Escapism

Presley

I’d always dreamt of having a family, I mean a real mother-and-father, nuclear family to call my own. It’d been just a dream of mine as a girl, of course, right after I graduated from medical school and managed to pull off a small, but emotional outdoor wedding to the man I’d fantasized in my head.

Medical school never had happened. I’d gotten as far as piling on biology and chemistry courses worth college credits in high school and made it through my first year as a bio major in college as a single parent before I realized that becoming a cardiologist would be a sacrifice that I had to make for the sake of my son. Cade needed a mom, not a stressed out girl who studied monosaccharaides and polysaccharides between bottle feedings. He needed a mother’s full attention, and as a science major, I couldn’t do that.

So I’d changed my degree to teaching, and the closest I ever got to biology happened in a middle school laboratory where the only thing they studied was physical properties.

As for the wedding – that hadn’t happened either. My mother wished it had, but life hadn’t played out that way. There was no knight in shining armor, no hopeless romantic to sweep me off my feet.

The family part had though – just not in the conventional sort of way I’d planned it to. I had a son – a son I loved very, very much and who loved me. We didn’t need a father figure to have the ideal family when we were perfectly fine on our own. I had Cade, and having him in my life made up for all the mishaps in my life by tenfold and more.

Sitting in the booth, idly picking at my salad and constantly keeping my eyes trained on Alex and Cade playing some arcade game across the room, I found myself doubting the whole father-figure motto I’d built up in my head since I’d been on my own with Cade.

It was nice to see him interacting with his father – even if he didn’t fully understand it yet. He needed a male role model and Alex seemed to do really well when he was around.

“He’s his father, isn’t he?”

Looking away from the two boys making the same concentrated face – eyes slightly squinted and tongue slightly out – I saw Jenny sitting in the very spot Alex had been in.

I didn’t have to say anything for Jenny to know. “He looks just like him…” she sighed, watching the two of them. “They seem to get along well enough.”

I nodded. “Yes. Yes, they do.”

“How are you?” she asked.

I shrugged, tucking my hair behind my ear, appetite gone. “Fine. Cade just got over a cold and he hasn’t been sleeping well…”

Jen gave me a sympathetic look. “You ever need anything, Honey, don’t hesitate to call – even for a babysitter. You look like you could use some more sleep about as bad as he does,” she said, nodding toward my son.

“We’re fine.”

“I don’t believe you for a lick, but I’ll let you slip this time.” She crossed her arms on the table before taking Cade’s plate. She clicked her tongue at the barely touched food. “Come around more often…”

“You know I would if I could,” I said, eyes focusing back on Cade. He was grinning up at Alex, nose wrinkled and eyes twinkling with joy. Alex looked about just as happy – and genuine about it too.

“I’m real sorry, Presley.” Jenny stood taking Alex’s cleaned plate. “I’ll grab you and Mister Trouble maker a couple of to-go boxes.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, trying not to stare at her in fear of her seeing the tears that had unexpectedly filled my eyes.

She walked away, more than likely noticing but knowing me too well to admit that she actually saw anything.

Alex glanced back towards me as I leaned against the table, hand covering my mouth in attempt to hide the small tremble but I looked away – trying to be as nonchalant as I could.

If he saw my glassy eyes despite the distance, he didn’t come over and for that, I was thankful.



I hadn’t anticipated on letting Alex come over to the house – not so soon, at least. But Cade was excited and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen my son look so happy at the prospect of something, so I really couldn’t refuse when Cade asked and when Alex admitted he had nothing else to do.

It was just after Alex had helped me fall into Cade’s nighttime routine – pajamas, brushing of teeth, searching the house for his yellow blanket and making sure he was tucked under the striped comforter as tightly as possible – that we actually sat down to have adult conversation.

Or rather, he sat in the sun room as I gathered up the toys that had accumulated throughout the day on the floor.

“He’s a great kid,” Alex admitted. “I think I have you to thank for that.”

I felt myself shaking my head. “No, you don’t. He’s really an easy kid.”

Alex scoffed, standing to help me pick up the massive Hot Wheels collection Cade had amounted from birthdays and Christmases and random shopping splurges. “I don’t think there is such a thing. Kids are never easy, even if they seem it.”

I shrugged, unsure of what to say to that. “He really likes you, Alex. I was a little worried that you two wouldn’t get along, but I see that I was stressing over nothing…”

“Is that really all you’re stressing over?” he asked.

I found myself freezing and turning to stare at him in alarmed curiosity. “What?”

“You just seem really tense or something… I don’t know. Is it money? Are you having money problems?” he asked, concern in his dark eyes.

It was officially my turn to scoff. “I am not having financial trouble, trust me.” He looked unconvinced, so I felt myself sharing a piece of information that I didn’t normally share with people. “My father died a little after Cade was born… I inherited a substantial amount of money that I invested in this house and set aside for Cade. Trust me, Alex, if you think I’m just introducing you to him now because I want child support payments, it’s not the case.”

A moment of silence crossed between us as we returned to gathering up the toys scattered about. “I didn’t mean it to sound that way when I asked,” he said, almost sounding apologetic. “I trust you, Presley. Promise me though, if you ever would have that kind of issue, that you’ll come to me…”

I only nodded, because I didn’t want to give a verbal answer that was a blatant lie.

“I’m sorry about your father… No one ever told me…” Alex started again.

I shrugged, looking over to him with a small, sad smile. “It’s okay. It was a while ago and we kind of knew it was coming. He’d had cancer since I was twelve. He was practically a ticking time bomb.” Even with all the times I’d said it, I still couldn’t hide the raw emotion I felt.

“I’m sure it was still hard though…”

I nodded, not willing to deny that to him. “I’m really glad you decided to meet Cade.” I offered, no longer wanting to talk about the tragedy that had turned out to be my father.

I had other things to worry about – I had a son to raise, a house to pick up and a fully booked schedule tomorrow to look forward to.

“I’m really glad that I decided to meet him too.”