But You Still Have All of Me
four.
Without realizing it, I was sitting back down in front of the headstone. My eyes were glossy from remembering all that had happened. The images and events, so vivid in my mind. In a very low voice, I spoke to Frank. Although he was not there, I knew somehow that he could hear me.
“It’s been a year, 12 whole months without you. It isn’t getting any easier without you, but I think I’m doing alright, all things considered.” I laughed at this. The month after I had lost Frank I’d gotten another life changing surprise. Nothing would be the same, but I believe now that it was a gift. It was Frank’s way of proving to me that I’d always have him with me.
July 28th
I hadn’t thought much of it at first, I thought it was just because of stress. I had been getting ill, my period had been absent. A week or so after the funeral I had gone to the doctor to get something for sleep and anxiety. He had said then that it was normal for stress to throw my body out of order. He hadn’t even questioned the possibility that I could be pregnant.
Yet here I was just two weeks later, in the same office. I had made an appointment after three straight mornings of throwing up.
“Hello again Aiden, how are you feeling? Has the medication helped any?” He asked, smiling kindly at me.
“The medication did make some difference, but I’m here today for a pregnancy test.” I rushed through it, wishing that it wasn’t happening. I couldn’t stomach the thought of going through parenthood alone.
“Oh, alright. We’ll get started on that then.”
They had told me I could simply wait in the office for the result, but I couldn’t sit still long enough. I was terrified. I drove straight to Gerard’s, not wanting to be alone while I waited for the news. I didn’t tell him what was going on, just incase it was a fluke and I wasn’t actually pregnant.
An hour or so later, I received the second life changing phone call I’d had in the year.
“Miss McKeown, this is Shirley from Dr. Tilson’s office calling with the results to your pregnancy test. As it turns out, the result is positive, congratulations Miss McKeown. Dr. Tilson would like to schedule you in for an ultrasound next week, just to see exactly how far along you are. He says you seem to be about two months along, but again, he’d like to confirm that.”
I stayed silent.
“Miss McKeown, are you there?” Shirley asked.
“Sorry, yes. Next week is fine.” I was going into shock, and fast.
“Well congratulations again Miss McKeown, we’ll see you next Wednesday at 9:30.” She spoke cheerfully before hanging up the phone.
The shock must have been all over my face, as Gerard started to ask what was wrong. I felt dizzy suddenly and my vision became a bit fuzzy. Before I could tell him what was going on, I passed out.
“It’s been a year, 12 whole months without you. It isn’t getting any easier without you, but I think I’m doing alright, all things considered.” I laughed at this. The month after I had lost Frank I’d gotten another life changing surprise. Nothing would be the same, but I believe now that it was a gift. It was Frank’s way of proving to me that I’d always have him with me.
July 28th
I hadn’t thought much of it at first, I thought it was just because of stress. I had been getting ill, my period had been absent. A week or so after the funeral I had gone to the doctor to get something for sleep and anxiety. He had said then that it was normal for stress to throw my body out of order. He hadn’t even questioned the possibility that I could be pregnant.
Yet here I was just two weeks later, in the same office. I had made an appointment after three straight mornings of throwing up.
“Hello again Aiden, how are you feeling? Has the medication helped any?” He asked, smiling kindly at me.
“The medication did make some difference, but I’m here today for a pregnancy test.” I rushed through it, wishing that it wasn’t happening. I couldn’t stomach the thought of going through parenthood alone.
“Oh, alright. We’ll get started on that then.”
They had told me I could simply wait in the office for the result, but I couldn’t sit still long enough. I was terrified. I drove straight to Gerard’s, not wanting to be alone while I waited for the news. I didn’t tell him what was going on, just incase it was a fluke and I wasn’t actually pregnant.
An hour or so later, I received the second life changing phone call I’d had in the year.
“Miss McKeown, this is Shirley from Dr. Tilson’s office calling with the results to your pregnancy test. As it turns out, the result is positive, congratulations Miss McKeown. Dr. Tilson would like to schedule you in for an ultrasound next week, just to see exactly how far along you are. He says you seem to be about two months along, but again, he’d like to confirm that.”
I stayed silent.
“Miss McKeown, are you there?” Shirley asked.
“Sorry, yes. Next week is fine.” I was going into shock, and fast.
“Well congratulations again Miss McKeown, we’ll see you next Wednesday at 9:30.” She spoke cheerfully before hanging up the phone.
The shock must have been all over my face, as Gerard started to ask what was wrong. I felt dizzy suddenly and my vision became a bit fuzzy. Before I could tell him what was going on, I passed out.