STD (Sex on The Down-low)

“Okay, so today we have a guest speaker in class, and I want you all to pay very close attention to what she has to say,” Mr. Martin says sternly, moving aside to reveal a petite brunette woman, not looking much older than mid-twenties.

“Hi,” she says tentatively. “So, I’m just going to be very blunt and get straight to the point. I specialize in sexual education, so today we’re going to be talking about safe sex, STD's, and basically everything you need to know,” she says, taking on a professional tone and going up to the front of the room to stand behind a table that’s been set up, filled with everything she brought.

The class is watching amusedly, a few snickers escaping some kids, and I glance at Ryan to see him smirking at me. I know exactly what he’s thinking.

I really don’t think this woman is going to be any help teaching me everything about sex, considering Ryan’s already beat her to that. Especially since Ryan gave me, well… hands-on experience. I smile back at him before turning my attention back to the teacher.

“Now, a lot of you may think that the only way to contract an STD is through actual intercourse, but that’s not the case,” she explains, handing a stack of pamphlets to a kid to pass around the room. “Firstly, there’s oral sex,” she says, and I hear a sound beside me. When I look at Ryan, he’s grinning, raising his eyebrows at me playfully. I bite my lip, mouthing, ‘stop it,’ but I’m unable to keep from smiling. His eyes are wide and loving, and that smile won’t leave his face. I can feel myself turning red.

“You should use protection no matter what kind of sex you’re having,” the teacher continues, bringing my attention back. “Unless you are absolutely certain that your partner is clean, you need to use protection. I know it may seem less pleasurable that way, but it’s better safe than sorry,” she laughs lightly. “So, oral sex – use protection.”

Ryan pokes my arm, and when I look at him, he giggles and mouths, ‘Oops.’ I roll my eyes, turning my attention back up front, but soon a piece of paper is sliding into my view. I unfold it, and in Ryan’s messy handwriting is, ‘bden i hope ur clean. remember what i did for you last night? ;)’

If my face was red before, it’s nothing compared to now. I can’t help a giggle from escaping my mouth as I slide the paper into my notebook. Ryan inconspicuously grabs my desk, inching it over closer to his own and going unnoticed by the teachers. Nobody really pays attention - it’s not like they don’t all know we’re dating. We make that more than apparent. But it’s not my fault Ryan likes to flaunt our relationship.

“You can also get sexually transmitted diseases or infections through anal sex,” the woman continues. Ryan snorts a little, biting his lip and trying not to laugh.

“Shh,” I whisper to him, a laugh interrupting my shushing.

“Did you hear that, Bren? Anal sex,” he whispers into my ear, laughing. I swat at his shoulder a little, noticing Mr. Martin glancing at us suspiciously. When he looks away, I turn toward Ryan, who I’m now nearly touching shoulders with thanks to him tugging my desk so close.

“Shut up,” I whisper, and he keeps that sly look on his face.

“Also,” the teacher says. “When I said oral sex, that includes, well - not to sound crude, but that includes rimming,” she says without shame, and a few incredulous laughs stutter out of a few students’ mouths. Ryan is biting his lip and clearly trying so hard to hold in his laughter. He trails his hand up my arm, leaning in close.

“I really hope you’re clean,” he giggles into my ear. I glance around nervously, praying that nobody can hear him because god, that would be so embarrassing.

“I’m not diseased, god,” I whisper back, biting my lip around a laugh.

“Well, obviously,” he murmurs, twirling a piece of my hair around his finger. “I was your first.”

I scoff, shoving him. ”Don’t act so smug. I was your first too, asshole,” I laugh. I don’t know why he acts like he’s some pro. He was just as virginal as I was. I guess he's more confident whereas I'm 'innocent' as he likes to put it. I think he likes the idea of corrupting my Mormon values. Clearly, those flew out the window long ago.

“And don’t forget,” the woman says, “Same-sex intercourse needs the same precautions.” I swear I’m not imagining her raising an eyebrow at Ryan and I when she says this.

“It’s a good thing we’re both clean,” Ryan whispers around a smile, poking my stomach. I jump, trying to push away his hand to stop him from poking me, but we just end up holding hands instead. Oops.

Ryan scoots his desk an inch closer, so we're completely pressed together, and he stares at me with a predatory gaze, licking his lips. What a tease.

The teacher grabs something off of the table and then retrieves something else from her bag. Is that - it’s a banana. Oh my god.

“She is not doing what I think she’s doing,” Ryan laughs, his breath tickling my cheek when he trails his lips over it. It’s a good thing our teacher doesn’t pay attention or we’d definitely be getting in trouble for all this touching that’s going on.

“I’m going to show you how to use a condom,” she says, and yes, she is definitely going to put a condom on a banana. How cliché. She tears the package open, and that reminds me of something. I start grinning.

“Hey,” I mumble into Ryan’s ear, holding onto his arm, “Do you remember the first time - when you tried to rip it open with your teeth all sexy-like and you totally couldn’t get it open -"

“Those packages are too motherfucking tough,” he interrupts, grinning back, but there’s a little pink on his cheeks. Ryan rarely gets embarrassed, but it's pretty much one of my favorite things when he does.

“I thought that was so cute,” I tell him, smiling shyly. He looks down, the blush settling deeper in his cheeks, and he runs his thumb over my hand. I can tell that he really wants to kiss me by the way his eyes keep darting down to my lips. I glance over at both teachers who are currently preoccupied, and I mean, what the hell, we’re in the back of the room and nobody is paying attention. I lean over and kiss him briefly, but softly, and a small laugh escapes him. He pulls me into another kiss, playing with the hair at the back of my neck and smoothing his thumb over my jaw. I smile, running my tongue over his bottom lip before pulling back.

“How rebellious of you,” he raises an eyebrow before smiling so big his teeth are showing. It's a smile he only does for me. “Sexy,” he comments, pressing another quick kiss to my mouth.

“Now, there’s also pregnancy that you need to consider,” the teacher says from the front of the room.

“At least that’s something we don’t have to worry about,” I shrug. Ryan nuzzles my cheek with his nose, air hitting my skin from his short little laugh.

“But you have to admit though, baby, you’d have the cutest pregnant belly ever,” he whispers, trailing his lips down my neck.

“Who says you wouldn’t be the pregnant one?” I scoff. But who am I kidding, I would be the cutest pregnant person ever.

“I’m not the one with child-bearing hips,” he shrugs, kissing my neck, and seriously, how is nobody noticing us right now?

“You love my hips,” I smirk. He hums, nodding in agreement against my neck. He makes it very clear how he feels about my body, and the bruises from his fingers on my hipbones are proof of that. I kind of love them.

The teacher puts down the banana at the front of the room, saying, “So, I guess that’s all the time we have for today. I’ll be here again tomorrow, but if you have any questions for me, go ahead and ask.” Some kid, Jarrod, raises his hand, and she calls on him. “Yes?”

“Yeah, I was just wondering, can Ryan and Brendon get STD’s from shoving their tongues down each other's throats back there?” he grins, pointing toward us. Ryan laughs along with the rest of the class, shrugging like, ‘Oh well, what are you gonna do,’ while the students all look back at us with their raised eyebrows and grinning faces, and I just sink into my chair and slowly die of embarrassment.

“Well, if there are no serious questions,” the teacher says, but there’s amusement in her tone, and she's clearly trying not to laugh. “Then I’ll see you all tomorrow.” She waves, leaving the room and letting Mr. Martin take over again. Ryan leans into me again, pressing his smile into my neck.

“You know I love it when you get all shy,” he murmurs, and if I’m not mistaken, there’s a hint of seduction in his smooth voice. “Just wait ‘til we get to my house,” he smirks. I glance over at him to see that he's shamelessly letting his eyes wander down my body.

“You’re sex-crazed,” I huff, turning my head away from him, but I’m only teasing.

“Well, how can I not be when I have such a sexy boyfriend?” he whispers, sending shivers down my spine. The bell rings just then, and I bite my lip, smiling at Ryan.

“How fast can you get us there without getting arrested?”