Write It Down

Alex was a mess. As he went to Email his new friend… and possible story topic… back, he was practically shaking as he typed.
His boss was right, Jack didn’t seem as if he had a lot of friends, so what gave Alex the right to give him one and take it away so easily? Convincing him to trust his secrets, Alex knew, was going to kill Jack if he publicly humiliated him by writing a very revealing article about him.

To: Jack Barakat [jacksetsyouonfire@yahoo.com]
From: Alex Gaskarth [alex.gaskarth@thebaltimoreledger.com]
Subject: RE: Friend!
Jack-
It is so great to hear from you again. Really, I have been waiting. How are you doing? Well, I hope. I thought about attaching a picture of myself to the email so you could get a glimpse of who you’re talking to, but decided against it.
I thought, why don’t we just meet up for coffee instead?
So, I would be highly honored if you accompanied me to coffee tomorrow morning before we both have to force ourselves into a long day of work.
How about at the Coffee Bean down the road from the ledger?
Have a good rest of the day, Barakat.
With Love,
Alex.

As Alex pressed send and practically set up his first interview for his first editorial, he realized in the pit of his stomach that some way or somehow, Jack Barakat was going to hate him within a few months from now.

And, to be completely real, it is not something that he really thought he could handle. Losing the one reader that stood by his publications and took the time to personally inform him of how amazing of a writer he was. It seemed almost inhumane.

---

Jack giggled as he read the email where Alex set up their first meeting. Yeah, Jack had thought about what it would be like to actually meet him, but the fact that he is actually going to the Coffee Bean at 8 o’clock tomorrow morning to meet his newfound friend, gave him chills.

Alexander William Gaskarth. Cute.
He pictured Alex in his mind. He pictured cute hair. A cute smile. Cute clothes. Cute everything. Jack wanted to believe that this was really real, and that he had just made his first real friend since probably 1st grade.

He wanted to believe those things. But, to be completely honest, Jack was scared that this was all just a big lie.
Alex would never do that to you… Jack thought in his mind. Would Jack do that to him? Of course not. Alex would never intentionally hurt someone.

He’s Morrie. And, Morrie helps people. He doesn’t hurt people.

---

So what if Alex was nervous? There’s nothing wrong with being a little freaked out about meeting someone new is there?
z
As he approached the little coffee shop down the street from where he worked, he could feel in the air just how hard it was going to be when he had to face Jack, knowing everything was going to be a complete lie. Knowing that Jack had no idea what was happening and why he was really there. It was almost painful for Alex to picture it.

He opened the door, and looked around the crowded room. His stomach sank when he couldn’t find Jack. But, at the same time, maybe it was for Jack if he just never met Alex at all. He could just tell his editor that he couldn’t contact him. That he wouldn’t respond to his emails.

Then he wouldn’t have to write the story and then Jack wouldn’t have to get hurt.

But then he saw him; sitting at the very back in a small booth for two, staring out the window. Alex couldn’t really see from here, but he could just feel the anxiety radiating off Jack.
He walked up slowly. Trying not to make a big ruckus over the fact that he was approaching him.
“Jack?” Alex asked, even though he already knew it was him. There was no mistaking it. Alex looked as Jack turned his head and smiled.

“Alex? Gaskarth?” Jack smiled. Alex felt his heart skip a beat with that smile. It almost made him forget why he was really here, and how Jack was going to feel about him in a few weeks.

“Yeah. That’s me.” Alex smiled to himself. This kid was going to end it all.
Alex just couldn’t admit it yet.

“Sit down! I’ll order our drinks.” Jack smiled again. The smile had yet to leave his face, and Alex didn’t think it was going to the whole time he was here.

He looked nervous. And well aware of the fact that Alex was sitting right in front of him. As Jack spoke to the young, frisky waitress, Alex took in every little thing about Jack.

He was wearing a black un-buttoned shirt with a grey v-neck underneath and his hair was surprisingly messy, but it worked for him. It looked nice.
Perfect, actually.

---

Jack felt his cheeks turn bright red as Alex complimented his hair.
This was different than he thought it would be. Better, actually. Alex was more handsome, and more intellectual, and the exact person Jack had always wanted to involve himself with.

Jack leaned over the table and whispered in Alex’s ear that he thought he looked nice and was very glad to have gotten the chance to spend time with him this morning.

“Why are you whispering, Jacko?” Alex laughed as he played with some stray sugar on the table.

Jack just giggled quietly and played with the hems of his sleeves. He looked up at Alex once again, finally getting the chance to take in everything that wasthe Alex Gaskarth. Alex was sporting a plain black v-neck with a cross necklace sitting heavily on his chest. Jack didn’t get a good chance to look at the lower half of Alex’s attire, but that didn’t matter.

“So, what do you do for fun Jack?” Alex broke the almost-awkward silence as he started to doodle in a notebook he had brought with him.

“I write a lot. More than I do anything actually.” Jack smiled. “I like the idea of creating my own world. Gives me a little bit of power.”

“I love that.” Alex smiled. Jack looked at him across the little table as he felt his cheeks inflame in bright red. “I love that we have that in common…” The more their conversations proceeded, the more intensity Jack felt between them.

“I love that, too..” Jack said with a large, bright smile spreading across his face. Jack had never had anything in common with anyone.

He was always an outcast. He was always different.

Jack wanted to sit in this coffee shop for hours and just talk to Alex. To talk about everything.

“What’s that?” Jack asked as he looked down at Alex’s notebook. He’d been writing in it ever since he arrived.

Alex just smiled and looked him. “It’s my journal. I kind of get ideas for new things at any point during the day, so I just write it down. Most of them I never use, but if I find something interesting I just write it in here to save for later.”

“I must be pretty interesting then.” Jack laughed. “You’ve been writing in it since you got here.”

“Well,” Alex replied, smiling. “You’re my most interesting idea yet.”

“Well, then, Gaskarth, write away.”