Write It Down

Alex was… tired. He was tired of lying on this cot next to Jack’s bed. Tired of waiting for him to wake up, and when he finally did, he was tired of watching him slip away.
Alex was tired of everything. Having a cancer-infected boyfriend was almost more than he could handle and he was tired of it. He was exhausted. Nevertheless, he sat there day after day right next to Jack as he withered away.

Ever since the night Jack collapsed in the Gaskarth’s dining room, the doctors were no help; they wouldn’t tell them anything. “Oh, we won’t know anything until tomorrow,” is what they said every day. It was as if their tomorrow was never coming. They were supposed to be moving to Atlanta tomorrow and Alex didn’t know if Jack would be permitted to go and that scared him. Atlanta was their only hope to put this nightmare to rest, and if Jack can’t go, neither can Alex.

Which means no job.

This whole thing was such a big mess and it was dragging the motivation right out from under Alex’s feet and that made him want to vomit. He almost regretted being with Jack. Almost. And that made him absolutely sick to his stomach. Losing someone is the scariest thing in the world, but it’s all they’ve ever known. Ever since Alex met Jack all he has done is tote him from doctor’s appointment to doctor’s appointment. It shouldn’t bother him, but it did. He loved Jack with every fiber of his being, but things were starting to get so hard and so nerve-wrecking. He almost wanted to pack up his things and leave, pretending it never happened and removing the thoughts of Jack from his mind forever.

That way he wouldn’t have to be so miserable.

But, of course, Alex would never be so selfish. He knew that despite the frustrations he would be there for Jack, because he did love him.

“Alex?” A voice broke his train of thought, and he looked up to notice it was Mrs. Barakat. This woman was so amazing in his opinion. She sat next to Jack, singing him his favorite lullabies. Whether he was asleep or awake, she would sing to him. “Honey, you can go home and rest. You’ve been locked in this hospital room with Jack for 3 days.” She smiled warmly as she walked over to Alex, passed all the plastic chords connected to her son. “If he wakes up, I’ll just tell him you went home to get a few things. I can stay with him tonight.”

Alex didn’t want that, though. After all the terrible thoughts he had been having regarding Jack these past few days, he owed it to him to remain where he was; by his side.

“No, I’m fine. My parents have been bringing me clothes,” Alex smiled as he rested his hand on Jack’s. They were waiting for the doctor to tell them if it was okay Jack be transferred to Atlanta. Alex had every part of his body crossed in hopes of a good report.

Mrs. Barakat just smiled and told him she was going to head down to the cafeteria for some lunch. Alex nodded as he leaned back into his chair, closing his eyes. He really was exhausted.
And right now, he wanted nothing more than a nap.

---

Jack’s whole body hurt. He knew it was the cancer, but he kept on pretending it was something else. Anything else. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at his sleeping boyfriend. The doctor’s keep suggesting Alex go home, but he never did. He stayed right next to Jack the entire time.

That comforted Jack in a way.
But, he saw the way Alex had begun looking at him. It was different. Almost as if he were tired of him. Which, Jack wouldn’t blame him because this whole thing is a lot for someone that didn’t have to be here in the first place. Jack was just really grateful that Alex had stuck around this long.

He leaned his head back on the surprisingly cozy hospital pillow just as his doctor walked in. It was the same doctor that had been here from the beginning, and honestly, he was starting to feel a certain amount of safety when he was around. Like, there was no way he would die because the doctor was in the room.
The doctor.
Every cancer patient loves their doctor.

“Hey Jack,” he said as he walked over towards the bed. Jack frowned at the plastic life-providing tubes he had to step over. “I have some pretty great news!” He paused as he checked Jack’s folder and smiled. “You’re vitals are fine, and the cancer hasn’t spread! We really apologize for how long it has taken to get the results back, but things have been pretty hectic. But, you’re free to transfer to Atlanta whenever you two are ready,” the doctor’s smile grew when he looked over at a sleeping Alex. “He hasn’t left your side, you know. I think sending you to Atlanta with him, giving you a change in scenery, would be good for you.”

“We can leave tomorrow?” Jack felt himself get excited as the heart monitor’s pace quickened and the loud BEEPS caused a chuckle to escape the doctor’s lips.

“Yes. Go on and have fun. You’re doing great. It was just a small relapse. False alarm, it is quite common for patients suffering with your type of illness to experience it. But so far, you’re responding to the treatments quite well,” Jack wanted to jump up and kiss this man.
He and Alex were to leave for Atlanta tomorrow morning, and things were going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay again. He was going to live, Alex was going to get his job. Perfection.

As his doctor walked out, the door slammed loudly, waking Alex.
Perfect timing..

“ALEX!” Jack yelled as his boyfriend jumped from the shock. “IM APPROVED! WE CAN GO TO ATLANTA.”

Alex looked at him with a confused look on his face before it finally hit him.

They were going to Atlanta.
Alex felt his stomach jump up into his throat as he took in the best news he had heard in days.
Their tomorrow finally came.