Hidden Butterflies

"Tessa, sweetie. Wake up! It's the first day of school!" My mother sang to me.

"I'll be ready in five minutes!" I groaned from under my covers.

"Breakfast is downstairs when you're ready." And with that, my mother floated out of my room and down the stairs. Sighing, I jumped out of bed and slammed my door shut.

"Can I ever get privacy in this place?" I mumbled to myself. The answer to that, was no. My mom watched me like a hawk. I can't blame her though, she doesn't want me to end up like my dad. Surprisingly, she never found out about my bad habit from last year. No one did. Well, Micheal did. But I never wanted him to know. But, Brooke and Sarah don't know. They wouldn't understand.

They haven't been through what I've been through. they haven't been betrayed or beaten like I have. They've never wanted to go to sleep one night, and not wake up the next morning. I would know if they had felt like that. They both tell me absolutely everything. I wanted to tell them that I wasn't okay, and I wasn't 'just tired', but they wouldn't understand. No one did.

But I can't think about hurting myself, not anymore. I'm done with that chapter in my life. I'm new Tessa, happy and confident.

Plugging my iPod into a set of speakers, I began to dance around my room looking for something to wear. I stumbled upon a pair of worn out skinny jeans that were left on my floor. Without hesitation, I put them on. Finding a shirt would be far from difficult. For the last four years, I've worn the same blue, fitted shirt on the first day of school. It was nothing special, it was simply comfortable and it gave me one less thing to stress out about.

Humming along to my iPod, I throw off my tank top that I wore to bed the previous night and put my favorite shirt on. With a smile, I began to dance again. Sometimes, music was the only thing that made me happy. Playing with my long, red curls, i imagined myself singing to an audience filled with thousands of adoring fans. They didn't even care how off pitch I was! Suddenly I realized that here, alone in my room, fantasizing about a life that will never happen made me happier than i ever was last year.

I looked that the alarm clock that sat on my nightstand. 'Shit!" I shrieked. The clock said 6:40, and the bus comes at 6:45. Swiftly, I grabbed my backpack off of the floor and bolted out of my room and flew down the stairs. Waiting for me in the kitchen was my mother and my younger brother Derek, who was eating colorful and soggy cereal.

"Ew, that stupid blue shirt again, Tess?" My brother said with judging eyes. For a twelve year old, he could be cruel.

"Why are you even awake? You never wake up this early." I asked ignoring his criticism.

He motioned toward mom, who was rinsing off dinner settings from the night before. "Apparently waking up five minutes before the bus comes isn't okay anymore." He whispered. I smiled and rustled his hair playfully. Then, i grabbed an apple from a bowl in the center of the table and took a bite.

"Bye mom!" I yelled over the radio and the sound of rushing water form the sink.

"Tessa! Don't forget to give Adam a tour of the school!" Mom shouted back.

"I won't! Bye!" i said walking out the door. Chomping on my apple, I walked down the street faster than I normally would. In the distance, I saw an empty bus stop. But that was excepted: The one other person who takes the bus on my street got her license this summer. So, no more bus for them. Luck bastard.

I chucked the remains of my apple into the wooded area of my neighbor's property. I do this almost every day during the school year, and I didn't even know who lived there.

"Hey!" I heard someone shout behind me. "I'm pretty sure that's littering." Approaching me was a boy in a black sweatshirt and dark jeans. His hair was light brown and styled in a way that resembled Justin Bieber. But, not as long. I stopped walking and waited until the boy was closer to me.

"I'm sorry. Is this your house?" I asked with true sincerity.

He smiled. His teeth were white and perfectly straight. "No, I'm just giving you a hard time."

I smiled back like an idiot. Then, realization hit me. "Are you Adam?" I smirked mischievously.

"Why yes I am." He returned the smile. "You must be Tessa."

I nodded. Then I noticed his eyes. Big and brown. But not dark brown, almost a hazel. Hazel eyes that resembled a puppy's. Adam must of noticed me staring, he began to blush. He was cute when he blushed.

"So," I said breaking the silence while still looking at his eyes. "where did you move here from?"

"St.Paul. It's in Minnesota."

"I know where St.Paul is. But wow, a small town in New Hampshire must be like summer to you." I laughed.

"So far, yeah, it is." He flashed a huge grin.

"That didn't stop you from wearing a sweatshirt though."

Adam's smile disappeared. "I've uh, adapted to the cold, I guess." He said in almost a whisper. He looked at the ground and crossed his arms in front of his chest, as if he were hiding something. I looked at his face. His hazel eyes suddenly looked heavy and worrisome. I knew that look. Far too well in fact.

We reached the bus stop and stopped walking. Adam still looked depressed and beaten.

"I'm sorry if what I said about your sweatshirt offended you or anything. I didn't mean it like that." I said to him.

As if on command, Adam's smile reappeared. "Why would it offend me?" He grinned a little too big. I knew it was fake.

"I-I don't know. But you've looked a little upset ever since I bought it up." I explained.

"Just a little homesick, that's all. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." I smiled. He smiled back. We simply stared at each other for a few more seconds. But when I began to blush, I quickly looked toward the ground and stared at the freshly dewed grass. When the bus finally came, I was upset and relieved.

"Wanna sit together? I don't really know anyone yet." Adam asked.

"Sure." I smiled. We sat on the bus together, telling each other more about ourselves. Never once bringing his sweatshirt back into conversation.