‹ Prequel: 11) Prepared.
Sequel: 13) Denial. ›
12) Knowledge.
12) Knowledge.
Dear Topman Stores,
(To whom this may directly concern) I, Louis Tomlinson (yes, the one from the infamous— and sometimes notorious— European boy band One Direction), am writing this letter with the intention of giving my sincerest apology to Topman Stores’ chain of retail shops in light of the event that took place in the Las Vegas area not a few days ago.
I would ask that you forgive me and my actions as I should confess that the situation that occurred those few days ago was out of my control, which I don’t doubt I can trust you to believe. I would also like to add that in England, where I live, actions such as the kind I displayed on this day of importance would be looked upon and handled in the simplest of fashions, the most appropriate being the sending of this person (i.e. me) off with a word of warning rather than, say, setting this person on a probation or throwing this person (i.e. me) in a prison of some sort.
Therefore, I would like to, as formally as possible, apologize for the incident that happened in your Nevada-based store the other day, and relieve you with the comfort that I will not let it happen again.
(Although, in my defense, I had no idea that that ball was powerful enough to knock over seven racks plus a wall-sized cabinet. I actually have no idea how that little bouncy ball got out of my pack in the first place.)
Most Sincerely,
Louis Tomlinson x
---
Dear Mr. Tomlinson x,
As Head Manager of Nevada’s Las Vegas Topman store, I am writing in response to your previous letter of apology. In respect of all of us involved with the company, we thank you for that unexpected letter. Also, I understand that you are from what some may call a ‘prestigious status’. Thank you again for clarifying.
However, I have a few complications to question you about that I’m sure won’t take a moment of your time:
First, I would like to draw your attention to your mentioning of England’s penalty code, which I am suspicious you have understated. And I wasn’t thinking along the terms of throwing you, or anyone, in prison, although now it is certainly on my mind.
Second, I do appreciate your apology, but your being famous does not excuse you from your reckless actions. This includes running out of the store before our employees could speak with you to sort this matter out justly.
And finally, I am glad to hear that you will not be letting this happen again.
I feel an obligation to further point out that what you referred to as a ‘little’ bouncy ball was, in fact, not all that little. If our employees on shift recall correctly (and we have no reason not to believe them otherwise) then that ball was, in fact, quite large. About the size of a person’s head. The size-to-weight ratio would indeed, as we have seen, be enough to trash half a clothing store.
In an irrelevant addition, I do not understand why you have chosen to sign with an ‘x’ next to your signature. In past official records we see that you have not done so. To briefly clear this matter up, I would just like to know if this is some certified change to your birth name?
Thank you,
Guy Wickersham
Manager
---
Dear Guy,
Now I would like to thank you for the response to my letter. Thank you for responding.
It is nice to hear that you’ll not be throwing me in prison, as the lads (my band mates) and I view that decision as an extreme.
Once again, I apologize immensely for my actions. I was understandably frightened by the crashing store-wear, and high-tailed it out of there as had every customer who had been present.
Ah yes, I do remember the day I was given said bouncy ball. I believe I said something along the lines of, “Wow. This is a big bouncy ball.” And I’m almost positive I didn’t destroy half of the store. It was more like a quarter of it.
I would also like to point something out. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that absolutely none of the points you made in your letter were questions. (In fact, the lads agree with me completely.)
And to answer your question about my additional ‘x’, yes. I have gotten attached to the letter and have permanently added it to my actual name.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Louis Tomlinson xx
---
Dear Mr. Tomlinson x(x?),
Mr. Tomlinson, I am confident in saying that you are an independent individual able to make decisions and come to conclusions for yourself, and I must apologize for my questions without question marks that confused you so. But it is my greatest displeasure to inform you that you have failed to respond to any of them adequately.
Perhaps this will clear things up for you:
Are you so sure that a person who publicly vandalized (however accidentally) a clothing store would only be let off with a word of warning? Might I suggest a more justifiable answer?
Did you think that leaving the scene of the crime would redeem your actions? Being a member of a famous boy band does little to excuse you from this.
Are you so sure this will never happen again?
I hope you can understand what I am trying to convey with this new version of my previous letter.
Now, admittedly, we are all quite confused as to why you had chosen to sign with two ‘x’s in the signature of your last letter, in regards to your explanation on the single ‘x’s purpose.
And no, I did not have a good day.
Sincerely,
Guy Wickersham
Manager
---
Dear Guy Wickersham,
Thank you for noting my independence. People tend to tell me that I am as mature as a ten-year-old, which doesn’t always make me feel all that good about myself. It’s nice to hear a more encouraging comment especially from someone I could still consider a stranger. Since we’ve never met. Even though we’re sort of like pen pals at this rate.
And yes, the questions with question marks do clear things up a bit. Although I must ask— don’t you think it is a bit extreme to call my bouncy ball incident a crime scene?
It saddens me to hear you doubt my reliability when I did not doubt anything about you, sir.
When signing autographs for my adoring fans, my other bandmates and I end our signature’s with ‘x’s. It usually means ‘kisses’ because we love our fans. It’s a habit. Sorry.
I’m also sorry to hear that your day was not pleasant. I wanted to let you know that even when the sun isn’t shining, you could still be smiling.
Officially Signed,
Louis Tomlinson xx
---
Dear Mr. Tomlinson x,
The kind of information you included in the introduction of your previous letter is inappropriate for our discussion. I would ask that you keep this strictly formal.
I also do not appreciate the way in which you chose to conceive your last letter in general. If my irritation is unintentional, I apologize in advance for my misinterpretation, but the tone of your letters as a whole have not been at all reasonable. I have done all I can to be reasonable with you, but I may need to take further action should this informality and ignorance on your part continue. You have still failed at answering my questions even as I had rewritten them in a way that satisfied you.
As far as your explanation on the additional ‘x’s, I understand. However, for your sake, I would like to point out that it is an informal choice that I would advise you stick to only signing for your fans should a problem like this arise in the future. Seeing as this is our general company’s second letter of apology from you, I felt it was necessary to let you know.
Guy Wickersham
Manager
---
Dear Guy,
Thank you for informing me of your opinion. I will take that into consideration.
Louis x
---
Text received:
Louis I tried to call but u didnt pick up, a letter just came in the mail from Topman Stores las Vegas. They sound angry. Boo bear your 20 now this needs to stop. I love u, mum
(To whom this may directly concern) I, Louis Tomlinson (yes, the one from the infamous— and sometimes notorious— European boy band One Direction), am writing this letter with the intention of giving my sincerest apology to Topman Stores’ chain of retail shops in light of the event that took place in the Las Vegas area not a few days ago.
I would ask that you forgive me and my actions as I should confess that the situation that occurred those few days ago was out of my control, which I don’t doubt I can trust you to believe. I would also like to add that in England, where I live, actions such as the kind I displayed on this day of importance would be looked upon and handled in the simplest of fashions, the most appropriate being the sending of this person (i.e. me) off with a word of warning rather than, say, setting this person on a probation or throwing this person (i.e. me) in a prison of some sort.
Therefore, I would like to, as formally as possible, apologize for the incident that happened in your Nevada-based store the other day, and relieve you with the comfort that I will not let it happen again.
(Although, in my defense, I had no idea that that ball was powerful enough to knock over seven racks plus a wall-sized cabinet. I actually have no idea how that little bouncy ball got out of my pack in the first place.)
Most Sincerely,
Louis Tomlinson x
---
Dear Mr. Tomlinson x,
As Head Manager of Nevada’s Las Vegas Topman store, I am writing in response to your previous letter of apology. In respect of all of us involved with the company, we thank you for that unexpected letter. Also, I understand that you are from what some may call a ‘prestigious status’. Thank you again for clarifying.
However, I have a few complications to question you about that I’m sure won’t take a moment of your time:
First, I would like to draw your attention to your mentioning of England’s penalty code, which I am suspicious you have understated. And I wasn’t thinking along the terms of throwing you, or anyone, in prison, although now it is certainly on my mind.
Second, I do appreciate your apology, but your being famous does not excuse you from your reckless actions. This includes running out of the store before our employees could speak with you to sort this matter out justly.
And finally, I am glad to hear that you will not be letting this happen again.
I feel an obligation to further point out that what you referred to as a ‘little’ bouncy ball was, in fact, not all that little. If our employees on shift recall correctly (and we have no reason not to believe them otherwise) then that ball was, in fact, quite large. About the size of a person’s head. The size-to-weight ratio would indeed, as we have seen, be enough to trash half a clothing store.
In an irrelevant addition, I do not understand why you have chosen to sign with an ‘x’ next to your signature. In past official records we see that you have not done so. To briefly clear this matter up, I would just like to know if this is some certified change to your birth name?
Thank you,
Guy Wickersham
Manager
---
Dear Guy,
Now I would like to thank you for the response to my letter. Thank you for responding.
It is nice to hear that you’ll not be throwing me in prison, as the lads (my band mates) and I view that decision as an extreme.
Once again, I apologize immensely for my actions. I was understandably frightened by the crashing store-wear, and high-tailed it out of there as had every customer who had been present.
Ah yes, I do remember the day I was given said bouncy ball. I believe I said something along the lines of, “Wow. This is a big bouncy ball.” And I’m almost positive I didn’t destroy half of the store. It was more like a quarter of it.
I would also like to point something out. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that absolutely none of the points you made in your letter were questions. (In fact, the lads agree with me completely.)
And to answer your question about my additional ‘x’, yes. I have gotten attached to the letter and have permanently added it to my actual name.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Louis Tomlinson xx
---
Dear Mr. Tomlinson x(x?),
Mr. Tomlinson, I am confident in saying that you are an independent individual able to make decisions and come to conclusions for yourself, and I must apologize for my questions without question marks that confused you so. But it is my greatest displeasure to inform you that you have failed to respond to any of them adequately.
Perhaps this will clear things up for you:
Are you so sure that a person who publicly vandalized (however accidentally) a clothing store would only be let off with a word of warning? Might I suggest a more justifiable answer?
Did you think that leaving the scene of the crime would redeem your actions? Being a member of a famous boy band does little to excuse you from this.
Are you so sure this will never happen again?
I hope you can understand what I am trying to convey with this new version of my previous letter.
Now, admittedly, we are all quite confused as to why you had chosen to sign with two ‘x’s in the signature of your last letter, in regards to your explanation on the single ‘x’s purpose.
And no, I did not have a good day.
Sincerely,
Guy Wickersham
Manager
---
Dear Guy Wickersham,
Thank you for noting my independence. People tend to tell me that I am as mature as a ten-year-old, which doesn’t always make me feel all that good about myself. It’s nice to hear a more encouraging comment especially from someone I could still consider a stranger. Since we’ve never met. Even though we’re sort of like pen pals at this rate.
And yes, the questions with question marks do clear things up a bit. Although I must ask— don’t you think it is a bit extreme to call my bouncy ball incident a crime scene?
It saddens me to hear you doubt my reliability when I did not doubt anything about you, sir.
When signing autographs for my adoring fans, my other bandmates and I end our signature’s with ‘x’s. It usually means ‘kisses’ because we love our fans. It’s a habit. Sorry.
I’m also sorry to hear that your day was not pleasant. I wanted to let you know that even when the sun isn’t shining, you could still be smiling.
Officially Signed,
Louis Tomlinson xx
---
Dear Mr. Tomlinson x,
The kind of information you included in the introduction of your previous letter is inappropriate for our discussion. I would ask that you keep this strictly formal.
I also do not appreciate the way in which you chose to conceive your last letter in general. If my irritation is unintentional, I apologize in advance for my misinterpretation, but the tone of your letters as a whole have not been at all reasonable. I have done all I can to be reasonable with you, but I may need to take further action should this informality and ignorance on your part continue. You have still failed at answering my questions even as I had rewritten them in a way that satisfied you.
As far as your explanation on the additional ‘x’s, I understand. However, for your sake, I would like to point out that it is an informal choice that I would advise you stick to only signing for your fans should a problem like this arise in the future. Seeing as this is our general company’s second letter of apology from you, I felt it was necessary to let you know.
Guy Wickersham
Manager
---
Dear Guy,
Thank you for informing me of your opinion. I will take that into consideration.
Louis x
---
Text received:
Louis I tried to call but u didnt pick up, a letter just came in the mail from Topman Stores las Vegas. They sound angry. Boo bear your 20 now this needs to stop. I love u, mum
♠ ♠ ♠
[Original author's note:][Supposedly 6/23/12]
Finally the next installment! I know I've totally failed at the posting-every-day challenge I was trying to keep up with, but my job kind of threw a wrench in that, unfortunately. But that's no reason for me not to continue, right?! Right.
I really wanted to do a 'letter' back-and-forth format, and I might do something like this again in the future because it turned out to be so much fun, if not tedious, to write. And this drabble is not much of a 'truth', but I liked the idea. (And I'm thinking its focus is more on a reflection of Louis' inability to hide his annoyance toward people very well rather than the possibility of this literal situation happening. If you don't know what I mean, just ask. He's a sassy one.)
And a 'thank you' for notweirdbutunique because she's always there to help me think of the tiniest details, or fill in the backbone of an entire idea.
But ohmygoodness I have to tell you that this past weekend I went to the beach with some friends and convinced people that I was from England. I had an accent and everything. But now I'm having trouble getting rid of it... (Oh and I said I was from Wolverhampton [Liam's homecity]. Thank you, 1D.) Ah, so many stories. Frankly, it was insane.
Okay, possibly see you tomorrow!