, we think it was her murmur reacting to really bad heartburn. We're glad you called because if she had an anxiety attack she may have hurt the baby, but everything's fine. If this ever happens again- have her breathe into a paper back and give her lots of water. Try avoiding foods that may upset you as well." The paramedics started packing their things to leave. Kellin instantly took me in his arms and rocked me back and forth as I cried.

The medics words flooded my mind. SHE could have hurt the baby . This was MY fault.

"I'm gonna be sick" I ran out of the room and to the bathroom, emptying my stomach into the toilet. My throat burned and I was crying.

"Scar?" I hear Kellin come into the bathroom and sit next to me on the cold tiles. His hand rubbing my back gently,

"D-did you h-h-hear what he said?" I whimpered and wiped my mouth.

"Baby... It's not like that, and you know it" his voice was soft, and his hand on my back was warm. He knew exactly what I was referring to.

"No Kellin... I could have hurt our baby, ME, it would have been MY fault" I said angrily, his eyes were filled with Hurt as I whipped around to look at him.

"No scar! I know you would NEVER intentionally hurt our child. You can't control your heart and I know that Scar! Your the strongest woman I know! You've done nothing but show amazing control over your anxiety these past few weeks. I admire you for being able to keep yourself together every day! I wouldn't be able to do what your doing, the worry I feel everyday for you NOW kills me every second! I couldn't imagine the enormous amount of stress your just ignoring every day for the safety of our child. Your absolutely amazing Scarlett and don't EVER doubt that!" I cried and collapsed into kellin's chest. I wouldn't be able to do this without him, and I had no idea he was so scared. I had to be stronger than this. For him, for me, for all of us. I shook all the worry away and stopped my mind from dwelling on those awful words the paramedic had said.

"I love you Kellin, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" I drenched kellins shirt within minutes.

"Stop it, you have no reason to apologize, and were going to the doctor as soon as possible." He shuffled around for his cell phone and he dialed a number quickly. I heard him on the phone with the doctor we had set up.

"Come on baby, were going to check on the baby right now" he helped me up as I wiped my tears.

"Oh my god scar are you ok?" Vic embrace me the second me and Kellin came out of the room.

"N-n-no I'm not I'm ... Tired Vic" I couldn't lie to him. I don't think anyone could. Vic just had those eyes and that way with people.

"It'll be ok Scar, and Kellin I'm here whenever you guys need me! That will never change" Vic smiled and hugged Kellin briefly as well.

"Thanks Vic." Kellin said sincerely and patted Vic's back in return.

"We'll call you both the second were done at the doctors" I said to Ashley who was still in shock.

"O-ok" she stuttered as we left the apartment.

I stared out the window . I was exhausted physically, but mentally I was alert and my mind was set on seeing my baby on that ultrasound, safe and unharmed. The doctors office was close, the cab parked outside after a short five minute drive.

"Come on baby" Kellin held his hand out to me, I grabbed it gently and followed him into the suite. He went up to receptionist and immediately gave her our names. We were walked into a room instantly.

I kept biting my lip and playing with kellins hand in mine as I sat up on the hard cold bed I was to be examined on. He kept giving me reassuring smiles, but I wouldn't be combined until I heard it straight from the doctors mouth. I shot Kellin a worried look as the door opened and the kind blonde haired doctor who saw me when we arrived here two weeks ago entered and gave me a worried smile herself.

"Mr. Quinn, mrs. Porter, lets take a look shall we?" She cut straight to the chase, she could since how overwhelmed and worried I was just by glancing at me. I was thankful for that.

We nodded silently and laid down in the bed. I lifted my shirt up, doctor Victoria squeezed the ice cold jelly onto my tummy. I shivered as she spread it around with the ultrasound sensor. My hand had never left kellin's, and I was squeezing it tightly as we both watched the screen like we were at a movie theater. Not wanting to miss a thing.

"Well, everything seems good and healthy guys, see? that noise you hear is the babies heartbeat, so no more worrying. now tell me about what happened." Kellin looked to me then the doctor, I began to tell her about what had happened and how I had felt.

She listened intently and for the first time I didn't feel like a doctor was judging my every emotion and I wasn't scared to just let it all finally come out.

"Scarlett, I want you to follow this chart for me.." Victoria handed me a calendar like piece of paper she had just been writing on moments before.

"What's this doctor?" Kellin asked as we both looked over it intently.

"It's a diet plan that I think will help ease the stress on your heart throughout out the pregnancy, I also wrote down some daily exercises I want you to start Doing.. They will help strengthen your heart. Last and probably most importantly theirs a few breathing exercises and other techniques for calming your nerves and easing anxiety. I've had patients like you before and this seemed to do wonders for them" she smiled warmly and as I read over the chart it made my heart flutter with hope. The list wasn't difficult and I was more then willing to do whatever it takes to save my baby and myself from danger.

"Thank you, thank you so much Victoria!" I hugged her, it look her off guard but she hugged me back and Kellin told me later that she was blushing.

"I want you to call me and let me know how the plans working, even if your not in this state I want to help you." Kellin gave her a toothy grin and shook her hand.

"Seriously we can't thank you enough, we will certainly call you!" Kellin spoke to her happily as she walked us out of her office.

"Best of luck to you two! Your one of the cutest couples I've ever had the pleasure if working with! Can't wait to hear from you both!" She waved goodbye and we left the office behind.

I rubbed my stomach and smiled down at it wildly. Kellin placed his hand over mine and kissed my neck from behind as we stood on the sidewalk waiting for the can to pick us up.

"See baby everything perfectly fine, and soon you'll be feeling a lot better" he kissed my cheek and I grew hot under his lips with an intense blush.

"I'm just being careful Kellin..." I whispered and he 'shhhhh-ed' me.

"I know baby, I know, I'm here every step of the way. We're starting this chart tomorrow" he waved the chart in my face and I smiled.

"Your doing it with me" he didn't even give me a single complaint or single look of disappointment. He just kissed me tenderly on the lips and spoke happily.

"Anything for you Scar, I can't wait to start" in that moment I knew how truly committed Kellin was to us.

"I love you Kellin" I smiled up to him as our cab pulled up to the curb.

Kellin opened the door for me as I climbed in first. He sat down closing the door and pulling me closely into his side.

"I love you too, Scarlett" he rested his forehead against mine. I felt myself getting lost in his beautiful blue eyes as they looked into mine with un wavering love.

"Please stay with me the rest of the day? I won't be able to stop worrying the rest of the day if you go back to the studio" Kellin gave me a warm smile.

"Of course ill stay, your crazy to think I'd leave you alone after what happened today, I was only recording with Vic today and we got it finished, so no worries baby" he ran his finger trough my hair as the cab stopped at our hotel.

We spent the rest of the night with Vic and Ashley. Kellin, and them kept me distracted with some amazing conversation and great company. The incident from early didn't cross my mind once as we all say around playing monopoly and operation. Vic and Ashley left when I started to yawn and doze off in kellin's arms watching Disney movies. I gave then both hugs goodbye and thanked them for keeping us company.

"Bedtime?" I raised my eyebrows to Kellin and he spoke.

"Please?" I kissed the tip of his nose and hugged him. As we hugged he suddenly picked me up bridal style and carried me to bed.

I fell asleep against his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair singing me a song I've never heard before.

"Oh my stomachs tied in knots.." I heard Kellin sing gently into my ear as I drifted fully into Unconsciousness.

I needed to remind him to sing that song to me again some time, I thought as I dreamed of our future. I saw a pair of beautiful big eyes in my dream, they reminded me of kellins, but they were different... They also reminded me of mine. I could stare at them forever, they made me feel stronger, I felt safe and I felt invincible whenever I saw them. They were my reason to fight.