Vengeance University

It was after class hours and I was off to cleaning again. I'd let Jimmy go home to his girlfriend (which I was a tad bit upset to learn he had one) and said that I'd scrub down the administration offices for him, to which he happily complied.

I dragged my cart of supplies down the administrative wing, moving from room to room, cleaning tables, straightening papers, emptying bins... the works. I came to the headmaster's office, and pushed the door open, only to be flooded by an unexpected light from inside the room. I looked up quickly from the floor to be met with Headmaster Baker.... and Sarah of all people. They'd jumped back from each other, and the looks on their faces explained it all: they'd been caught.

The room was engulfed with a heavy silence as the three of us just stared at each other, myself looking from Sarah to Headmaster Baker, the others looking between me and themselves.

"Um..." I finally said, remembering I was holding the door open and then coming fully into the room, letting it shut behind me for privacy - not that anyone would come along this late at night.

The Headmaster cleared his throat and looked down at his desk and Sarah turned to me, her eyes seeming to plead wit me. "Oh!... Oh... Uhm, don't worry. I won't tell a soul," I said, suddenly understanding Sarah's eye contact.

"Thanks," Headmaster Baker said sheepishly, looking up at me with thankful eyes.

"I'll uh... leave you two alone. I'll be waiting outside for you, if you're leaving soon," I stammered, directing the last bit towards Sarah. She nodded briefly in confirmation and I turned back to the door.

"Amanda... you can just come by and clean this room tomorrow night. If Jimmy asks about it, tell him I gave the orders," Headmaster Baker stated.

"Okay, thank-you Headmas--"

"Mr. Baker is just fine, if you don't mind," he said, cutting me off. I nodded and went to step out of the room when I turned again.

"Uhm... Mr. Baker... do you think I could ask a favor of you?" I asked. He nodded his head. "Do you think you could tell Mr. Haner that I'm deeply sorry for the trouble I caused him the other day?"

"Ahh yes... He told me about that. And no offense but... I really think that's something that you need to do yourself."

"Yes, sir. Thanks anyways," I replied, and then took myself frmo the room, allowing them their privacy. In a matter of a couple minutes, Sarah and I were heading down the hall. Not a word was said the entire way.

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A few days later, Sarah and I were getting ready for first class. We had learned to wake up on time, so as not to be in a rush, and the extra time allowed us general converation on the way to class.

"So, the first basketball game of the season is tonight," I stated as I pointed out a flyer on a wall as we passed it. "I was thinking we could go watch it," I suggested to Sarah.

"Yeah. Za--Mr. Baker told me all about it. I'm gonna go to it," she said, and I nodded.

"Maybe it'll help get my mind off what happened last week," I muttered.

"Awh, sweetie, you're still on about that?" Sarah cooed, stopping me and placing her hands on my shoulders as she faced me.

"God yes! I feel horrible about it! Can't you tell he's not over it either? He won't even look at me anymore and I feel so bad because he thought I was purposely looking through his things."

"Amanda, how were you supposed to know?"

"I don't know.. but I should have just kept my mouth shut and left before things ended the way they did," I sighed.

"Everything will be fine," Sarah said in an assuring voice. I nodded and we continued our way to Human Anatomy. And just my luck, we reached the closed door to the class the same time Mr. Haner did. I stopped and stared at him. He stopped and stared back. Sarah stopped and glanced back and forth between the two of us. Mr. Haner finally moved, reaching forward to turn the door handle. He pulled the door open, and motioned for us to go in. Sarah and I obediently entered and took our respective seats in the front of the room. I watched as Mr. Haner walked over to his desk and he looked up briefly, catching my gaze in his. I tried to send a half-hearted smile his way, as a sort of peace offering, but all he did in return was turn to the board to begind today's lesson.

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The basketball stadium was crowded the night of the first game. It was no surprise, considering there were fliers placed all over campus and the students and even faculty had a lot of school spirit. I'd found out that the school colors were black and red (how I'd managed to overlook that was beyond me), and the mascot of the school was, completely unironically, a devil.

Sarah and I were in the stands, pretty close to the floor, as the game went on. I had to remember to keep diverting my eyes away from Matt, who was on the sidelines opposite us, shouting orders at his players as they moved up and down the court. It wasn't my fault he looked so damn hot with his strong tattooed arms peeking out from the sleeveless black shirt he was wearing.

I glanced over at Sarah, and noticed she wasn't watching the game at all, but rather had her eyes transfixed on something in the crowd. Or someone. A little smile was gracing her lips and I followed her gaze down the row and a few rows in front of us. It was Mr. Baker. I glanced back at Sarah and playfully rolled my eyes, but then found my own eyes looking back down the rows. Mr. Baker wasn't alone. Mr. Haner was with him. I actually saw that as a window of opportunity for me; I could catch up with him before he left and apologize for what had happened that night in his classroom so many weeks ago.

I was shaken from my thoughts as the buzzer sounded and every single body in the stands on our side jumped to their feet, screaming out their victory. The game was over. After a small bit of celebration between people in the crowded stands, everyone slowly started to file out.

I turned to Sarah. "You go without me... I'm gonna try and talk with Mr. Haner before he leaves," I said. She smiled and nodded, and I slid my way past people, trying to weasel my way around while still keeping my eyes on the teacher.

I finally got to the ground floor and I caught Mr. Haner in the hallway that led outside. "Mr. Haner!" I called out. He turned around, searching for who was asking for him. His eyes finally landed on me, and his face went stoney. "Mr. Haner, please, wait a minute," I said. To my surprise, he didn't move and I was able to catch up to him. "I want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't," he spat, and turned to walk away. I followed him out to the parking lot.

"Mr. Haner, please... I want to apologize," I called out again. He stopped walking away from me, but didn't turn around until I had caught up wtih him. "I-- I'm sorry, for what happened."

"For what, snooping around in places you don't belong?" he spat back. I didn't answer for a moment.

"I wasn't snooping. I was cleaning up and that drawer was stuck, so I was trying to fix it and it flew open. And then... my curiousity got the best of me. I know it wasn't my place to look at that picture, or to assume what happened, and for that I am apologizing."

Mr. Haner tilted his head to the ground and nodded, waiting a few moments before speaking. "Apology accepted."

"Thank you." We stood there in silence for awhile, not knowing really what to say.

"She died of cancer, you know... one of the hardest times of my life. And I haven't exactly moved on," Mr. Haner finally said. We began walking through the lot to his car after those words.

"When did it happen?" I asked, walking alongside him.

"Almost five years ago."

"I really am sorry... I know what it's like to lose a loved one. Lost my dad when I was twelve," I shrugged, mumbling my words.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he remarked, and I nodded.

"I don't know if I've ever gotten over it. I don't think anyone really does. It's hard."

"Me either. I... haven't even tried to move on... and see other people. And as cliche as it is, she was my one and only."

"Doesn't sound cliche at all. For some people, that's how it goes," I said, and Mr. Haner nodded his head. We seemed to be doing a lot of that.

"So... I'm gonna ask a question again. Why'd you act kinda mean to me before, in classes?"

Mr. Haner let out a bit of an ironic chuckle of sorts, stopping at his car. "Well, the thing is... Your personality and the way you act... is pretty much exactly the same as my wife's was. I thought maybe there was a way to change that, but there wasn't. You never changed, and I never stopped thinking about her," he shrugged.

"What was her name?"

He sighed. "...Natalie."

"... She was very beautiful," I commented after a short pause.

"Yes, she was," Mr. Haner reminisced, leaning back against his car.

"Well, I guess I should be getting back to my dorm," I said quietly.

"Yeah, I guess you should... I heard there's this huge test in Human Anatomy tomorrow morning," he smiled a little.

I smiled back. "I heard that too. And just... one more thing, Mr. Haner. If you ever need anyone to talk to... I'm here. Okay?" I offered up.

He smiled slightly. "Okay... Goodnight Amanda," he said and then opened his car door.

"Goodnight," I replied, and turned to walk away.

And then it hit me, as I was walking back to my room. There was no point in going after someone who'd lost the ability to love.

I stopped dead in my tracks. ...Love?