On Your Side

Jess was showing Sarah the shots she’d got during the show that night and the night before, instead of sitting in the front lounge with all the guys drinking they’d decided to go to the back lounge and watch movies.

“I still can’t believe you’re pregnant.” Sarah sighed, watching her best friend edit the lighting on a photo of Alex Silverman.

She giggled placing her hand on her still flat stomach “me either.”

“have you told Eric?’

“ugh, not yet.” Jess looked up “I only found out the day before yesterday, I don’t want to make him worry about me while we’re on tour.”

Sarah paused School of Rock “you have to tell him soon, he’ll start wondering why the life of the party is refusing to drink.”

“you’re right, should I tell him now while he’s still sober?”

“If that’s what you want to do.” Sarah smiled

“Will you sit with me while I tell him?”

“Are you sure?”

Jess nodded before putting down her Mac and walking through to the front lounge “Halvo, come here a minute?”

He passed his unopened bottle to John “sure, babe.”

Jess walked back into the room biting on her lip as she sat back down by Sarah.

“What’s up, you need help with the DVD player or something?” Halvo asked walking in

Jess looked at Sarah, who nodded to the seat across from them “Eric, sit down.”

Shaking her leg nervously, Jess placed her hands in her lap “Eric, I’m..” she took a deep breath and looked up at him “I’m pregnant.”

He shot up from the seat, covering his mouth “I’m gonna be a Daddy?” Jess nodded and he shouted “Fuck, I’m going to be a Daddy!”

John burst into the room “Did I just overhear that right?”

Eric looked at him with a tearful grin “yeah.” he reached for Jess’ hand and pressed his lips to hers.

Sarah stood up “we’re, ugh just gonna leave you two to it.” she walked out the room with John, bumping straight into Nick. “Ugh, hi.” she half smiled

John raised his eyebrows and slipped past them, through the bunks to the front lounge.

Nick’s voice was raspy when he spoke “that could’ve been us.”

she looked at her feet “yeah.”
“still could.” he smiled.

“Nick, my boyfriend is right there. In fact, if he looked up he’d see us right now.”

His smile dropped “Joel, of course.”

She nodded awkwardly.

“Do you love him?”

She sighed “yeah.”

“are you IN love with him?”

“no.” she gulped.

He raised his eyebrows “well..” he smiled before walking off.

“Hello you.” Joel smiled when Sarah sat in lap

“Hi.” She felt Nick’s eyes on him and she honestly felt nervous.

“You ok?” He asked, kissing her cheek as she slipped the bottle out of his long fingers.

Her eyes flicked to Nick and his smug smile “I’m fine.”

He brushed some hair behind her ear “you sure?”

She smiled, “yeah, I’m just tired.” she looked around “in fact, I’m gonna head to my bunk, good night everyone.”

“Night baby.” Joel said pressing his lips to hers “hey, I like you.” he winked.

She giggled “I like you too, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Just as she was about to walk into the bunk area she turned to see only one set of eyes on her. She gulped, turning her focus from him “guys, please don’t stay up too late please Tim will kill me.”

She tapped lightly on the back lounge door then pushed it open to see Jess asleep in Eric’s lap, she smiled “I’m off to bed, goodnight Eric.”

“I was just going to put Mommy here in her bunk.”

“Mommy.” Sarah whispered with a smile “I’m so proud of you guys.”

Eric flashed her a warm smile “It’s all because of you, Aunty Sarah.”

She wiped a tear from under her eye and let out a soft laugh “If only I was as good at relationships as you guys, huh?”

“What?”

She shook her head “nothing, goodnight.”

Sarah was lying wide awake in her bunk when she heard Joel ask with a sigh “she said she was fine, right?”

“You know it means a girls lying when she says she’s fine.” Nick snorted

“She said she was tired?”

“Confirmation that it was a lie.”

Glass clinked against a table “C’mon Nick, it’s Sarah she probably is just tired.” John stated.

The conversation died out and Sarah found herself thinking about Nick and Joel comparing the two in her head, her mind eventually stumbling upon the memory of the break up just eight months prior to the tour.

Her face lit up along with her phone screen, signalling the incoming call.

“Hey baby.” She smiled into the phone.

“Hi.” Nick’s voice came back, emptily.

Her smile faltered “are you ok, you sound off.”

There was a shaky sigh “we gotta talk, Sarah.”

“Um, ok?”

“This isn’t working, this long distance thing, I hate it.”

“I hate it too, but it’s not not working.”

“You don’t even come to Braintree anymore, but why would you, your Mom moved back to Tempe.”

She laughed sarcastically “Excuse me, Nick, but I think you’ll find we arranged for me to come visit but you blew me off for some tour.”

“Well, I can’t help but look at other girls, I have needs and you’re never here.”

“You’re never here either, but I don’t look at other guys.”

“then you must be perfect. I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, Sarah.”

The line went dead and she looked at the fading screen, a photo of her and Nick that John took when Nick had been in town was displayed as her home screen.

She sucked in her bottom lip as tears began to fall.

Her whole room was filled with things that were relevant to her and Nick’s relationship, the photos lining the walls, the guitar she’d moved from her Gran’s that he’d play to her, the Demolition sleeve from the record he bought her on their third date and the hoodie he always left there.

She grabbed it, wrapping it around her body and sunk to the floor in a mess of tears, inhaling the scent that the hoodie was beginning to lose, meaning it would have been around the time Nick would come back and wear it for her just so it smelt like him when he left again.