Pretty Insanity
4/27/2013
It is 12:36 AM on a Friday night, or I guess technically Saturday morning. The empty and lonely state of depression keeping me awake. I've had a rough past few weeks. I'd like to start off by talking about someone else's depression, rather than my own.
Somebody, my cousin actually, who is basically like my sister, has suffered from and dealt with Anorexia for a while now. A while meaning about four years. Although there are many reasons she could have developed this disease, it doesn't need a reason or justification. Recently, my beautiful eighteen year old cousin has gotten worse than she's ever been. Here's the summarized story:
One day, my cousin, let's call her E, sat with her sister and talked about life and said some concerning things that her sister, K, took as suicidal thoughts. While E just thought she was having an intellectual conversation about the way she truly felt about life. Prior to this incident, E's Anorexia had gotten pretty bad. And as we all now, when you are not eating you tend to become a little delusional. So after E's expression of "suicidal thoughts" the cops were called and E was taken from her home. She was then returned to her home after that. Essentially I think E was trying to take her life in the form of Anorexia. With the combination of Anorexia, delusional thoughts and hallucinations, E stated that she was going to have one last meal with all of her friends before she would resurrect on Easter like Jesus. I found out on the morning of Easter that my beloved cousin had collapsed due to her severe Anorexia and was taken to the hospital. Here comes the crazy part. Since E is eighteen years of age, she was able to release herself because she doesn't think anything is wrong with her. Then "they" meaning concerned family members and doctors decided to put a seventy-two hour hold on her at the hospital. That means that not even her parents could release her. While in the hospital the psychiatrist said that the damage she has done to her body and mind could partly be permanent. She is now out of the hospital and back to her normal life. Her parents are keeping a better eye on her which is good considering she was left to do whatever the fuck she wanted to before. I talked to her briefly and asked how she was and her response was "I'm great!". She is now lying even to herself. I have been the person that she has talked to about depression and self harm and multiple other things. Now I have sit back and let her live her life the way she wants to. There is nothing I can do and it feels horrible feeling like you're helpless. I wish I could just hold her and tell her how beautiful she is and she would believe me. What do you do when the person you love is hurting themselves?
Somebody, my cousin actually, who is basically like my sister, has suffered from and dealt with Anorexia for a while now. A while meaning about four years. Although there are many reasons she could have developed this disease, it doesn't need a reason or justification. Recently, my beautiful eighteen year old cousin has gotten worse than she's ever been. Here's the summarized story:
One day, my cousin, let's call her E, sat with her sister and talked about life and said some concerning things that her sister, K, took as suicidal thoughts. While E just thought she was having an intellectual conversation about the way she truly felt about life. Prior to this incident, E's Anorexia had gotten pretty bad. And as we all now, when you are not eating you tend to become a little delusional. So after E's expression of "suicidal thoughts" the cops were called and E was taken from her home. She was then returned to her home after that. Essentially I think E was trying to take her life in the form of Anorexia. With the combination of Anorexia, delusional thoughts and hallucinations, E stated that she was going to have one last meal with all of her friends before she would resurrect on Easter like Jesus. I found out on the morning of Easter that my beloved cousin had collapsed due to her severe Anorexia and was taken to the hospital. Here comes the crazy part. Since E is eighteen years of age, she was able to release herself because she doesn't think anything is wrong with her. Then "they" meaning concerned family members and doctors decided to put a seventy-two hour hold on her at the hospital. That means that not even her parents could release her. While in the hospital the psychiatrist said that the damage she has done to her body and mind could partly be permanent. She is now out of the hospital and back to her normal life. Her parents are keeping a better eye on her which is good considering she was left to do whatever the fuck she wanted to before. I talked to her briefly and asked how she was and her response was "I'm great!". She is now lying even to herself. I have been the person that she has talked to about depression and self harm and multiple other things. Now I have sit back and let her live her life the way she wants to. There is nothing I can do and it feels horrible feeling like you're helpless. I wish I could just hold her and tell her how beautiful she is and she would believe me. What do you do when the person you love is hurting themselves?
♠ ♠ ♠
Thank you for reading. I appreciate comments. -Ky