Write It Down

“Do you know what it’s like to feel like your whole world is useless? Like, when you die you’ll never be remembered?” Alex asked as he laid back in the grass, taking in the warm sun and light breeze that was blowing in the afternoon hour.

“Every day.” Jack replied as he laid his head right next to Alex’s. Today was perfection, in every definition of the word. This park, one that was probably meant for little children, had become Jack and Alex’s escape from the world today.

Their escape from themselves.

Alex’s escape from the truth.

Alex picked Jack up from his tiny house on the tiny street he lived on early that morning. It was a Thursday. They were both supposed to be at work but they just couldn’t bring themselves to physically get up and leave each other long enough to attend.
They had made plans after their first coffee date to get more, but Alex just couldn’t leave Jack.
Jack just couldn’t leave Alex.

“Sometimes, when I write, I feel like it’s not even me. I feel like I’m just wearing this mask and pretending to be someone I’m not. Which I guess is true in the fact that I can’t even give myself a byline next to my articles.”

Jack rolled over on his elbow so he could look at Alex. “You know, I’ve told you this before, but you’re the best. And one day, you’re going to get an opportunity to prove it.”

You’re my opportunity…

Alex felt a pang in his chest as he thought about the article.
”Let it go, Alex. Don’t think about that now. Alex thought to himself, not wanting to ruin this moment with Jack.

Alex sat up on his elbow so he and Jack were nearly nose to nose. “Tell me about your family, Jacko.” He said as he moved a piece of forgotten hair from Jack’s eyes.

Jack giggled at his request. “My dad died when I was nine. I don’t remember much about him, but I do know that he would always read me the funny comics in the newspaper every Sunday.” Jack paused at the memory. “And my mom works a lot, God bless her. She was supposed to retire 3 years ago, but after my dad’s death its kind of been an all work, no play thing with her.”

“No siblings?” Alex asked as he studied Jack’s features.

“Naah. I wish though, maybe I wouldn’t be so lonely all the time..”
Alex wanted to tell him that He didn’t have to be lonely because he was here now. But, he knew that would be a lie because Jack would hate him soon.
And the more he talked to Jack, the more he knew that was going to kill him.

“Come with me.” Alex whispered as he grabbed Jack’s wrist and ran with him.

“Where are we going?!”

“To NeverNeverlaaannddd!” Alex felt himself running out of breath but he couldn’t stop. He just kept running. And running. He just wanted to run away with Jack and protect him from anything that could ever hurt him.
But he also knew that he was the one doing the most damage at the moment. He also knew that no matter how much he ran, they could never get away from it.

He couldn’t stop the inevitable.

“Alex! Where are you taking me?” He heard Jack giggle as they ran up to the playground and he dragged him up the stairs to the longest, fastest slide around.

“Slide with me, Jacko.” Alex whispered as they finally stopped at the entryway of the slide. He sat down and readied himself for their first adventure together. “Sit behind me. Put your legs on both sides of my waist.” He said as Jack did what he was told. He wrapped Jack’s arms around his torso and he began a silent countdown in his head.

Five..
Four..
Three..
Two..

He pushed himself, with Jack latched tightly behind him, and they slid down the long winding slide to the bottom.

It felt like they were the only two men in the world. They found themselves lost in a reality that was new and irreplaceable. Nothing could ever make them feel this way.
Nothing except eachother.

As they reached the end of the slide, Jack wrapped his legs around Alex’s torso and nuzzled his nose into his neck.

“I feel a little more important now, Alex.” Jack whispered.

“You have no idea how important you are to me.” Alex said as he felt a tear wrap itself down his cheek. Jack was the perfect story.

Alex just didn’t want to be the one to write about him.

---

“The human body is a miracle, the way it heals. A factory of survival and self-repair. As soon as flesh is cut, cells spontaneously begin to divide and knit themselves into a protective scar. A million new organic bonds bridge the broken space, with no judgment passed on the method of injury[…] A trauma patient who’d felt only one quick tug, looked down at her severed hand and wondered whom on Earth it might belong.

Even pain can be stunned into silence by the imperative to live.”
-The Healer (Carol Cassella)