Life, When You've Got Nothing Left to Lose
Chapter 3
The night was cold, and I had to wrap my arms around my body.
A figure ran towards me quickly. I stood up, not aware of who it was.
"Oh, hey."
It was Alec. I sat back down and propped my back against the tree.
My stomach had butterflies in it. I always felt like this, because I was always with Alec.
It was getting dark in the park, and Alec decided to sit down on the left of me.
I felt his warm hand on the right side of my face. He pushed my head down on him, letting me rest my head on his shoulder.
I was so confused whether to get up or stay. I stayed. This would probably be the only chance to do something like this with the boy that I loved.
I closed my eyes, breathing in the clean air.
Damn, that boy made me happy.
"Alec... you don't have to stay."
I said, opening my eyes to see him staring into them.
"Yes I do."
His lips brushed against mine. I was taken by shock.
"I-i'm sorry."
Alec said, sadly getting up. I grabbed his hand.
"Don't be."
We sat there for a few minutes, my head on his shoulder, him lightly stroking my hair.
This was one of those moments you wish could last forever. And then you would wish that they did and that you could re-live it after it went by.
Alec wears some kind of cologne. It was a warm and welcoming smell. I loved that about him. I would buy it, and spray some on my pillow so that he would always be with me.
I buried my face in his shoulder, smelling as much as I could.
"Hey."
Alec said.
"Hey. Question?"
I said, looking into his eyes.
"Yeah?"
He said.
"Where am I going to live… not your house, obviously."
I said. Alec's parents hated me.
"I... I don't know.
We could run away."
Wait... why?
"Alec, you've got a family and a little sister who needs you.
Don't run away now."
"But... we've always wanted to run away together... remember?"
I sighed and kissed his cheek.
"Yeah. But I don't want you to do this.
We can wait."
Alec put his hand on my head.
"I'll bring you whatever you need.
Food, clothing."
I smiled and hugged him tightly.
"I love you."
Moments of silence went by. Then he spoke.
"I love you too."
Loving him was one thing. But him loving me... it made me feel so good about myself.
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever
Demolition Lovers came into my head.
Alec stood up.
"Do you want to come sleep in my house?"
He said, with a bright light twinkling in his eyes.
"You have a sleeping bag?"
I said, raising my eyebrows.
"... sure."
I walked with him to his house, with my hand in his. We knew that his parents wouldn't let me close.
"Okay, go by my window, I'll let you in."
He whispered.
I ran towards his window on the left side of the house.
"Come in."
A figure ran towards me quickly. I stood up, not aware of who it was.
"Oh, hey."
It was Alec. I sat back down and propped my back against the tree.
My stomach had butterflies in it. I always felt like this, because I was always with Alec.
It was getting dark in the park, and Alec decided to sit down on the left of me.
I felt his warm hand on the right side of my face. He pushed my head down on him, letting me rest my head on his shoulder.
I was so confused whether to get up or stay. I stayed. This would probably be the only chance to do something like this with the boy that I loved.
I closed my eyes, breathing in the clean air.
Damn, that boy made me happy.
"Alec... you don't have to stay."
I said, opening my eyes to see him staring into them.
"Yes I do."
His lips brushed against mine. I was taken by shock.
"I-i'm sorry."
Alec said, sadly getting up. I grabbed his hand.
"Don't be."
We sat there for a few minutes, my head on his shoulder, him lightly stroking my hair.
This was one of those moments you wish could last forever. And then you would wish that they did and that you could re-live it after it went by.
Alec wears some kind of cologne. It was a warm and welcoming smell. I loved that about him. I would buy it, and spray some on my pillow so that he would always be with me.
I buried my face in his shoulder, smelling as much as I could.
"Hey."
Alec said.
"Hey. Question?"
I said, looking into his eyes.
"Yeah?"
He said.
"Where am I going to live… not your house, obviously."
I said. Alec's parents hated me.
"I... I don't know.
We could run away."
Wait... why?
"Alec, you've got a family and a little sister who needs you.
Don't run away now."
"But... we've always wanted to run away together... remember?"
I sighed and kissed his cheek.
"Yeah. But I don't want you to do this.
We can wait."
Alec put his hand on my head.
"I'll bring you whatever you need.
Food, clothing."
I smiled and hugged him tightly.
"I love you."
Moments of silence went by. Then he spoke.
"I love you too."
Loving him was one thing. But him loving me... it made me feel so good about myself.
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever
Demolition Lovers came into my head.
Alec stood up.
"Do you want to come sleep in my house?"
He said, with a bright light twinkling in his eyes.
"You have a sleeping bag?"
I said, raising my eyebrows.
"... sure."
I walked with him to his house, with my hand in his. We knew that his parents wouldn't let me close.
"Okay, go by my window, I'll let you in."
He whispered.
I ran towards his window on the left side of the house.
"Come in."