But You Still Have All of Me
ten.
“I picked up a couple things for Lily.” Gerard smiled, dropping a few bags on my living room floor.
“You’re spoiling her and she’s not even here yet.” I laughed, rubbing my belly where she was currently doing summersaults.
“I know, but it’s my duty as luckiest uncle ever.” He grinned, shrugging his shoulders. “They have the coolest stuff for kids these days.”
Things changed over the last few months and although I embraced those changes I also felt uneasy about them, maybe even a little guilty. I had been finding it less comfortable leaving the house to go out and do what the guys wanted to do, so Gerard had been spending a fair amount of time at my place. He seemed content just sitting around with me and he’d even been helping me out around the house.
“I think we should tackle your mountain of laundry today.” Gerard’s voice broke through my thoughts. “I’m pretty sure it’ll try to eat you soon if you don’t take care of it.” He laughed.
It was true, if I let it sit any longer it probably would take on a life of it’s own and try to kill me and my unborn daughter.
“I guess I should get it done.” I hoisted myself up from the couch and headed into my bedroom to my hamper. I wasn’t in there two seconds before Gerard was right behind me, making sure I didn’t lift anything. “You know, I’m not going to break it’s a laundry hamper Gee. I’m pregnant, not dying.” I laughed.
“Yeah yeah, I know.” He laughed, hands raised in surrender. “I get it, let you do your own damn laundry.”
“Pretty much, you know the drill. Don’t piss off a pregnant woman.” I stuck my tongue out. The chances of me ever getting mad at Gerard were slim to none.
I was so grateful for Gerard being around. It really did ease the fears I was having. In just a few months Lily would be here and it still freaked me out that I wouldn’t have Frank to help out with parenting. I missed him every day, and my heart still ached for him, but I was sleeping through the night again, without crying out for him. This is where the guilt came in. I felt like I should still be a lot more sad about the loss of Frank, but I had actually been coping pretty well. I also felt guilty that I had been hogging Gerard from the other guys. He’d only been going to band practice and the few gigs that they booked, not going out with them on their daily adventures. It was just nice to have my best friend around so much, and to have the support I did from him.
A few hours later, we had finished my laundry, had lunch and even watched a bit of trash TV for entertainment. “Gee, I think I need a nap, big time.” I commented, attempting to sit up again from the slouch I was positioned in.
“Okay.” He smiled. “I can come back later on if you want.”
“Actually, I want you to do something else for me.” I smiled back at him, hoping it wouldn’t hurt his feelings. “I want you to go out with the guys and have fun for me. I’ve been keeping you from them lately, and that’s not cool. Before they end up hating me for it, I want you to go and hang out.”
“Alright Aid.” He nodded. “PS though, you aren’t keeping me,” he laughed just slightly. “I’ve been here on my own free will. And the guys would never hate you.”
“You know what I mean though.” I laughed. “Plus, since I can’t have fun going out, I need you to do it for me. But for now, I need to go nap. Lily has been so active that it tires me out.” I yawned, rubbing my belly again, where this time she was kicking away.
Gerard reached out to my belly and rubbed it gently. “Give your mom a break Lil, just for now at least.” As if on cue, the kicking sensation stopped. “Seriously?” I asked out loud.
He chuckled at this. “I guess we know who her favorite uncle is already.”
“I guess so.” I responded. “Anywho, have fun tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled up at him.
“See you tomorrow Aid.”
With that, I was left in my quiet apartment for the day, ready for the longest nap of life.
“You’re spoiling her and she’s not even here yet.” I laughed, rubbing my belly where she was currently doing summersaults.
“I know, but it’s my duty as luckiest uncle ever.” He grinned, shrugging his shoulders. “They have the coolest stuff for kids these days.”
Things changed over the last few months and although I embraced those changes I also felt uneasy about them, maybe even a little guilty. I had been finding it less comfortable leaving the house to go out and do what the guys wanted to do, so Gerard had been spending a fair amount of time at my place. He seemed content just sitting around with me and he’d even been helping me out around the house.
“I think we should tackle your mountain of laundry today.” Gerard’s voice broke through my thoughts. “I’m pretty sure it’ll try to eat you soon if you don’t take care of it.” He laughed.
It was true, if I let it sit any longer it probably would take on a life of it’s own and try to kill me and my unborn daughter.
“I guess I should get it done.” I hoisted myself up from the couch and headed into my bedroom to my hamper. I wasn’t in there two seconds before Gerard was right behind me, making sure I didn’t lift anything. “You know, I’m not going to break it’s a laundry hamper Gee. I’m pregnant, not dying.” I laughed.
“Yeah yeah, I know.” He laughed, hands raised in surrender. “I get it, let you do your own damn laundry.”
“Pretty much, you know the drill. Don’t piss off a pregnant woman.” I stuck my tongue out. The chances of me ever getting mad at Gerard were slim to none.
I was so grateful for Gerard being around. It really did ease the fears I was having. In just a few months Lily would be here and it still freaked me out that I wouldn’t have Frank to help out with parenting. I missed him every day, and my heart still ached for him, but I was sleeping through the night again, without crying out for him. This is where the guilt came in. I felt like I should still be a lot more sad about the loss of Frank, but I had actually been coping pretty well. I also felt guilty that I had been hogging Gerard from the other guys. He’d only been going to band practice and the few gigs that they booked, not going out with them on their daily adventures. It was just nice to have my best friend around so much, and to have the support I did from him.
A few hours later, we had finished my laundry, had lunch and even watched a bit of trash TV for entertainment. “Gee, I think I need a nap, big time.” I commented, attempting to sit up again from the slouch I was positioned in.
“Okay.” He smiled. “I can come back later on if you want.”
“Actually, I want you to do something else for me.” I smiled back at him, hoping it wouldn’t hurt his feelings. “I want you to go out with the guys and have fun for me. I’ve been keeping you from them lately, and that’s not cool. Before they end up hating me for it, I want you to go and hang out.”
“Alright Aid.” He nodded. “PS though, you aren’t keeping me,” he laughed just slightly. “I’ve been here on my own free will. And the guys would never hate you.”
“You know what I mean though.” I laughed. “Plus, since I can’t have fun going out, I need you to do it for me. But for now, I need to go nap. Lily has been so active that it tires me out.” I yawned, rubbing my belly again, where this time she was kicking away.
Gerard reached out to my belly and rubbed it gently. “Give your mom a break Lil, just for now at least.” As if on cue, the kicking sensation stopped. “Seriously?” I asked out loud.
He chuckled at this. “I guess we know who her favorite uncle is already.”
“I guess so.” I responded. “Anywho, have fun tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled up at him.
“See you tomorrow Aid.”
With that, I was left in my quiet apartment for the day, ready for the longest nap of life.