My Dearest Salintine
My Dearest Salintine
My Dearest Salintine, 26 of March, 2012
My love, how I wish I were able to gaze upon your untainted beauty just once more. How I wish I could run my fingers through your golden locks again. How I yearn to feel your pink lips upon my own, and to see your joyous smile afterwards. My love, my Salintine, I miss you with all my heart; I wish I could hold you in an endless embrace to feel your warmth against my skin just once more. I want to feel your bright blue eyes gazing into my soul. What is a soul? I wish I could hear your laugh, like a song calling to my person, my spirit, my very soul.
I know not where you are, but I am in a room of white, and a bed of white, and strange clothing I have never seen before, also of white. Why all the white? My love, I wish I knew where you where, at least then this letter would not be written in vain. I am unable to send it to you without an address. But still I write, still I strain to find the words to let you know, my Salintine. I love you with all my heart. Why were we forced apart? I cannot remember, at least not yet. My Salintine, where are you? Where am I? What happened to cause our separation?
Now that I think of it, I do remember just one thing, a car. It was blue. Or gray, one of the two. Why is a car the only thing I can remember? What is its significance? I can also remember seeing red. Oh Salintine, Where are you? I need your loving caress to lift my spirits and ease my pain. I need to be with you. I need you to lift me up out of the darkness.
Up. Why do I feel as if that is important? Is it? What of this car? Were we driving? Or perhaps we were just walking along a road. Oh why do I strain my head to find these answers. I wish you were here to enlighten me on these matters. My Salintine, why red? Why cars? Why up? Why are you not here?
I do not wish to be alone, I want to feel that familiar human presence, and I want to hold you how we once did before... before what? What happened? A ring! I remember a ring. I cannot remember. What was the ring for? We were... in a car? Going somewhere, but where? A ring... it had a jewel. Oh my love, why does my mind fail me in my time of need?
There was a light, and then there wasn’t. What light disappears? A torch maybe? Oh Salintine, why do I not remember why we aren’t together? A car... and a ring, a ring with a jewel; what are they for? And what of the colour red? Was it a red jewel perhaps? I don’t think so, I’m sure it was clear. A car and... An engagement ring! I was going to ask for your hand! My Salintine, Would you take my hand if offered?
The light. It was the head lights of a car as it passed us, a blue car. But what happened then? Oh damn this headache! I cannot remember what happened! Please Salintine, come and lift this veil of fog from my mind, let me hear the subtle sounds of your breath. The rush of air, the sound of life. The pain in my heart... what does it stand for? Heart break?
A blue car and an engagement ring. What of the red, what does it mean? Passion? Love? Oh Salintine, all this white reminds me of a ghost, as does this dreadful silence. I do not wish to be alone, I wish I could wake from this dreadful dream and see you lying there by my side. Why the red?
A blue car... or was it grey? No, definitely blue, but why does grey come to mind when I think of cars? Am I missing something? Maybe we were in a grey car, oh Salintine, come now, enlighten me about my past. Ease my sorrow, pick up my spirits, and let me hear your laugh.
There was a blue car... and a grey car. There were two cars that passed us. No, I only remember one car that passed. What happened to the other? Red... the tail lights of a car. The blue car, it went faster than I on the road. The driver was speeding, Followed by a grey car. It was a race, the two cars were racing and then... what then? I remember Salintine screaming. What was she saying? My name, she screamed my name. The grey car slipped off the road and spun out. Did we collide? Why can I not remember... my mind is so fuzzy Salintine. Why can I not concentrate?
Why the colours blue, grey, and red. The disappearing lights. The ring. How does all this connect? Grey car spinning, headlights turning off. The lights had cracked. Oh Salintine, I crashed into the grey car! We did collide. Now I can remember it. I remember the presence of Death, the fallen Angel, his bony fingers tearing us apart and ending our lives together. One to live on while the other...
Oh Salintine my love, why did these events turn out the way they did? Why are we not together? I wish we were still together, but fate has taken us away from one another. Salintine, my love, I am sorry. I am so sorry for the pain I caused you. Can you forgive me? I never meant this to happen. I should have listened when you said you did not want to go out for dinner that night.
I have reached the end. I am sorry for what happened. I am sorry for your pain
Oh Salintine.
I am sorry...
I am sorry that I died in the crash.
My love, how I wish I were able to gaze upon your untainted beauty just once more. How I wish I could run my fingers through your golden locks again. How I yearn to feel your pink lips upon my own, and to see your joyous smile afterwards. My love, my Salintine, I miss you with all my heart; I wish I could hold you in an endless embrace to feel your warmth against my skin just once more. I want to feel your bright blue eyes gazing into my soul. What is a soul? I wish I could hear your laugh, like a song calling to my person, my spirit, my very soul.
I know not where you are, but I am in a room of white, and a bed of white, and strange clothing I have never seen before, also of white. Why all the white? My love, I wish I knew where you where, at least then this letter would not be written in vain. I am unable to send it to you without an address. But still I write, still I strain to find the words to let you know, my Salintine. I love you with all my heart. Why were we forced apart? I cannot remember, at least not yet. My Salintine, where are you? Where am I? What happened to cause our separation?
Now that I think of it, I do remember just one thing, a car. It was blue. Or gray, one of the two. Why is a car the only thing I can remember? What is its significance? I can also remember seeing red. Oh Salintine, Where are you? I need your loving caress to lift my spirits and ease my pain. I need to be with you. I need you to lift me up out of the darkness.
Up. Why do I feel as if that is important? Is it? What of this car? Were we driving? Or perhaps we were just walking along a road. Oh why do I strain my head to find these answers. I wish you were here to enlighten me on these matters. My Salintine, why red? Why cars? Why up? Why are you not here?
I do not wish to be alone, I want to feel that familiar human presence, and I want to hold you how we once did before... before what? What happened? A ring! I remember a ring. I cannot remember. What was the ring for? We were... in a car? Going somewhere, but where? A ring... it had a jewel. Oh my love, why does my mind fail me in my time of need?
There was a light, and then there wasn’t. What light disappears? A torch maybe? Oh Salintine, why do I not remember why we aren’t together? A car... and a ring, a ring with a jewel; what are they for? And what of the colour red? Was it a red jewel perhaps? I don’t think so, I’m sure it was clear. A car and... An engagement ring! I was going to ask for your hand! My Salintine, Would you take my hand if offered?
The light. It was the head lights of a car as it passed us, a blue car. But what happened then? Oh damn this headache! I cannot remember what happened! Please Salintine, come and lift this veil of fog from my mind, let me hear the subtle sounds of your breath. The rush of air, the sound of life. The pain in my heart... what does it stand for? Heart break?
A blue car and an engagement ring. What of the red, what does it mean? Passion? Love? Oh Salintine, all this white reminds me of a ghost, as does this dreadful silence. I do not wish to be alone, I wish I could wake from this dreadful dream and see you lying there by my side. Why the red?
A blue car... or was it grey? No, definitely blue, but why does grey come to mind when I think of cars? Am I missing something? Maybe we were in a grey car, oh Salintine, come now, enlighten me about my past. Ease my sorrow, pick up my spirits, and let me hear your laugh.
There was a blue car... and a grey car. There were two cars that passed us. No, I only remember one car that passed. What happened to the other? Red... the tail lights of a car. The blue car, it went faster than I on the road. The driver was speeding, Followed by a grey car. It was a race, the two cars were racing and then... what then? I remember Salintine screaming. What was she saying? My name, she screamed my name. The grey car slipped off the road and spun out. Did we collide? Why can I not remember... my mind is so fuzzy Salintine. Why can I not concentrate?
Why the colours blue, grey, and red. The disappearing lights. The ring. How does all this connect? Grey car spinning, headlights turning off. The lights had cracked. Oh Salintine, I crashed into the grey car! We did collide. Now I can remember it. I remember the presence of Death, the fallen Angel, his bony fingers tearing us apart and ending our lives together. One to live on while the other...
Oh Salintine my love, why did these events turn out the way they did? Why are we not together? I wish we were still together, but fate has taken us away from one another. Salintine, my love, I am sorry. I am so sorry for the pain I caused you. Can you forgive me? I never meant this to happen. I should have listened when you said you did not want to go out for dinner that night.
I have reached the end. I am sorry for what happened. I am sorry for your pain
Oh Salintine.
I am sorry...
I am sorry that I died in the crash.