The Space Between

John sighed as he took a sip of his beer.

It was odd really...how he didn't realize he wasn't into partying anymore until now. He hated to admit that he would be happier cuddled up with Jenna watching movies then being in a bar right now.

"John, you've had that same beer for an hour." Kennedy stated boringly and he shrugged, "So?"

"You've become boring!" Pat yelled and John rolled his eyes, "Have not, just not had the urge to go out lately."

"Too busy being Stuck up Jenna's ass." Shane stated with a smirk.

"What's so sad about it is it's not her. She basically made him come tonight." Kennedy chimed in again and John rolled his eyes.

"I mean, he has the perfect girlfriend and he's not even taking advantage of it!"

"Exactly. I have the perfect girlfriend and I'd rather be with her than you idiots." John said glaring at his brother.

"Well that makes no sense. Eric still partied with us when he was with her." Shane said calmly and Kennedy decided to shut his mouth. Kennedy knew it wasn't that John didn't like Eric being brought up, it was that he hated his relationship with Jenna being compared to Eric and her relationship and to be fair, he knew they were completely different.

John looked like he wanted to jump over the table. Instead he downed the rest of his beer and slammed it onto the table.

"I'm leaving." He stated before standing up grabbing his leather jacket off the chair.

Kenned shot Shane a look who rolled his eyes, "Go ahead."

"Trust me, when you get back home I'm going to break your fucking face so talk all the shit you want." John said glaring at the boy. Kennedy shrugged at Shane who seemed too scared to speak.

"Dude, how are you getting home?" Pat asked and John shrugged sticking a cigarette between his lips so he could slide his jacket on.

"I'm going to call Jenna." He said before throwing up his hand up to say goodbye and walking quickly outside. He sighed as the fresh, cold air hit him. He leaned against the wall in relief as he lit his cigarette. He honestly hated how easy it was to get under his skin now. The meer mention of his relationship being like Eric's, pissed him off beyond belief and he didn't know why. Maybe because he was scared of everyone realizing Eric was better with Jenna than he was. He breathed in deeply before fiddling for his phone and dialing Jenna's number. It only took two rings before she answered.

"Hello?" She said softly into the phone making his stomach turn instantly.

"Hey ladybug, what are you doing?"

Jenna chuckled, "Sitting here with Kelsey and what are you doing calling me?"

He sighed into the phone after taking a draw from his cigarette, "Shane and I got into an argument and yeah, will you come get me?"

"Sure." She responded as Kelsey yelled in the back about Kennedy.

"Thanks, baby and yes, I'll even try and get Ken to come."

She laughed, "I'm sure Kelsey would appreciate that."

He chuckled, "See you in a minute."

"Ok, be careful. Love you."

John hung up throwing down his cigarette before stepping back into the loud bar to find Kennedy. He of course found them still at the table.

"Your girl is coming with Jenna to get me. Want to come?"

Kennedy looked down at his drink and then back up at the boy waiting for an answer.

"Don't you dare!" Garrett shouted over the table and Kennedy groaned.

"Look, she's on her way so you have ten minutes." John stated boringly and Kennedy sighed as Garrett spoke, "Dude! Don't be such a pansy!"

"This coming from someone who doesn't have a girlfriend." Jared chuckled and Garrett glared at him.

"Yeah I'm going. I mean, well I don't have to explain myself." Kennedy said moving from the table.

Garrett groaned as Jared laughed, "Go on and get laid Kennedy and think about how miserable Garrett is since he is going home alone."

"Shut up!"

John chuckled as he left the table once more not sure if Kennedy was following or not. Once outside he shoved his hands in his pockets as his mind wondered. It wasn't long after that Kennedy joined him and without saying a word leaned against the wall beside him.

"Dude, what have we become?" John asked chuckling and Kennedy laughed, "I don't know, man. Guess we have become those idiots we use to make fun of that fell in love and stopped being fun."

"Fuck that is us..."

Kennedy laughed, "Oh well. Haters."

John chuckled as Jenna's car pulled up and he hurriedly got in feeling the cold seep into his bones.

"Hey baby." He breathed, rubbing his hands together before leaning over and kissing her lips.

"Hi."

He gave her a grin as Kennedy shut the back door.

"So what happened?" Jenna asked once they started the drive.

John sighed, "Just Shane being Shane."

"Just Shane comparing him to Eric." Kennedy stated and the car grew quiet. John grasped the handle on the door tightly as he stared out the window trying to act like it doesn't bother him as much as it did.

"But you two are nothing alike." Kelsey finally spoke even though she only knew Eric from what they told her.

"Apparently that is the problem." John stated not daring to move his eyes from the darkness out the window.

The ride to Kennedy's was silent and John barely heard Kelsey say she would pick her car up tomorrow before they said goodnight and hopped out. Jenna glanced over at the boy as he relaxed his head on the window. She boldly grabbed his hand as she drove to their home.

"What's wrong?" She finally asked as they parked and he shook his head, "Nothing, just tired." He whispered and she sighed as he let go of her hand and climbed from the car. She wouldn't give up that easy.

"Why do you let them get to you?" She asked following him inside where he pulled off his jacket and threw it on the couch.

He stifled a laugh, "Easy for you to say. I don't have a dead girlfriend that I was meant to be with."

She crossed her arms as she stared at him silently. He let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

"It still makes no sense why it was him. I know that. I get that. Maybe it should have been me. I don't know. Either way, they're right. I'm not him. And maybe I'll never be good enough like he was, but must it always be thrown in my face at how much better he was at being with you or how much cooler, or funnier, or smarter he was?! I mean, fuck! I can't bring him back! I can't be like him just because everyone misses him!" John said raising his voice. Not in anger at her but his frustration was getting the best of him.

"I'm just sick of it." He added in a grumble and she nodded, "I know. I'm sorry." She whispered and his eyes moved to hers now feeling a bit guilty, "No, I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to take that out on you."

"No, it's ok."

He stepped to her placing his arm gently around her waist as he used his free hand to brush her hair back, "I love you."

"Love you too." She mumbled burying her face against his chest, "Also, don't listen to anyone. You're amazing and perfect and I love you."

John chuckled holding her to him, "I'll remember that, love."

"I don't want you to be Eric. I want you to be you and only you."

He grinned although her face was buried into his shirt.

"Thanks ladybug." He whispered and she raised up to look at him, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"So, now that you're night of fun is ruined what do you want to do?"

"It was not ruined. I honestly wanted to be with you instead. That whole Shane thing just gave me a real reason to leave."

"Ah I see, well what do you say we just watch a movie?"

"I say that's a grand idea." He responded with a grin and she grabbed his hand pulling him to the couch. He kicked of his shoes and she settled beside him, cuddling into his side.

"Just so we're clear, I wouldn't have minded if you stayed out, but I'm glad you're back." She whispered and he glanced down at her. The way she still made his heart race was hard to understand, but he was glad she still had that effect on him. He couldn't help but hope it was the same for her.

"Well just so we're clear, I'd prefer being with you over anything."

She raised up to kiss him and he grinned as she shifted to get comfortable. She placed her legs over his lap and relaxed her head against his arm.

"I love you." She whispered shutting her eyes as the smell of him filled her nose, "I don't want you to leave." She mumbled knowing in less than a month he would be going on tour. She aready knew it was happening but none the less she wasn't ready.

"I told you several times you could come with us." He stated his fingers tracing her forearm.

"I know, but I can't. I have school."

"We will figure it out. Everything will be ok." He whispered pressing his lips to her head.

"I know, I just, don't want to go months without you."

He brought his hand to her chin, making her look up at him.

"We won't. Trust me. I can't do that either. I'd go insane without you for that long."

She nodded before looking at the television screen as the room grew silent. He linked their fingers as his eyes wondered to their hands. The fact that she truly felt that way made him oddly happy. He got lost in thought for a while until he realized she was asleep. He gently scooped her up and carried her to their bed. She mumbled something and he chuckled as he covered her up and kissed her forehead, "Love you baby."

John quietly left the room not really feeling tired so he grabbed his laptop on his way out of the room and decided to go relax in the spare room. He walked in and sat his computer on the bed as he noticed the floor was cluttered with photo albums. He sighed and began picking them up only to stop when a picture of Eric and Kennedy fell from one. He stared at the photo before sitting on his knees to find the spot the photo fell from. As he flipped through the pages he chuckled at a few memories. His happiness coming to a halt once he landed on a page of Eric and Jenna. He couldn't help it. The way they looked in the pictures made him wonder if him and her looked that way. He regretted to admit he was sure they didn't. He didn't believe they'd ever look like that. He didn't know if it was because Eric brought out the best of everyone or because Jenna was so in love. He sighed sliding the missing picture into the slot. He hated being envious of Eric. Espcially when there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to bring him back. He would give up everything to have him back. Well, at least that's what he thought when it happened, but now, he hated to admit, that he was unsure if he'd give up Jenna and he hated himself for that. A part of him felt horrible and guilty for even thinking it through, but when you love someone so much he assumed there wasn't much you wouldn't do to keep that person...or maybe that was just him being selfish.