Yesterday.
In My Life.
I sighed deeply, my eyes darting slowly from John to the floor. He was my best friend, but this time, I didn’t have any clue what to do. John went back to sobbing uncontrollably into his knees, his shoulders shaking painfully. I wanted to console him, to tell him that everything was alright, and to shake it all off, but I couldn’t find the right words.
“Johnny.” My deep voice finally pushed out, “Paul’s being an undeserving wank. All bite, no brains. Well, if he has any thing upstairs, it’s not working at the moment.”
John didn’t look up, much to my horror, and kept on sobbing. Was anything I was going to say make it alright? No, probably not.
“Johnny.” I repeated, my voice a little more stern this time, my shoulders rising with confidence. I was going to make this better, I was, “You’re the mature one, just have pride in that.”
“I don’t care about FUCKING McCartney!” He yelled, his bloodshot eyes shooting up to mine and burning a hole in my head. I flinched, and he breathed deeply, closing his eyes, “It’s not him. I couldn’t give a flying” -hiccup-“fuck about that worthless cunt. It’s just the fact that she doesn’t love me. My entire life, no one’s ever loved me, Rings! Me mum, she didn’t love me. Me Da’ definitely didn’t love me, Mimi never loved me, Stu never loved me,” His voice was slurred as he held back the next explosion of tears, and he was getting drunk off of his own depression. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I love you, Johnny.” I sighed, “So does George, and so does Paul, though he might not have the balls to admit it right now.”
“To hell with his balls… he may not have any when I’m through with him…” John tried to stand up, but I put a firm hand on his chest, holding him down.
“No, John. We need to work this problem out first, before you take your life’s angst out on your soul mate.”
“That… that…” He looked up to the ceiling in utter fury, “Worthless piece of shit is not my soul mate, has never been my soul mate, and will never be my soul mate.” He sniffed, and I sighed deeply. I stared meaningfully directly into his eyes, before he shuttered his shoulders and crunched back into a small ball, a sign of defeat.
“Be sensible.” I grumbled, at loss for words, “Why is this being blown out of proportion by a girl? A simple, young, little, naïve, girl?”
A flame flickered in his eyes, before his sour glance towards the floor fell upon me.
“You listen to me,” He lurched forward, grabbing my tie and shoving me against a wall, “She’s not a girl. She’s… she’s…” He let go of me, and I plopped back a couple inches onto the ground. His eyes blurred, but his hand stayed frozen in the exact place it had been when it was holding me up, he was shaking, “She’s a girl.” He repeated, nodding his head, “But she’s an angel. She doesn’t deserve me, Paul was right, she deserves him. She deserves everything he can give her. He won’t hurt her, he won’t hit her, he’ll make her rich, he’ll give her everything she ever needs. No, she doesn’t need what I can give her. Pain and betrayal, that’s what I can give her. She needs protection, Paul can do that. I don’t think I can. I…” He stopped, and my mouth fell open. This wasn’t like John at all.
He never gave up on anything, anything at all. Especially not birds. Either they were a whore, or they did something hurtful to him, but he basically never gave up on them. I couldn’t fancy a reason why. This was a new John, but behind his eyes, I could still see the years and years of pain piled up, and just a new layer added. I’d always been able to see it, though I knew that George might not be able to. I know Paul does, he uses it against him sometimes. I would never…
“John.” Was all I could say, but he shook his head, standing up abruptly, and walking out. I followed, flattening my hair was we walked out into the main part of the plane. Everyone started staring at us. John didn’t look up. His head was directly down, staring at the floor, his esteem deflated. He sat in the back of the plane, far away from Paul, and pressed his forehead against the window, his chocolate eyes staring blankly down into the mist. I sat next to him, and looked down.
“Johnny.” My deep voice finally pushed out, “Paul’s being an undeserving wank. All bite, no brains. Well, if he has any thing upstairs, it’s not working at the moment.”
John didn’t look up, much to my horror, and kept on sobbing. Was anything I was going to say make it alright? No, probably not.
“Johnny.” I repeated, my voice a little more stern this time, my shoulders rising with confidence. I was going to make this better, I was, “You’re the mature one, just have pride in that.”
“I don’t care about FUCKING McCartney!” He yelled, his bloodshot eyes shooting up to mine and burning a hole in my head. I flinched, and he breathed deeply, closing his eyes, “It’s not him. I couldn’t give a flying” -hiccup-“fuck about that worthless cunt. It’s just the fact that she doesn’t love me. My entire life, no one’s ever loved me, Rings! Me mum, she didn’t love me. Me Da’ definitely didn’t love me, Mimi never loved me, Stu never loved me,” His voice was slurred as he held back the next explosion of tears, and he was getting drunk off of his own depression. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I love you, Johnny.” I sighed, “So does George, and so does Paul, though he might not have the balls to admit it right now.”
“To hell with his balls… he may not have any when I’m through with him…” John tried to stand up, but I put a firm hand on his chest, holding him down.
“No, John. We need to work this problem out first, before you take your life’s angst out on your soul mate.”
“That… that…” He looked up to the ceiling in utter fury, “Worthless piece of shit is not my soul mate, has never been my soul mate, and will never be my soul mate.” He sniffed, and I sighed deeply. I stared meaningfully directly into his eyes, before he shuttered his shoulders and crunched back into a small ball, a sign of defeat.
“Be sensible.” I grumbled, at loss for words, “Why is this being blown out of proportion by a girl? A simple, young, little, naïve, girl?”
A flame flickered in his eyes, before his sour glance towards the floor fell upon me.
“You listen to me,” He lurched forward, grabbing my tie and shoving me against a wall, “She’s not a girl. She’s… she’s…” He let go of me, and I plopped back a couple inches onto the ground. His eyes blurred, but his hand stayed frozen in the exact place it had been when it was holding me up, he was shaking, “She’s a girl.” He repeated, nodding his head, “But she’s an angel. She doesn’t deserve me, Paul was right, she deserves him. She deserves everything he can give her. He won’t hurt her, he won’t hit her, he’ll make her rich, he’ll give her everything she ever needs. No, she doesn’t need what I can give her. Pain and betrayal, that’s what I can give her. She needs protection, Paul can do that. I don’t think I can. I…” He stopped, and my mouth fell open. This wasn’t like John at all.
He never gave up on anything, anything at all. Especially not birds. Either they were a whore, or they did something hurtful to him, but he basically never gave up on them. I couldn’t fancy a reason why. This was a new John, but behind his eyes, I could still see the years and years of pain piled up, and just a new layer added. I’d always been able to see it, though I knew that George might not be able to. I know Paul does, he uses it against him sometimes. I would never…
“John.” Was all I could say, but he shook his head, standing up abruptly, and walking out. I followed, flattening my hair was we walked out into the main part of the plane. Everyone started staring at us. John didn’t look up. His head was directly down, staring at the floor, his esteem deflated. He sat in the back of the plane, far away from Paul, and pressed his forehead against the window, his chocolate eyes staring blankly down into the mist. I sat next to him, and looked down.
♠ ♠ ♠
Finally, one from Ringo's point of view! A George chapter will soon follow, I promise<3