If You Can't Hang, Then There's the Door

Yesterday went by fast, me and the guys all got my boxes loaded onto a moving truck that would have all our stuff at the apartment by the end of the week, we all went bowling then went to bed. Me and Kellin however couldn't sleep. We never slept the days before a flight. Well at least I didn't, because I was terrified and wanted to sleep through then ENTIRE experience. We would be heading to the airport in just a few hours, I was racked with stress and anxiety I loathed planes, they were horrifying, big, and metal, How they managed to be so massive and fly through the sky without crashing everyday was a pure mystery to me, because I think they are extremely unsafe and I would rather travel ANY OTHER way.

"Scar? Where are your pills? You need to take one" Kellin stated coming out of the bathroom.

"No Kellin, please don't make me take one" I pleaded as he sighed at me. I hated those pills I was prescribed, I was supposed to take them when I felt like this, but I always refused to take them unless I was having an outrageous attack. Those xanex knocked me out like a light. I would slur only 15 minutes after taking them and blackout, forgetting everything. that was the point of those pills I hated them, and Kellin knew it.

"Look, If you aren't calmer by the time we get on the plane, Im making you take one, Its for your own good Scar, I know how much you hate them but it hurts seeing you stress like this, and its not good for your heart" He pleaded giving me his worried stare and hugging me leading me to the bed so i could get just a couple hours of sleep before we took off for the airport. He rubbed my back and sang me "if im James dean than your Audrey Hepburn" I felt my eyes get heavy and my heart steady from his hand on my back, his warmth made me feel safe.

"Scar, Scaaaar" I felt his breath on my ear as he soothed me out of my sleep with his voice and his hands on my shoulders shaking me lightly.

"Wake up sunshine its time to go to the airport" He said happily as I sat up and faced him.

"Ok I can do this" I said taking in a deep breath.

"Well I found MY favorite hoodie, that is also YOUR favorite, and a pair of jeans that will fit you." He handed my the hoodie we both loved so much, It wasn't that special in 'looks' It was just something we held close to our hearts, It was the one article of clothing we always switched off on, whenever I would go to Kellin upset and crying, it was the first thing he gave me. When he was trying to deal with his own pain, it was the first thing he always went for. This hoodie was just a plain heather gray, cotton, and softer then ever before, it was our worry hoodie. All your worries washed away with the softness of this hoodie.

I gladly took the clothing and went to the bathroom because I needed to wash up before putting them on, I took a quick 10 minutes shower and slipped into Kellin's dark blue, tighter than all hell jeans, no way HE fits in these. They were long on me so I rolled the ends up. Then I slipped on the hoodie I missed so much. It was only slightly loose on me, I looked cute and presentable. I flipped the hood over my head and pulled my hair out of it. Smiled at myself in the mirror and met Kellin in the room.

"Ready to go cutiepie?" He questioned and held his arm out for me with a carry on in his hand. I had nothing to take on the plane with me except my phone. I cant believe we honestly packed everything away, even my damn iPod.

"I'm all set" I took his elbow and we sauntered out of the room meeting all the guys by the elevator.

"I'm gonna take the stairs, Ill see you guys in the lobby" I said happily skipping to the stairs. May as well enjoy being alive before I feel like i'm gonna die in the sky.

I beat them down stairs just as their elevator *dinged* Jesse was the first to step out and he smiled at me followed by gabe, jack, and justin. I smiled at them all, I'm guessing Kellin explained why i hated elevators to them, because Usually I get a lot of questions about it. I eyed Kellin and he confirmed my suspicion with his nod and 'duh' look in his eyes,

When we got outside there was a man putting Kellins car onto a rig to transport it to Michigan. They exchanged numbers and information before Kellin gave the man a spare key, I could never trust someone with my car like that. Especially a new car.

"Your not worried about that?" I said pointing to the man loading Kellins car as he shrugged.

"Its insured, so not really" He laughed me off and climbed into the cab next to me and Justin.

"So stoked to have our own apartments, no offense guys but it got old sharing rooms with all of you" Gabe said excitedly causing everyone to chatter about the big move. I had my hands in my lap I was playing with my fingers nervously as we approached the huge airport. We exited the cab, I felt Kellin's eyes on me the entire time.

The second We entered where baggage claim was to be done my heart sank, I felt the terror rising inside me, I was going to flip out if I didn't calm myself soon. I stopped and kind of froze standing away from the boys as they all had their bags weighed. Kellin watched me carefully as we rode the escalators up to the terminals. we walked by heard's of people...yes heard's, this airport was massive and I'm surprised we weren't getting lost in the sea of people. I felt my anxiety rise, all the boys looked so calm, including Kellin, he used to be mildly scared of planes. I guess all the flying hes done recently cured him of that fear.

We found out gate and started walking through security, I took my shoes off like all the boys did and placed my cell phone in the bin. I got to the man with the wand and it buzzed near my hips. I forgot about those.

"Ma'am do you have a belt on?" The man questioned all the boys stopped and stared at me, Kellin had yet to go through and he was snickering behind me, he knew this would mildly embarrass me.

"N-n-no I don't, I have these" I lifted up my hoodie to reveal two bar hip piercings one on each side.

"Oh your fine to pass ma'am" the security guard stuttered. awesome.

"Well, who would have thought cute little Scarlett had those?" Justin teased as Kellin made it through security.

"She has a Tattoo too" Kellin stated making everyone raise their eyebrows wondering where it was.

"Damnit Kellin!" I said trudging behind him.

"you had your rebel stage Scar, Remember? I was there." He snickered lightly brushing his fingertips over where my tattoo was. I shivered. remembering him holding my hand as he watched me get it. After getting some more work on his arm of course.

"Shut up" I blushed, he always knew how to make me blush.

My fear hadn't completely subsided as we waited to board our plane, It rose and rose until I felt my heart in my throat as I watched a plane take off, I could only imagine horrible things, I hid my face in the cuffs of OUR hoodie, I felt my breathing become shorter. Then I felt Kellin's hand on my neck rubbing it.

"Scar, i have your pills, if you take one, the flight will be much easier on you, Ill keep you awake if you want" He whispered his hair brushing my cheeks ad he leaned towards me his forehead on mine, i could see his lips moving as he spoke to me and smiled, he was sitting across from me.

I nodded my head as he passed me my little blue pill that I dreaded taking. He handed me a bottle of water he just bought a few minutes ago and I took the pill quickly, it always had a rotten taste on my throat. It made me make a less than attractive face as I squinted my eyes. Just as i consumed my pill the attendant announced we would be boarding, I shakily walked with my face in my cuffs, and Kellin's arm around my waist guiding me. We walked down the small isles of the plane, me and kellin were sat next to each other, I begged him to take the window seat and he obliged. I sat in the middle and Jesse was in the isle, the rest of the guys were behind us.

I was still awake when the pilot announced we were taking off soon, the worst part of the whole flight, the painful ear popping and shaking of the plane made my stomach churn. I gripped Kellin and Jesses hands for dear life, I'm sure I hurt them but they pretended they didn't notice. I was leaned back with my head against the res and my eyes shut as tight as I could shut them. I tried pretending I wasn't where i actually was. I Felt Kellin kiss meo n the cheek as he usually does making me open my eyes, he mouthed "its over" because our ears had popped and we werent adjusted yet.

I felt myself slur a reply as I rested my head on his shoulder, I didn't remember anything but Kellin resting his head on mine.