Concrete

In the dim light; Alex smiles at her but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He looks at her but she knows that he can’t see her for who she is right now. He opens his mouth to talk but just listening to the first few words made Summer realize that Alex, is in fact; near his breaking point. “Have you ever felt like a puppet? Have you ever felt like there’s a series of invisible strings tied around your fingertips, limbs and just about every part of you? Because I do, most of the time. I feel like I’m not really the one in control of myself. It’s like there’s a greater part of me that dictates what I should or should not do and I’ll end up following it like a puppet on strings. There are mornings when I would just wake up and realize that I have managed to entangle myself with those invisible strings and there’s no way out of this. It’s like knowing that you need to get a grip on yourself and fix the mess you’ve made but you can’t because you know that what’s hurting you is also what keeps you together. Tell me, have you ever felt like that? Tell me, have you ever felt so hopeless?”

He nearly chokes out the last words like he’s been deprived of oxygen and Summer feels hot tears running down her cheeks. She never knew. She had never felt like that. For she does not let herself get tied down by anything. Her heart breaks at the morbid thought that Alex is carrying this baggage inside him without her being aware of it. Alex’s eyes are starting to fill with tears she knows will never be shed. A thousand thoughts buzz around the corners of her mind but she’d never be able to say it out loud. Sometimes, words aren’t enough to express what you really feel.

Summer shuffles closer to Alex, cups a hand on his cheek and press her lips against Alex’s. The sudden action causes Alex to slightly jump out of shock but then realization takes over and he finds himself kissing her back.

This time, he doesn’t just simply see her.

He does not simply see the way her skin looks pale when it’s dimly illuminated by the moonlight. He does not simply see the beauty that she possesses, even in her most natural state. Her hair is a sticky mess and the traces of makeup have been wiped off her skin by the water and Alex knows he’s never seen someone look so stunning.

He could smell her. He could smell the unique mixture of butter and syrup that classifies her as Summer, to him. He could smell the sea in her hair that’s now a labyrinth for his trembling fingers.

He could hear her. He could hear the sharp intake of her breath as his tongue and teeth grazes over her collarbones. He could hear her soft moans and gasps in harmony with his own. He could hear the sound of zippers being pulled down and a faint growl of irritation as she finds difficulty trying to take it off so he helps her with that.

He could taste her. He could taste the mint in her tongue, for he knows she could never get through a day without chewing mint. He could taste the salty residue of her tears but he thinks that they’re beautiful because no one has ever really cried for him, knowing that he’s too proud for that.

He could feel her. He could feel the delicateness of her skin; he could feel the hot beads of tears on her cheeks as he kisses her. He could feel her shiver against his touch, he could feel her fingers as they find their way to his shoulder blades and dig into them. He could feel the beating of her heart as his palms rest against her chest. He could feel her hands roam over his back and stomach, sending tingles and shivers throughout his body. She makes him feel things he never thought he’s capable of.

Once again, their lips find their way together and their tongues dance in a frenzy. Summer roughly grabs a handful of Alex’s hair and pulls him closer to her. As they stop to gasp for air, he lets out “What are we doing?”

Summer smiles, her eyes seem to twinkle in the dim light.

“Living.” She whispers and he laughs.

They continued where they had left off.

----------------------

“Alex?” Summer looks up from Alex’s chest where she had slept and she smiles at the half conscious Alex.

“What is it?” he murmurs, playfully twirling a runaway strand of her hair.

“I’m not the best one out there but I’ll have you know that when you feel like being controlled and tied down, I’ll be there the one who’ll try her best to help you untangle those invisible strings and I’ll do everything that I can to help you back up again. No matter how many times you get stuck, I’ll always fix you until you’re fine enough to save you from yourself.”