Stay With Me

I guess I never really said anything properly about myself have I?
How rude of me.
Well my name is Sawyer Bellerose.
People always seem to remember me because of 1 my name, how many girls out there are named Sawyer?
Reason number 2 well my hair, it has a tendency to change color whenever I feel a need to change it…which is about every 3 months.
I have no clue how I ended up best friends with a bunch of guys.
It was like a domino effect, befriend one, meet another, next thing you know I have 5 guys in my apartment raiding my fridge going “what’s for dinner Sawyer?”
I love those guys.
I have toured the world with them; I have seen each and every single one of them through almost everything imaginable.
No one scared me the most then Gerard and Mikey.
Gerard was getting sober and Mikey getting the mental help he needed, not at the same time mind you but the events were just implanted in my memory.
Ever since then I was always hesitant on going back on the road with them, well that and…..

“Sawyer? Did you just hear what I said?”
“Huh? Did you say something?”
“I said I don’t think the jacket is going to be done and delivered by the time we get started with the tour. It’s a custom job.”

I almost forgot he was still here..

“Oh don’t worry about I know someone who can have it done at least by the 4th day of the tour. You will have to wear a suit jacket until then.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah it’s no problem.”

I walked to start cleaning up the pile of scrapped ideas and torn sketches.

“Sawyer…”

I looked up to find those hazel eyes looking at me, wondering about something.

“Yeah what’s up?”
“Are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know you seem a little distant lately. I just want to know if there was something wrong?”
“It’s nothing serious.”
“Tell me about it.”

Only that I am going to lose you forever when you leave on this tour.

“No really its nothing serious just silly stuff.”
“Come on we tell each other everything.”
“Not this.”
“Why not?”
“I just don’t really want to get into it okay Gee?”
“Alright then I was just asking to see if I could help.”

Don’t go.

“That’s sweet but you can’t.”
“Oh hey there was another reason I came over today.”
“Okay shoot.”
“Linkin Park is starting press for the tour and they want some of the headliners to come and interview with magazines and do the conference thing and I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me.”

Just enjoy the time you have now.

“sure when is it?”
“Tomorrow?”
He gave me that adorable guilty look on his face the one that always appears on his face whenever he leaves something to the last minute.
“Ha ha ha alright since I’m not going to go on tour with you guys, I’ll do this with you. You have to stop leaving these things to last minute Gerard seriously.”
He stopped in his tracks.
“wait you’re not coming?”

Shit you haven’t told him yet did you?

“uh yeah I’m not going.”
“But Sawyer this is important to me, you should you would think about it.”
“Gee I did and I just can’t. I can’t-“
“You have all the time in the world! You haven’t been going on tour with us lately and it feels like you’re avoiding something!”
“I’m not!”

Lie.

“Sawyer for the love of everything please go!”
“I said no.”
“Oh no you’re going even if I have to come and drag you on the bus!”
“I would like to see you try!”
“God dammit Sawyer what is wrong with you?! I am asking you for a huge favor meet the girl I have a crush on to see if I am not making a mistake with her! I need you to please meet her and I need you there, you are my person! MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME!”
I never really did like being yelled at, he knew this all too well so it shouldn't have surprised him when I..
“you know what?! Sometimes its not about you!!”

I grabbed my keys and stormed off out of my apartment.