The Dilemma.

I was looking through my mom's old photo books, back when she lived in England. Before I came along and everything went to shit for mom. I see her, my dad (whom I've never met because he doesn't know I exist). I have an older brother, she would never show me the pictures of him before she died, but now looking at them, he looked a lot like her, from what I can tell he has dark brown hair, brown eyes. While I look like my grandma, deep red hair and dark green eyes. Anyways she never heard from him after she left, and he was only one years old. She didn't like to talk about it, but I know she missed him. Hell I miss him and I haven't ever met him. I could use a big brother sometimes. I sighed and closed the books placing it in a box. I looked around mom's old room at the house. I had to sell it. I need to get out of Wilmington. I don't think I can deal with the amount of sad here. Right now the plan was to go to Asheville for a week or two, then figure out what to do from there.

"You ready to go Rae?" Tina called out from the bottom stairs, she's my best friend and coming with me on my escape.

"Yeah, just getting this last box." I came down the stairs.

"Ready for two weeks in Asheville? Two weeks of running away from stress and conquering it at the same time." She smiled at me as she picked up the last box from the living room and we walked out and put it in the car, to take to the storage place until we got back. On the ride over there we were silent, it didn't bother me. Neither of us felt the need to talk, it was a time for just quiet and it was nice. We dropped off the boxes from the living room, and kitchen I kept the one with the pictures.

"So, off to Asheville finally!" Tina screamed as she jumped into the passenger side of my jeep.

"Definitely. Get the music." I grinned at her as she started shuffling through our huge thing of cd's. After she put in one I didn't know, and us dancing like idiots and getting on the interstate for a straight shot to this small ride out of Asheville town. She turned town the music really quiet.

"I know this is random and all, but why'd you bring the pictures."

I sighed "I honestly, don't know. I didn't want to leave them there for some reason. I don't know. I just, something’s drawing me to those pictures of them you know. Before she moved here, she was so different. She looked, just not as stressed. If she felt what I feel when she looked at the pictures of him, I don't even understand why she never tried to find him." I sighed. This has been the topic for a few conversations over the past month and a half. "I look at those pictures of my brother, and I want to know him, but he has no idea that I exist, let alone who I am. And that sucks, that's my brother. I know mom had to feel twice the amount of longing to know him that I do. I just want to meet him, just once. Just a 'hi, how are you?' He doesn't even have to know I'm his sister. I just want to talk to him."

"I know Rae. I know, just give it time. Let it be for right now, things will fall into place." She turned back up the radio and we spent the next 7 hours singing, stopping for food. Laughing at guys that tried to hit on her, just being carefree. We finally had pulled up to this nice Days Inn around 2 in the morning; I pulled out my computer to check my email before I showered. "You seeing if you have anything from Kerrang! Yet?" Tina asked, I just graduated college for journalism and I sent in an application for an internship at Kerrang. I haven't heard anything yet but I'm hoping to.

"I'm pulling up my email now." I waited for the screen to load. Then it did, I had one new email and it was from them "HOLY SHIT THEY SENT ME SOMETHING BACK THEY SENT ME SOMETHING BACK!!!!!" I screamed

"OPEN IT ALREADY I WANNA KNOW!!!!" Tina screamed. I took a few deep breaths, and opened the email then started reading out loud.

"Dear, Lennon Rae Gettys
We are pleased to inform you of an opening for Kerrang! Magazine, it will be a 7 month journey around the UK documenting a tour with the band You Me At Six. We booked you a plane from Charlotte Airport for Feb 17th at 5 a.m. The ticket is already paid for all you have to do is show up and tell them your name. The band, their manager, and one of our staff members will be at the airport in London to pick you up. From there you will have a day to get what you need ready and then you're off for tour. Depending on your work, after the tour is over, you may or may not be offered a job with us. Best of luck to you!"

"HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT YOU LEAVE IN TWO DAYS HOLY SHIT! WE HAVE TO GO SHOPPING TOMORROW!!!!!!" Tina screamed, as I was staring at my computer screen in shock.

"Holy. Fuck."

"We need to celebrate!"

"We will celebrate tomorrow. I'm going to shower, let this sink in, and then go to sleep." I stood up grabbing my towel and went into the bathroom turning on the water to mordor. The steam rose off my skin as I stepped into the water, letting it run over my body as I washed my hair and body. I thought about my brother, maybe I'd be able to find him on this, who knows he might be a fan of this band. I shook my head. I don't need to get my hopes up. It's a one in a million chance. I stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed and calm. For once. I wrapped the towel around my body and went into the hotel room.

"So tomorrow, we check out, pack up, go to the ball buy you a few more suitcases and enough close for 7 months in the UK. And then we head to charlotte." Tina said as I plopped down on my bed.

"Ok, goodnight. I love you."

"I love you. Sweet dreams Rae. I'm proud of you and your mom would be too. He would too if he knew you." She said. I knew she meant my brother, she understood how much I wanted an older sibling; she saw the look of jealousy I got when around her family. She knew it all, and still loved me. This is why she was my best friend.

--

"Wake up!!! It's time to check out!" I was suddenly cold as my
blankets ended up on the floor. "I packed your stuff up all you have to do is get up, get dressed, and go to the jeep and I'll drive us to the mall and then the airport." Tina smiled at me as she pulled me up, despite my nudity and pushed me in the bathroom saying my clothes were in there. I slowly put my jeans on and threw on the sweat shirt she had in there for me. I brushed out my hair and threw on my scarf. I exited the bathroom grabbed my phone, its 5 o'clock how the hell did I sleep that long, and headed out the door picking up my bags.

"I'm off to the jeep; I'll see you when you get out there." I yelled to Tina. I walked out to the jeep threw my bags in the back leaving room for the stuff I was going to buy in the back seat. I sat down smoked a cigarette and closed my eyes, as I was about to sleep again the door opened and Tina started the car and drove the short distance to the mall. Once we were there and parked she drug me out and into the mall. Ignoring my protest she pulled me directly to the Victoria Secret.

"I hate this place!" I whined as she was throwing bras at me.

"Well, if you meet a nice British guy and hit things off you want to look nice don't you." She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"That's not gonna happen and you know it."

"There's always a possibility. No we're getting these and then we can go to wherever you want." She rolled her eyes and drug me to the check out. After 100 dollars worth of underwear we went to a place with suitcases and I bought one more. Two should be enough to last me that long. We went to a few stores getting me some dresses, new sweats, some actual pj's a few pairs of jeans and some shirts.

"NO more clothes I have more than enough!" I shouted dragging Tina back out to the jeep with all our bags rolling the suitcase behind me.

"But!"

"No! We're gonna have issues putting all this in two suitcases as it is."

"Ugh fine!" She gave up right as we got to the jeep we put down the front seats and starting folding clothes and putting them in my suitcases. Once that was complete I jumped into the driver seat and we started off towards Charlotte. "So I downloaded some of this band should we listen to see what kind of music you're going to be dealing with?"

"Yeah sure, plug your phone up." I shrugged. May as well. This way I'll not look like a complete idiot for having no idea who these guys were. It started off, it's pretty good music, a little bit edgy at times, a little bit breakup band at others. I can deal with it.

"They're pretty good."

"I was just thinking that. They've got several different qualities to their music which I like. It'll be cool meeting the guys to come up with this too." I nodded along to the song. Then a slower song came on. It was sad, but accepting. Once it got started playing the words starting hitting home a bit more.

"What's the name of this song?" I choked out.

Tina looked at her phone. "When We Were Younger."

"Can you drive?" I asked her as I pulled to the side of the road.

"Yeah don't worry about it." She got out and went around as I climbed over into the passenger seat. I sat there as she pulled back onto the road, listening to this song. It's somehow everything thing I've been feeling since Mom passed. "You ok?"

I took a deep breathe "Yeah, just this song. Hit me a lot more than I thought it would ya know? But it a good way."

"Okay, just remember I'll be here for you through anything."

"I know I don't know what I'm going to do without you while I'm over there."

"You'll be just fine. You can call me, and Skype me every day, no matter the time difference, I'll answer. So will my mom. We're always going to be here for you. And I'm sure the guys will love you." She smiled at me.

"Thank you so much. I seriously love you. How long until we get to charlotte?"

"Fifteen minutes. And it's about 1 o'clock right now. You just wanna get some coffee and stay up instead of sleeping in the airport?" I nodded and we went off for some food. We ended up getting some Taco Bell and eating it right next to the airport. We stood there talking of all the possibilities that this could get me. I was starting to realize how nervous I am

"What if I'm not good enough?" I asked as we walked into the airport heading towards check in.

"You're more than good enough Rae, you're one of the best writers I know, and I'm not just saying that because you're my best friend. You were good enough to get the internship. Just think about the positives. And before you even start on it, everyone there is going to adore you just as much as I do." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"How in the hell do you know me so well."

"We've been in school together since kindergarten how could I not?" We laughed as it was my turn to go to the woman behind the desk.

"Ticket?"

"Uhm, I'm not really sure what to do, Kerrang booked my ticket and I was told to just show up."

"Name?" The woman said looking me up and down

"Lennon Rae Gettys."

"Ah. Miss. Gettys." She said as she printed off my ticket and handed it to me. "Have a nice flight. Your stuff will be announced over the intercom when it's time to leave." She smiled at me as I walked back towards Tina and my stuff.

"So we have one more hour until boarding." She sighed.

"I know! But at least I get to spend my last moment in the US for the next 7 months with my best friend." I poked her.

"Of course." She smiled as she hugged me "I'm gonna miss you so much." She mumbled.

"I'm gonna miss you too, but like you said. We'll talk every day. I'll make sure of it. Hey, will you tell mom for me when you're back in Wilmington?" She just looked at me and nodded. We just stood there like that for the next forty-five minutes until my flight was called over for boarding. We walked hand in hand to the place where she couldn't go any further.

"Just be careful for me, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

"I will, take care of yourself, you're gonna kill it. I'll be here when you get back." We let each other go as I walked and handed my guy the ticket and he told me where my seat was. Once in the plane, I put my bags up and grabbed the window seat pulling out my phone turning on my music, and slowly drifting off to sleep. I woke up to the person beside me shaking me.

"We're in London now. It's about 7 at night here." The old man smiled at me as he got up. Damn, I bet he would have been awesome for conversation.

"Thanks." I smiled back and got up, grabbing my bag from the overhead and heading off the plane. Security was too slow, and I made it to the baggage claim fast as I could. Once I found my bags, I started looking around for something that would tell me that someone's here for me. Then I saw a giant poster with my name written on it, in glitter. Wow. I slowly walked to that sign, seeing five boys, who must be the band, an older guy and one girl. Once I walked up to them I cleared my throat and they all turned to look at me.

"So, I'm guessing that the bird who's coming on tour with us then?" One of the guys, short, messy brown hair and eyes that we're a ridiculous shade of blue, said.

"Yupp, I am Lennon Rae Gettys. Though I go by Rae." I waved.

"Nice to meet you Rae. I'm Catherine. I'm with Kerrang, and will be with you up until you leave tomorrow." I smiled at her, she reminded me of Tina,

"Cool." I smiled

"I'm Josh," The one with messy hair said. He went to say something else but I was sort of tackled into a hug by a shorter guy. Apparently I was looking uncomfortable because Josh pulled the other one off of me.

"I'm Max hi!" The shorter one said, clearly he was full of energy, he had short brown hair and I swear I've seen someone with eyes exactly like him before. "That's Chris," He pointed to the guy with long hair "Matt," He looks Asian "and Dan." He has some grade-a bone structure on him that one does.

"Rae." I waved.

"And this is Bobby! Our tour manager." He pointed to the older guy and I waved at him

"Well, you must be hungry. Let's get you some food." Chris said. I went to pick up my bag but Josh and Dan already had them in their hands.

"You don't have to do that you know? I'm a full grown woman I can carry my own shit."

"Whatever, you're a lady. No need for you to carry big things." Max said as he threw his arm over my shoulder.

"You really have no concept of personal space do you Max?" Matt said as he smacked him upside the head.

"It's fine. My best friend back home doesn't believe in it either so I'm used to it."

"Good to know." They laughed as we went to the car; I was talking to Catherine about what I'd be doing for work. Apparently just two or three small pieces a day about their show, life style, and the effect they’ve had on their fans. Whatever I could find to make an article out of. Should be easy enough.

"So where are we gonna get food, and then were am I sleeping cause I'm exhausted."

"Well for food, probably Nando's," at this Chris groaned "and for the sleep thing we're all crashing at Max's tonight, I'm sure you could stay there." Dan said as he looked at Max.

"No problem with me. Just we're gonna have to do the hat tonight." She shrugged; I raised my eyebrows at him. "We put our names in Dan’s snapback and draw to see who sleeps where."

"Okay, whatever, as long as I can sleep somewhere I don't care." I shrugged

"We should be getting food soon." I nodded and dug through my purse for my phone so I could text Tina. I told her I had landed and was getting food with everyone and would call before I went to bed. She said ok. "You up for going in and getting food or do you just want sleep?" I got asked.

"Sleep sounds wonderful, so can someone go in and get my food. Doesn't matter what I get just bring me food." I smiled at them

"No problem. I'll get it for you." Max smiled at me. I still can't figure out why his eyes look so similar. As the car stopped most everyone piled out, but me and Chris.

"Why didn't you go in?" I asked him

"We eat here a lot on tour and I'd tired of eating it all the time."

"Ah. Makes sense I guess."

"So, what made you decide to apply for the out of country job?"

"My mom lived here before she got pregnant with me, some bad things happened and she left her husband and my older brother before she found out I was on the way. Came to see what life was like for her before the states I guess. She always said it was a beautiful place."

"That's a cool reason. Do you have any idea where your dad and brother are?"

"No, I don't. They don't even know I exist for all my knowledge. If I find them, I do, If I don't I don't. I've got my writing to focus on anyways." I shrugged.

"I understand that." He nodded and we fell into a silence until everyone else came jumping into the car.

"We're off to Max's we'll eat when we get there and do the hat after." Bobby said from the driver’s seat. The drive was full of chatter, mainly the guys talking about something or other I was off in my own head. I wonder if my brother lives around here. Who knows? At least I can say I'm in the country that Mom grew up in. Soon we were at some apartments and all the guys and I piled out, the grabbing my bags before I could get them myself.

"See you guys early in the morning. Don't scare her too much tonight."

"We won't!" Josh yelled.

"I'll call you in the morning to make sure you're all awake!" Catherine said as they pulled off. I followed them up the stairs to Max's place.

"It's trashed in there, so ignore the mess." I rolled my eyes at Max's words before he opened the door.

"Mess, yeah right. You can see a floor. You're place is in so much better shape than my house was."

"Whatever, I think it looks horrible." Max said "Anyways, sit. It's time for some food." I sat on the only single person chair as Max started handing out the food while Chris dug around in the kitchen for him some food and drinks for everyone.

"Is beer ok with you Rae?" Chris shouted.

"Yeah it's fine." He entered the living room area and handed everyone the drinks. I opened mine a took a sip.

"So, Rae. Tell us about you?" Max said from his seat on the couch beside Josh.

"What do you want to know?" I shrugged.

"Anything."

I shrugged. "My mom used to live in England but left before I was born she died last month of cancer, my favorite colors purple, I hate 85% of people, I won't talk in the morning unless I've had three cups of coffee and three cigarettes, my brother and dad have no idea I exist, and I miss my best friend terribly even though I saw her only 10 hours ago."

"What's your favorite TV show?" Dan asked.

"Supernatural."

"Do you not like Gossip Girl?!" He screeched.

"I'm not into petty drama in real life why would I want to watch it on TV; I’d rather watch two guys killing shit." I shrugged. He gave me a look of shame

"Why don't you like people?" Josh asked

"Cause a lot of people are closed minded ass holes who don't know how to complete a coherent thought and I have no patience to deal with that." He nodded as I took a bite of my food.

"Favorite movie?"

"Lilo & Stitch."

"Win! That's one of my favorites too!" Max shouted.

"Rad." I took a sip of my beer and finished off my food. "So, I'm tired. Where am I sleeping?"

"Get the hat!" Max said as Chris started writing names down on a paper and Dan got one of his hats out. They put the names in there and shook it up. Dan pulled a paper out.

"How the hell does the new girl end up getting pulled first?" He said. I started laughing.

"Beginners luck I guess." I shrugged. "Someone show me the room with the most comfortable bed please?"

"Yeah, next person who gets drawn will show you." Dan said as he grabbed another piece of paper. "And that person is Max." Max got up and gestured for me to follow him I stood up and grabbed my bags before he could, he ended up taking one of them out of my hands.

"No need for all of this you know. I can carry it."

"Nonsense. I shall do it." He rolled his eyes. "Well, here we are," He stopped in front of a room, "My room has the best bed in it so you can have it."

"You don't need to give up your room." I sighed.

"Nah, you asked for the best bed and you pulled first so you get it." He opened the door and sat my bag in the hall.

"Alright. Thanks."

"No problem. I'll even change the sheets for you, god knows the last time I did that." He laughed and rushed to the bed pulling all the sheets off of it before getting new ones out of a cabinet. I helped him put them on. "You didn't have to do that ya know?" He said.

"I know I did it anyways though." I flopped on to the bed and started taking off my shoes.

"I noticed." He laughed. "So, this is gonna sound weird. But I feel like I've seen you somewhere else."

"I understand I feel like I've seen you somewhere else too." I shrugged.

"Have you ever been to one of our shows on warped tour or something last year?"

"Honestly, never even heard of your band before I got the job."

"Huh? Guess I just know someone who you remind me of." He got up off the bed. "Have a good night. Don't sleep in my bed naked because someone will be in here to wake you up early tomorrow morning."

"Good to know." I said before he shut the door, leaving me to put on a long shirt that I bought yesterday before sliding into his bed, which let me tell you, was heaven. Smelt of cigarettes, and body wash, was fluffy but not too fluffy. Just perfect. I soon drifted off to sleep.