The Space Between

For the first time in forever Jenna didn't know what to do with herself. She sat on the couch in silence as her mind raced with ideas. She didn't have work today and her schooling didn't start for another week. Kelsey was here which she was thankful for, but she was at work at the moment. Jenna forced herself up and to the shower. She would get ready for the day and go from there.

As she got ready she turned her ipod on trying stop the boredom that was now occupying her. As she put on her mascara, her arm and heart came to a stop as Rocket to the moon filled her ears. A grin hit her lips at the song that once made her cry. That's what she would do. She would go see Eric. It had been forever since she visited his grave and she felt a bit bad about it now.

Once she was finished she grabbed her keys up and made the drive to the grave site which really was only a few miles away. She parked her car and breathed in deeply before walking the short distance to the still unfamiliar place. It would be different if it was lively and warm like Eric, but all she felt being here was a cold, weird feeling. She breathed in once more as she crossed her legs, sitting in front of the tomb.

"I'm sorry it's been forever." She whispered as she studied her fingers running over the blades of grass.

"It's just hard to come here you know? I don't like to remember you like this. I like remembering you when you were happy and smiling and laughing all the time. That was you. Not this." She added and she brushed away the leaves gathering on the stone.

"Besides that, you would be happy to know I'm back in school. John and I are doing well, we moved in together. I like to hope you'd approve of us anyways. You knew him better than anyone so you know how amazing he is." She whispered placing her hands back in her lap.

"I'm slowly getting my life back in place and in a way that scares me simply because I'm afraid I will forget the little things about you. Maybe that sounds stupid, I don't know...I know you'd understand though. You always did. One thing I loved about you. Then again there wasn't much I didn't love about you." She said stifling a laugh as she looked down at her hands.

"I'm pretty certain there wasn't anything he didn't love about you, Jenna." Jenna heard and her head jerked up instantly, her eyes locking with Eric's mother of all people.

Mrs. Halvorsen gave her a smile before sitting beside her in the grass. The woman still looked as she remembered. She always mananged to look younger than she was. Her hair as dark as Eric's and she hated looking into her eyes because it was like Eric was there.

"Actually pretty nice seeing you, it's been too long." Mrs. Halvorsen said and the girl looked back at the ground a bit shameful, "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be. You have a life. You were with my son, not me."

"Yeah, but you guys were my family too."

"Yes and we always will be. So you take all the time you need." The woman said sweetly and Jenna felt her eyes tear up.

"I just, didn't know what I would say, or how to say it. I don't know..plus, the whole John thing. I didn't want you guys to hate me."

"Jenna, why would we hate you? We never expected you to be alone forever just because Eric wasn't here. How fair would that be? Plus, John is an amazing guy. Eric loved him and I know if he could have picked someone for you before he left he would have picked him. That I'm certain of."

Jenna nodded with a weak grin as she wiped her tears. Mrs. Halvorsen smiled, "It's kind of ironic that you're here."

Jenna gave her a questionable look as the woman begun to dig into her purse.

"I was debating on driving by to give you this, I just didn't know if you would want it or not..."

Jenna stared at her suspeciously as she pulled out a small box.

"I don't know what else to do with it."

Jenna stared at the box that was in her hand. Her breathing uneven as she forced herself to open it.

"Two days before the accident Eric came to me and said, mom, I'm going to do it..of course when he says something like that I worry and have to question it."

Jenna choked out a laugh and his mom grinned, "Then he was like mom, I don't mean anything bad. I'm going to ask Jenna to marry me. He seemed so sure of himself. Of course I cried and he had to calm me and I remember him saying, mom it's going to be alright. Nothing's changing except it will be official. Of course, not that I didn't think it was the right decision, I just had to make sure he was certain and he laughed once I asked, and he said, of course I am. Jenna completes me. She is my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. It's been 7 years, mom. Nothing is going to change my mind. She was meant for me. I truly believe that...I then told him that should be his wedding vowel and he ran off to write it down."

Jenna laughed through her tears and his mom grasped her arm to comfort her.

"He loved you, Jenna. He wanted to spend his life with you and knowing that you wanted the same thing means so much to me. To know he was as loved as much as he loved is an amazing feeling as a mother and for that I thank you for giving him his best years and I will always be here for you in return."

Jenna was now sobbing as his mother embraced her. The ring box still sat in Jenna's lap. Mrs. Halvorsen kissed her head before standing from the ground.

"Of course he apparently knew you'd say yes." The woman said with a smile as she laid a letter in her lap.

"See you soon." She spoke before walking away, leaving Jenna and her aching heart. She forced her tears away and opened the envelope to see Eric's messy hand writing covering the paper. The words he had spoken to his mother were written about plus more he had scratched threw and rewritten several times. A smile hit her lips as she read what she could and she glance down at the ring before placing it on her finger. It was perfect. He was perfect. Why couldn't it stay?

She forced her self from the ground as she grabbed up her things. She breathed in as she stared at the stone.

"I would have said yes just so you know." She said with a weak grin before forcing herself to the car. She did not expect any of that to happen when she stopped by that was for certain.

John paced the small bus as he tried to call Jenna for the third time. Their first show had ended two hours ago and he had yet to speak with her. He hadn't in fact since he left and now he was making himself mental.

"Maybe she's with Kelsey. Relax." Garrett said trying to calm the worried man who shook his head in response, "No. I've texted her and everything. Where the fuck could she be? Maybe I should see if Ross will go check on her."

"Really dude? Imagine how mad she'd be."

He sighed and fell onto the couch in exhaustion. His phone rang once he shut his eyes and he shot up immediately as he placed it to his ear.

"Hello?!"

"John, sorry. I've been asleep." The soft spoken girl said causing him to sigh in relief as he walked to his bunk, "Jesus Jenna. You scared the shit out of me. Why are you asleep? Isn't it a bit early?" He asked climbing onto his bed and the girl sighed, "Yeah just had a rough day."

John froze at her words and had to force himself to speak, "What happened?"

"Oh, just ran into Mrs. Halvorsen."

The line grew quiet as he tried to come up with something to respond with.

"She gave me some things she found..."

"Oh. Like what?" He asked and Jenna breathed in, "Like an engagement ring."

John's heart fell into his stomach immediately and all he managed to respond with was 'oh'.

"Yeah, so crying all day because your gone and that happening has been fun."

John bit his bottom lip as he stared blankly at the top of the bunk. He honestly didn't know what to feel or say at this point.

"I miss you." She spoke bringing him back to reality and he sighed, "I miss you too ladybug." He finally said trying not to sound as worried as he was. The couple talked for a while before he finally told her goodnight and they hung up. He forced himself from the bunk to the back where everyone had camped out.

He sat beside Kennedy who gave him a questionable look, "Get a hold of Jenna?"

The boy nodded which led Kennedy to ask what was wrong.

"I think this tour will be a good thing for us. She hasn't even been alone since Eric passed and maybe that's what she needs. I still feel second best to her and you don't understand how that feels." John said placing his face in his hands.

"So what? You're breaking up with her?" Kennedy asked lowly so Garrett wouldn't go all crazy on the boy.

"No, just, we don't need to see each other or talk as much. She's so dependent on me and I can't say I don't add on to it because I want nothing more than to be there for her, but it's not healthy. She needs to sort out her issues. She needs to realize she misses me for all the right reasons not the wrong." John said and Kennedy shrugged, "Well how do you plan to tell her this?"

"I don't know really..." John hadn't really thought it out that much and although it would kill him, he knew he had to go through with it.

"Do you want to be with her?" The boy questioned and John nodded immediately, "Yes. Of course. I love her. I just want her to be the Jenna I fell in love with. I want her to love me like I love her. I just feel like she doesn't really know who she is without me or Eric and I think it would be good for her."

"I agree, but you don't want to hurt her feelings."

"I know." John responded as he leaned back in his seat.

Was there an easy way to put space between them if he himself didn't want to? He was certain she wouldn't take it like he wanted her to if he just said what he felt, and he sure as hell couldn't risk loosing her. He had to come up with something soon that was for sure.