To Me You Are My Life, My Soul Companion
Contemplated Suicide
*Brian's POV*
My body was shaking. I couldn't look away from Sam's dead body. She left me again and this time she couldn't ever come back. I knew that the doctors wouldn't understand how I felt right now and would probably attack me with paperwork, so I had to get out of here before I do something I might regret.
I ran through the halls of the hospital until I was finally outside. The air around me, although it was about 60 degrees outside, still felt freezing to me. My cell phone started ringing all of the sudden. "Dude, how is she?" Matt demanded.
I gripped the phone hard and replied, "She. . .she's dead."
I could barely bring myself to say that. There was silence on the other side until he finally said, ". . .shit, I guess we'll meet you at the house then," and then he hung up.
He sounded a bit shaken up too. I wasn't too sure if I was in such a good condition to be driving, but I got in the car anyway and sped all the way back to the house.
I pushed the front door open and ran upstairs to our room. Looking around, it just felt like she was away on a trip or something and would be coming home in a couple days. But obviously that wasn't the case.
I felt like I was going to be sick. I went into the bathroom, just in case, and leaned against the cabinet. I suddenly noticed a bunch of dried blood splattered all along the side. That was from that night in August. . .that was when I-I did that to Sam. I was the one who made her bleed, who made her hurt. I was the one who drove her away and I was the one who caused her death. Maybe I would just be better off if I was dead too, then at least we could be together again.
No, there was no doubt about it...I had to do it. I went downstairs into the basement and saw Matt's 35mm gun in a glass case above one of the doors. I never actually thought that I would use this gun, but then again, I never thought that Sam would have died right before my eyes.
I checked to see if there were bullets inside, and to my surprise, there was. I pulled the trigger in place and held the gun straight against my skull. This was it. . .this is the only way I can see Sam again.
*Zacky's POV*
We were on our way over to the hospital. Sam had just called Brian telling him to hurry over. I knew that we should have just stayed there with her. Matt was wondering why Brian hasn't at least called us to let us know what was happening, so he decided to call Brian.
"Dude, how is she?" he asked. Brian said something and then Matt went completely silent, like he didn't know what to say that alone told all of us what had happened. ". . .shit, I guess we'll meet you at the house then," he said quietly and then hung up the phone.
Then he suddenly did a huge U-turn in the middle of the intersection and headed back to the house speeding all the way. He pulled into the driveway and we saw that Brian's car was already here and the front door was left ajar. What would Brian be doing that he couldn't even close the door?
I had a really bad feeling about all of this, so I ran inside first and saw that the basement door was open, so I went down there first. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "Brian, what the hell are you doing?! Put down that gun!" I shouted as I ran over to him.
His eyes held pure sorrow and I knew that he was extremely depressed, but I never would have thought that he would do any of this. I put my hand on the gun and tried to lower it or move it from his head, but his grip was firm. "Don't do this, dude, it's not going to help anything! It's not going to bring Sam back and it's not going to make you feel any better."
He turned toward me, the gun still in position, and said, "No, you're wrong. I was the one who hurt her more than anyone else. Do you remember that blood we found in the bathroom that day she disappeared? It was because of me. I was pissed off for whatever reason and well, I took it out on her. . .physically. I hadn't told anybody that before."
My eyes got big. Did he really beat her up that night?! I guess that could easily explain why she never came back for such a long time. "Uh, yeah, but she forgave you for that, remember? Hell, even you said that by proposing to her that would erase any of the bad memories!"
"Well I was wrong!" he yelled, "I was the one who caused her to run away, I was the one who caused her to be killed anyway you look at it, it was all because of me."
"That doesn't make any sense. You're totally going against everything that you've told Sam, everything you said that night in Detroit! We're all totally sad that Sam died, but there's nothing that we can do anymore. We all miss her, but Brian, you can't just go blaming yourself as an excuse to blow your brains out. It's not what she would have wanted."
I could tell that that last sentence had some kind of impact on him. He lowered the gun a little at first, and then finally let it fall to the ground. "I think your right. . .but what the hell am I supposed to do?! I just got her back with me, we were going to get married, and now she's gone for good. . .and I don't even know if I can move on!" he said.
"All I can say right now, I guess, is that we're all here for you if you ever need help because I know this is gonna be the hardest on you." He nodded and went over to the couch and immediately laid down.
"Thanks, Zacky, I think you may have just saved my life," he said and then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
I breathed a sigh of relief. But then I got a little sad, because what he just said reminded me of when I first met Sam at Hot Topic when she was my 'life saver' and got me the new shirt.
My body was shaking. I couldn't look away from Sam's dead body. She left me again and this time she couldn't ever come back. I knew that the doctors wouldn't understand how I felt right now and would probably attack me with paperwork, so I had to get out of here before I do something I might regret.
I ran through the halls of the hospital until I was finally outside. The air around me, although it was about 60 degrees outside, still felt freezing to me. My cell phone started ringing all of the sudden. "Dude, how is she?" Matt demanded.
I gripped the phone hard and replied, "She. . .she's dead."
I could barely bring myself to say that. There was silence on the other side until he finally said, ". . .shit, I guess we'll meet you at the house then," and then he hung up.
He sounded a bit shaken up too. I wasn't too sure if I was in such a good condition to be driving, but I got in the car anyway and sped all the way back to the house.
I pushed the front door open and ran upstairs to our room. Looking around, it just felt like she was away on a trip or something and would be coming home in a couple days. But obviously that wasn't the case.
I felt like I was going to be sick. I went into the bathroom, just in case, and leaned against the cabinet. I suddenly noticed a bunch of dried blood splattered all along the side. That was from that night in August. . .that was when I-I did that to Sam. I was the one who made her bleed, who made her hurt. I was the one who drove her away and I was the one who caused her death. Maybe I would just be better off if I was dead too, then at least we could be together again.
No, there was no doubt about it...I had to do it. I went downstairs into the basement and saw Matt's 35mm gun in a glass case above one of the doors. I never actually thought that I would use this gun, but then again, I never thought that Sam would have died right before my eyes.
I checked to see if there were bullets inside, and to my surprise, there was. I pulled the trigger in place and held the gun straight against my skull. This was it. . .this is the only way I can see Sam again.
*Zacky's POV*
We were on our way over to the hospital. Sam had just called Brian telling him to hurry over. I knew that we should have just stayed there with her. Matt was wondering why Brian hasn't at least called us to let us know what was happening, so he decided to call Brian.
"Dude, how is she?" he asked. Brian said something and then Matt went completely silent, like he didn't know what to say that alone told all of us what had happened. ". . .shit, I guess we'll meet you at the house then," he said quietly and then hung up the phone.
Then he suddenly did a huge U-turn in the middle of the intersection and headed back to the house speeding all the way. He pulled into the driveway and we saw that Brian's car was already here and the front door was left ajar. What would Brian be doing that he couldn't even close the door?
I had a really bad feeling about all of this, so I ran inside first and saw that the basement door was open, so I went down there first. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "Brian, what the hell are you doing?! Put down that gun!" I shouted as I ran over to him.
His eyes held pure sorrow and I knew that he was extremely depressed, but I never would have thought that he would do any of this. I put my hand on the gun and tried to lower it or move it from his head, but his grip was firm. "Don't do this, dude, it's not going to help anything! It's not going to bring Sam back and it's not going to make you feel any better."
He turned toward me, the gun still in position, and said, "No, you're wrong. I was the one who hurt her more than anyone else. Do you remember that blood we found in the bathroom that day she disappeared? It was because of me. I was pissed off for whatever reason and well, I took it out on her. . .physically. I hadn't told anybody that before."
My eyes got big. Did he really beat her up that night?! I guess that could easily explain why she never came back for such a long time. "Uh, yeah, but she forgave you for that, remember? Hell, even you said that by proposing to her that would erase any of the bad memories!"
"Well I was wrong!" he yelled, "I was the one who caused her to run away, I was the one who caused her to be killed anyway you look at it, it was all because of me."
"That doesn't make any sense. You're totally going against everything that you've told Sam, everything you said that night in Detroit! We're all totally sad that Sam died, but there's nothing that we can do anymore. We all miss her, but Brian, you can't just go blaming yourself as an excuse to blow your brains out. It's not what she would have wanted."
I could tell that that last sentence had some kind of impact on him. He lowered the gun a little at first, and then finally let it fall to the ground. "I think your right. . .but what the hell am I supposed to do?! I just got her back with me, we were going to get married, and now she's gone for good. . .and I don't even know if I can move on!" he said.
"All I can say right now, I guess, is that we're all here for you if you ever need help because I know this is gonna be the hardest on you." He nodded and went over to the couch and immediately laid down.
"Thanks, Zacky, I think you may have just saved my life," he said and then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
I breathed a sigh of relief. But then I got a little sad, because what he just said reminded me of when I first met Sam at Hot Topic when she was my 'life saver' and got me the new shirt.