The Space Between

Jenna sighed as she watched John stomp up the stairs and Kennedy winced, "Sorry I didn't mean to say it out loud."

"Not a big deal Ken." She said calmly before following the angry boy to their room. She walked quietly to the door and watched him as he sat on the bed, placing his face into his hands with a sigh.

She didn't hesitate to walk over and sit beside him, wrapping her arms around his torso. John of course didn't dare to move and she took the silence to try and find the right words to calm him.

"I love you." She whispered and he shook his head, "I try so hard you know? I try to be what you want. To be half as good as Eric. To make you feel happy and safe and loved and I just..." He mumbled and she cut him off, "Stop it."

He looked at her and she continued, "...I love you for you just, who cares about the rest? You don't need to try. I know who you are and I love you and that's all that matters."

"Just when shit is said like that I feel like shit not because I hate being compared to him. I loved the dude, but it just makes me wonder if you secretly feel that way too."

She shook her head no, "Don't feel that way. I don't. I promise. I love you. I want to be with you."

"But you want to be with Eric more." He whispered.

"I do not."

He stifled a laugh, "You do. If he was here and regardless if you felt what you do for me you'd pick him."

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she debated on his words knowing that deep down he was right.

"If we were like we are now and he showed up, I don't know John. It wouldn't be as simple as you think. I love you." She whispered and his eyes met hers, "It just sucks when you love someone so much and they don't love you just as much. I'm not saying that you don't love me, Jenna. I know you do...just not what I feel."

"So...what are you saying?" She asked softly as her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

"I'm not leaving you baby. Relax." He answered for her as if he could read her mind. He brought his hand to her cheek and she let out a sigh of relief as she shut her eyes.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I don't want you to feel like this John..."

"It'll pass. Always does. Just shit like that reminds me."

She bit her lip and he leaned in kissing her cheek, "It's ok."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked and she cuddled to him, "About fighting with you."

He chuckled, "I didn't know we were fighting, baby."

"Felt like it."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, "Nope."

She shut her eyes as the familiar smell of him calmed her.

"Promise to never leave?" She mumbled against his shirt.

"I promise, ladybug." He whispered holding her to him tightly.

"If I didn't want to be with you John I'd tell you."

"I know, I just, over think you know?"

"Clearly."

The boy rolled his eyes and she kissed him quickly, "Can we go back downstairs before they eat everything?"

John let out a laugh, "Yeah definitely."

The day went smoothly after their chat and things seemed to stay that way for the next few days. Which really was nothing new for the pair.

John kissed her cheek as they sat on his mother's couch as the house seemed to fill with people she barely remembered. It was his brother's birthday and his family was having a gathering for him.

"You know what?" He whispered causing her to smile, "What?"

"Someone else has a birthday is coming up soon now that I think about it."

"Oh really?" She said amusingly and he nodded, "Yeah, a really pretty girl but I can't remember her name..."

"Bummer."

He chuckled and pulled her closer, "Only 4 days away."

"I was hoping you would forget."

"Why?!"

"I'm getting old."

He chuckled, "23 is not old love and on top of that you're still very, very sexy." He whispered with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes with a smile and he pecked her lips, "Either way, be prepared to celebrate."

"No."

"Yes."

She sighed and he kissed her lips once more, "Pretend to be happy about it at least. I've really worked hard on it."

"What do you mean?!"

He chuckled, "It's nothing serious, just saying."

She sighed and relaxed against the couch. He watched her with a smile knowing she was going to be overthinking everything until her birthday arrived. He had carefully planned something for her for once and he was excited for it to hurry up and arrive even if she wasn't.

"Don't worry. It just involves me and you." He said giving her knee a squeeze.

"Just me and you?"

He nodded, "Promise."

She relaxed a bit knowing she wouldn't have to worry about a potential surprise party which she would have hated. She hates surprises like that.

"And cake?" She asked causing him to laugh, "I promise there will be chocolate cake."

"Yesss." She said and he chuckled, "I swear, you may be 23 but your 12 at heart."

Sh giggled and he kissed her cheek before moving off the couch, "Be right back." She nodded and he went to the kitcen where Shane and Ross were.

"Well hello." He said and Ross rolled his eyes, "Hey."

"Look we all know you're ready to go get wasted with your friends, but you need to cheer up."John teased and Ross groaned, "Shut up."

"And let's face it." John said placing his hand on his younger brother's shoulder.

"Yes you will be going out and getting trashed, may meet a few women, but just think, when you're going home alone, I will have already had sex minus alcohol." He said making fun of his brother because lately he's sworn he would never be in a relationship and yet he had yet to bring a girl home or go home with one from his supposed wild nights out.

Ross rolled his eyes pushing John away as Shane laughed, "Oh man. That was epic."

John chuckled, "One day you may be like me, Ross."

"What? Boringly sleeping with the same person?"

"Trust me. It's far from boring."

Shane made a gagging noise causing John to laugh as he left, drink in hand.

"Can we leave?" John asked sliding his arm around Jenna as she stood talking to Kennedy.

"I mean we've been here long enough don't you think?" He asked and she chuckled, "It's up to you."

"In that case I'm going to make an executive decision and say yes." He said and kennedy laughed, "Are we going out with your brother tonight?"

"Nah." John said shaking his head.

"Yes he is. I told him he needs to." Jenna said glaring at John and Kennedy snickered, "Yeah, listen to the woman."

"I don't want to go out..."

"Who cares what you want?! It's your brother's 21st birthday!"

John rolled his eyes, "Oh come on."

"No. You're going O'Callaghan."

He groaned and removed himself from the girl, "Why are you agreeing to this? Girlfriends never agree to their boyfriends going out! What kind of girlfriend are you?"

"Apparently the cool kind you don't appreciate. You're going so stay here. I'm going to head home." She said grabbing his keys that stuck out of his pocket.

He groaned and she stepped on her toes to kiss him, "Love you. Be careful. Kennedy, he better make it home in one piece."

"Yes m'am."

"This isn't fair." John grumbled and she chuckled, "Have fun."

He mumbled an ok and she blew him a kiss before leaving the house.

"Hell, she probably wants time without you."

John rolled his eyes, "Or time to spend with your girl."

Kennedy chuckled, "She doesn't need girl time, she has you."

John punched the boy's shoulder and he moved back laughing, "Just kidding. Relax. It'll be fun."

Jenna went back to their home alone and she really didn't mind. John needed to get out. He was with her way too much. Not that she minded. She shut the door and looked around deciding what to do. She guess she could finish moving those boxes to the spare room so he wouldn't complain anymore. She headed to their room and opened the closet to grab one of the boxes covering the rather big closet floor. She began to sing softly as she carried the lightest box to the spare room and placed it in the closet. As she went back for another she heard the front door open which made her freeze until she heard her name being called, "Jenna!" Kelsey yelled and she chuckled before calling out to the girl. Not only had Kennedy and Kelsey managed to last this long, the girl had become Jenna's best friend which wasn't hard to believe because Kelsey was just like her.

"Oh what are you doing?"

"Oh John's going out with the guys so I figured I'd get some stuff done."

"Oh right. Kennedy mentioned that." She responded helping the girl pick up the last two boxes.

"What's in here?"

"I think that is photo albums."

"Oh! Can I look?"

Jenna chuckled as they entered the other room, "Sure."

They settled in the floor and Kelsey opened the box and gently grabbed an album up from the top. Jenna watched as she opened it and it wasn't long until she was lughing, "Awe. Look at my little Kenny."

Jenna laughed as her eyes met a mere 16 year old boy, "He's going to murder me."

Kelsey laughed as she flipped the page, "And John and that hair." She chuckled, "A heart breaker I can tell."

"Yeah, always has been."

"Don't tell him that."

The girls giggled as they flipped through more pictures of the boys from their high school days before picking up another album.

"Yeah that one is mostly just me and Eric I believe..." She warned and the girl shrugged opening the cover anyways.

"You two were cute." She said and Jenna smiled, "Yeah. He was something else. Wish you would have been able to meet him."

"I feel like I did simply from all of you."

Jenna chuckled, "He would appreciate that I believe."

Typical young photos covered the pages, the two of them at her prom, parties, kissing, and laughing. Memories she'd almost forgotten.

"He was hot. I will say it."

Jenna laughed, "Just know if he was here now and heard you say that he would never let it go."

Kelsey grinned, "I imagine him being like you for some reason."

"Oh no. He was loud, the life of the party and way more sociable than me."

"Well something had to be there!"

She chuckled, "We just fell in love with each other. I don't know. It just happened even though we were complete opposites." She responded her eyes falling on the picture of a smiling Eric.

"Do you still miss him?" Kelsey asked and Jenna swallowed the lump in her throat, "Yeah. I mean, I use to not go a single day without thinking of him, now, I don't know, it isnt so bad, but I do find myself missing him every now and then. Hard not to when I see something or hear something that reminds me of him. Although now it doesnt hurt so much, kind of makes me happy if that makes sense. Like little moments with him still exisit. I know I sound stupid..."

"What? No. Makes tons of sense. I couldn't imagine." She said looking back at the book.

"What is he doing to Pat?!" She asked causing Jenna to laugh, "Pat passed out one night and he ceran wrapped him to the chair!"

The girl giggled and Jenna shook her head, "Yeah, it was Eric's idea. He wasn't so sweet as he looked."

"OH man. He's great."

Jenna chuckled, "Yeah. You would have liked him. Then again, I never met a person that didn't."

"Strange to think about how it would be if he was. Ever wonder how different things would be?" Kelsey asked and she nodded, "Yeah. I mean, who knows if you would be here right now. I do believe everything happens for a reason so I try not to duwell on it, but yes, I have wondered what it would be like if he was still here."

"You wouldn't be with John."

"No. Not because I don't love him, but because if Eric was here John and I's love would have never even been thought of. I loved Eric more than anyone in this world. John is honestly the first boy I ever even looked at in years because of that."

"Well from what Kennedy said Eric basically worshipped you as well."

Jenna blushed, "Well I don't know about that but he loved me. That much I never will doubt."

"Kennedy told me that one night you two got in a fight and Eric slept out on your porch in freezing weather because he didn't want to leave without talking to you. That's deep."

Jenna laughed, "Yeah he got the flu days later from that too."

"And did you take care of him?"

"Well yeah. We never stayed mad at each other for too long. Just wasn't something we did. We would fight and make up within the same ten minutes."

She chuckled, "That's true love."

Jenna nodded with a smile as the pictures turned into their last year together.

"You looked so happy. Not that you're not now. Just can't believe that you two still looked like this years into it."

Jenna chuckled, "Yeah I guess it's odd. I dunno, it's all I knew." She responded looking at the last picture of the two. Eic's arms wrapped tightly around her from behind and his lips on her cheek as she laughed.

"Can we not take a serious picture?!" Jenna asked and Eric chuckled, "What's the fun in that?"

She rolled her eyes and he grinned, "Ok. Fine. I'll fucking take one."

"Watch your mouth, Halvo."

He chuckled, "It's just you and me."

"So what?!"

He pulled her to him and smiled, "Fine, I'll take another picture with you."

"Better"

He chuckled as she held up the camera and he smiled for her without doing anything stupid. She grinned as she looked at the picture on the screen and he kissed her cheek, "I love you."

"Love you too. Thanks for taking a good picture."

He laughed, "Oh it's the least I can do."

She smiled and threw her arms around his neck. He touched his nose to hers and shut his eyes, "I'll try to watch my choice of words ok?"

She chuckled, "I was kidding."

"No, I do have a bad mouth most times. Plus, I don't want our future children going to school saying the F word and telling them daddy said it. Should kick the habit now why I'm ahead."

She laughed, "You mean our child?"

"Ha, no our children. Look at me. You don't want our child to be like this!"

She giggled and a smile hit her lips, "Yes I do."

He brought his hand to her cheek, "Yeah, but they'll be better having a sibling."

"If you say so."

"I do. I say 3 or 4."

"You don't have to have them!"

"Fine! 3!"

She laughed and he kissed her cheek, "Let's try to make one now." He mumbled scooping her up and she laughed once more, "Eric!"

He chuckled carrying her to his room. He laid her on the bed and she stared up at him.

"I say we have has many as it takes to have a little boy that looks like you."

"You can't have favoritism over our children!"

She giggled as he smiled down at her, "I can."

"Can not. Maybe you should just have me to yourself a little longer before we do that."

"That's fine with me."

He grinned and kissed her softly, "Me too, but just so we're clear. Whenever you're ready to start our future I am too."

"We can't have babies out of wedlock Eric!"

He chuckled, "Don't worry. It'll happen."

Jenna shook her head with a grin before flipping the page. It was odd how she could forget, but with one look of a picture she could remember everything. The way he smelled, what they were discussing. Everything. Just now that time had passed it was easier to do so which she didn't mind. If anything, it helped her to move on.