Hidden Butterflies

"God, if someone told me that a random new kid would find out my deepest secret on the first day of school, I would've told them they were crazy." I said to Adam as we pounded up the stairs.

"I would've punched them in the face." Adam replied.

"You don't seem like the violent type." I laughed.

"Well you obviously don't know me at all." Adam smiled. Go, I love his smile.

"So, uh, let's go." We walked into my room. I had admitted to Adam that I had extra razors hidden in my room. He convinced me to get rid of them.

"Holy shit." I heard Adam say. "You can see straight into my room from here!"

I pretended to be surprised. "Wow. That's really weird."

"Hey, now I can watch you strip." Adam smiled and winked.

"I really hope you're kidding." I laughed.

"I am. Trust me, I'm not some sort of Peeping Tom. I'm a gentlemen."

"Of course you are." I smiled.

"Now, back on track. Where are the razors?" Adam searching the room with his eyes.

"In the bottom drawer of the dresser. Just move the clothes."

Adam knelt down and moved around the pairs of capris and shorts. He then pulled out my un-opened package of brightly colored disposable razors.

"So, should we chuck them, or save them so you can actually, well, shave." Adam tried to find the right words.

"Save them. I can go throw them in the bathroom right now." I took the package and walked off. The bathroom was across the hall, so it was a short walk. When I got back, Adam was admiring a small Mickey Mouse teddy bear that I keep on my bed.

"My ex-boyfriend gave me that." I said from the doorway.

"It's cute." Adam said.

"Yeah. He got it for me at Disneyworld. It was a birthday present." I smiled, remembering when Micheal gave it to me. It was the same weekend he found out about the cutting. For some reason, that made the gift so much sweeter.

"Why did you keep it?"

I walked into the room and stood next to Adam. I took the stuffed animal from his hands. "He's the only other person that knows. And I promised him I would stop. Whenever I want to cut, I look at this and I just, stop myself." I continued to look at the toy.

"Why did you tell him? None of my ex-girlfriends know about me."

"I didn't tell him, he walked in on me one day. But I should've told him myself. We were dating for over a year when he found out. We uh, we broke up five months after that though." I forced a weak smiled to make it seem that I was fine.

"Do you miss him?"

"So much."

Adam pulled me in for a hug. I held onto him tightly, not wanting to let go. He let me go and looked at me. "If you don't mind me asking, why did you two break up?"

"It just working out anymore. Neither of us were really happy anymore." I answered, in almost a whisper.

"That's good. Nothing too uh, bad I guess." Adam said. I looked at him with a puzzled expression. "I mean, like cheating or anything."

"Oh! Right. Yeah I guess it could've been worse."

"Being cheated on isn't fun." Adam sighed, sitting down on the bed.

"You were cheated on?"

"Yeah, last year. I was dating this girl, a junior. And I thought I loved her, thought she was the one actually. Then, a friend of mine saw her making out with a senior. I was devastated. I cried for days. It was terrible! And to make matters worse, Austin died a couple after that."

I sat down next to him. "I am so sorry. That sounds terrible." I didn't know what else to say, so I simply comforted him.

"It's fine. I'm over it. Well, the girl, not Austin." Adam looked at the ground and played with his fingers. "I, uh, gotta go. My mom is probably wondering where I am. He arose from the bed.

"Okay." I got up, too. "Hey Adam?" I called as he left my room.

'Yeah?"

"Please don't hurt yourself tonight."

He smiled. "I won't, Tess. I promise."