Fantasy Reality

“You, my friend, lead a very interesting life”, I told Sid as he wandered into my room. “Why do you say that?” he asked as he stood next to me. I pointed to my laptop screen and the website I was on; there were pictures of 3 girls and the site claimed that they all dated Sid at some point.

“What is this?” he asked as he pushed me over to get a better look. “It’s a who’s dated who website, these are all the girls that you’ve dated”, I explained to him. Sid laughed. “That girl there, she was someone I hung out with on vacation early in my career. Nothing remotely close to being defined as dating or a relationship.” Next he pointed to the picture of a blonde model. “Kathy, I never dated her either”.

“Oh ya?” I wasn’t buying it. “It’s true, we met at a Pens event and she was in town for the weekend and asked if I could show her around. We went to the submarine and museum. That was it.”

“Oh”. Sid poked me with his elbow. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous? No, of course not, I’m just curious”. I could tell that he didn’t believe me, but he looked back at the screen. “As for her”, he pointed to the last picture on the site “Jess, I dated”.

“Was it serious?”

“It was serious in the sense that she was one of the stable things in my life for a period of time. It was back in 2006 or so, I was still trying to adjust to playing in the NHL and living in Pittsburgh. We dated for about 6 months but then things changed. Pictures were leaked, my number got out and I really didn’t have time for a relationship. She didn’t take it so well, but that’s it”.

“Oh”.

Sid looked at me. “Is ‘Oh’ the only word you can say?” he asked

“I don’t know what to say, I’ve always thought those were the girls that you’ve dated and had relationships with in the past. It’s just strange hearing you talk about it. Was that your longest relationship?”

“Besides hockey?” He grinned at me and laughed. “Ya, 6 months is the longest time I dated someone on a regular basis. Usually I’m set up on dates by family friends or people in the Penguins organization. Those are one time things and then it could be weeks before I go on another date. Like I said, hockey is my girlfriend.”

Here I was, getting another glimpse into Sidney Crosby’s life. “Don’t think you’re getting off easy”, he said as he turned away from the computer and leaned against the desk. It’s your turn to talk now”. Oh lord.

“What do you want to know?”

“You know about all my girlfriends, fake and real, so tell me about your boyfriends”.

“I’ve only really had one boyfriend”, I muttered as I got up off the computer chair and walked over to the window.

“Just one? I figured with your personality and good looks, you’d have to be beating them away with a stick”.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Sid had taken my place on the computer chair. Looking back out the window, I sighed. “I don’t really have much faith in guys. The only real boyfriend I had, cheated on me throughout our relationship and I didn’t even know it. My so called friends kept his secret. When I went out of town for my Grandfather’s funeral, he left a club with 4 girls and went to their house. He made me feel like a fool and I had promised myself a long time ago that no guy would ever make me feel inadequate. After Rick, I concentrated on school and my career and guys took a backseat”.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Carly. Any guy to cheat on you is a fool”. I turned to face Sid, “thanks”.

“There’s something else to it, isn’t there?”

“In high school I had this crush on a guy for years before I would allow my friends to ask him out for me. Do you know what he told them? He said that he was too good for me. Those words still haunt me to this day and I vowed that I wouldn’t let anyone make me feel like I’m not good enough for them. But this, what we’re doing, I feel that way every single day.”

Sid stood up and narrowed the gap between us. “Are you trying to say that I make you feel like you’re not good enough for me?”

Looking up into his eyes, I knew I had to tell him the truth. “It’s not just you. I feel like I’m not good enough to be standing in this house right now and being a part of your life.”

“Oh Carly, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Don’t you realize that we care about you? Mike, Mario and Nathalie, they all adore you. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Do you know that whenever I hear a funny joke, the first thing I think about is ‘I can’t wait to tell Carly so I can hear her laugh’. When something good happens, you’re the first person I want to tell. Never think that you’re not good enough for me; because in reality, I’m not good enough for you. You deserve a guy who can spend 24/7 with you, who doesn’t travel all over North America for his job and a guy that don’t come with so much baggage”.

We stood there, looking into each others eyes, just an arm length away from each other. Sid was the one who made the first move and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead enveloped me into his arms. My head rested against his shoulder and in that moment, in his arms, I felt so safe and so secure and so at home.

“You’re a great friend Carly, I hope you know that”, Sid muttered against my head and I felt my stomach flop. He saw me nothing more than a friend, he was actually playing the part while I was living it and falling for him more and more as the time went on. One statement can change everything and I stepped out of his embrace.

“You too, Sid”, I muttered as I was brought back in time to that day in high school; only this time, there were different words spoken and this time it hurt that much more.