Status: In-Progress
A Girl With a Broken Smile
Drunk.
The club smelled as if there was a war of scents going on. Smoke, liquor and perfume clouded the air around me, making me nearly gag. It wasn’t a lovely smell at all and it was safe to say that the the perfume was losing.
After taking a few deep breathes and pushing through it we made our way through the crowd of people and up towards the bar, where Blair made herself comfortable.
“Two martinis please.” She said coolly to the bartender.
I shot her a look when he turned his back towards us, and lipped the words, ‘what are you doing?’ She just smirked and brushed me off.
I was eighteen years old and Blair was nineteen, going on twenty. It obviosly wasn’t the first time I saw her drink, nor was it the first time I drank, but it was the first time I had ever seen her get drinks from a public place like this. Usually I only saw her get drinks from parties, where there was no adults around or need for ID. Then again, I had only gone with her to a club once, so maybe she did this all the time and I just didn’t know.
Once she had our drinks she turned back to me and handed me mine before leaning in close to whisper something in my ear.
“Relax, we won’t get in trouble.” She said loud enough for me to hear over the booming music. “The guy knows me and nobody else will think twice, especially with how you’re dressed.” She laughed.
A sudden wave of self-consciousness overtook me and I quickly placed my arms against my chest, trying my hardest to feel slightly more comfortable. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, maybe I could somehow get myself out of this whole situation and go home.
No. I couldn’t do that, I made a promise and I had to go through with it. Our friendship was on the line and I couldn’t do anything to mess that up. I had to push through it; I had to.
After a few minutes of trying to work myself up, I finally took in a deep breath and practically down my drink, before returning to the bar and grabbing a couple of shots. I just had to loosen up, that’s all and what better way to do that then drinking?
“Damn girl, slow down. I want you to have fun, not black out.” Blair giggled as she took a shot from my hand it down it herself. I shot her another look, before taking the other two I held.
Honestly, I hated alcohol, but I was determined to let myself go just a little. Seeing as I didn’t drink that much, the few shots I had were already starting to affect me. I wasn’t drunk yet, but I was starting to feel it. All I wanted to do was laugh and dance, and that’s exactly what I was going to do.
Without a second thought I grabbed onto Blair’s arm and dragged out onto the dancefloor. In reality I had no idea what I was doing at all, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I just moved my body to the music, not really how stupid I looked.
An hour and five shots later, I was gone and so was Blair. I could no longer feel my legs, or my body for that matter, but I kept dancing anyways. My mind was a fuzzy haze and eyes were starting to feel heavy. After a few more minutes of dancing I decided it was best for me to take a quick break and I made my way towards the back of the club.
“I’m so going to regret this in the morning.” I mumbled to myself.
“Come on, you’re no fun! Let’s dance!” I heard a shrill voice come from around the corner. It sounded oddly familiar.
“Rebecca, I need to sit for a minute.” Another person said, and I could hear the girl let out a sigh.
I thought for a moment, wondering where I’ve heard those voices before, but my mind was so cloudy I could barely think. Suddenly it hit me; Matthew.
If I was sober I probably would have just tried to hide in the crowd or try to leave, but I was beyond drunk at this point and didn’t care what anyone really thought of me. Quickly I got to my feet and my way around the corner, sure enough there was the witch and Matthew, sitting near the food bar.
Matthew looked tired and annoyed, his head hung low as he pinched his nose. I was starting to wonder if this was something he did regularly when he was mad. Rebecca was dressed in a short gold colored dress, her breasts threatening to spill out at any moment. She looked like a slut, but then again, I probably did as well.
“Oh, it’s you.” The witch hissed, causing Matthew to glance up. He stared at me for a moment, before a look of pure shock spread across his face.
“Anna?” He questioned, his eyes darting all over my body.
“Who else would it be?” I giggled, before sitting down next to him, completely ignoring the glares I was receiving from Rebecca.
“Anna... Why are you here? And more importantly, why are you dressed like that?” His words were kind of harsh, but I just brushed them off.
“Well, Blair wanted me to have a good time and she dragged me here. She also made me wear this. Does it not look good?” I asked, puffing out my bottom lip and giving him a pair of puppy dog eyes.
He blinked a few times, unsure of what to say before running his hand through his hair and glancing away. I swore I saw a flush of pink spread across his cheeks.
“You look... You... You look drunk.” He said in an ashamed way.
I frowned slightly, but wasn’t going to let that stop me yet. I was having fun and there was no way I was going to let some stupid little comment that probably meant nothing get to me.
Slowly I picked myself off of the bench and looked down at him for a moment, waiting for him to make eye contact with me, which seemed harder than I thought. He refused to look me, his eyes darting everywhere, but never landing on me.
“What’s wrong with you?” I growled.
He didn’t reply.
“Matthew, I’m talking to you.” My blood was starting to boil at this point, I refused to be ignored, not now.
With one quick blurred motion I bent down in front of him, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me. To my surprise he didn’t pull away or make me stop, now he just stared at me with a look of pure disgust on his face.
“Why are you doing this Anna?” His sudden loud voice made me flinch and I quickly let go of his face. “You’re better than this. Don’t be like him.”
I stared at him in shock, unable to turn away. Part of me want to cry, another part wanted to slap him across the face and another part of me wanted to laugh. Laugh at the fact that for right now, in this moment I didn’t care anymore, I was finally numb to the pain that man caused me, numb to sadness I’ve felt for far too long. It was an amazing feeling, a feeling that I could do anything I wanted to. For right now, I was on top of the world.
“I don’t care anymore.” I said blankly.
“Right, like that’s going to help you. You do know that that feeling is going to be gone by tomorrow right? It’s just going to be replaced by regret and headaches.” He glared.
“You don’t know me Matthew.” Was all I was able to say.
Deep down, I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to let myself actually admit it, let alone admit it to him. I was tired of being controlled, for once in my life I felt like I was the one with the power and I wasn’t going to let him take that away from me.
“Anna... Please...” His voice was filled with defeat, but I didn’t care.
“Matthew, just stop already!” I exclaimed, causing a few people around us to stare. “Stop acting like you care, stop acting like you can save me or make some sort of difference in my life, you can’t. I’m too far gone and there’s no turning back. Besides, you have your girlfriend to worry about.”
He blinked a few times, before sighing and running his hand through his hair.
“Is this what this is about? Rebecca?” A small laugh escaped his lips and he shook his head. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my friend. Besides, what would it matter if she was my girlfriend? We hardly know each other, remember?”
Not his girlfriend? I couldn’t believe what he just said. I mean, I believed him, but I couldn’t believe that this whole time I was so jealous of her and they weren’t even dating. I made a fool out of myself for no reason at all and now he probably thinks I’m some weird jealous freak.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment, taking in what he just said. I felt stupid. I bit harder, trying to make the feeling inside of me disappear again. A taste of metal filled my mouth and I swallowed hard. I was an idiot.
“I need to go.” My words came out so soft that I could barely hear them.
“Anna wait,” I could hear Matthew say as I began to walk away. “Anna! I’m sorry!”
I’m sorry Blair, I tried my hardest to have fun, but look where it’s gotten me? I made myself look like an even bigger fool now.
All those feeling that I tried so desperately to drink away were starting to come rushing back like a stampede of elephants. My head was starting to swirl and everything around me was beginning to tilt and blur together. My legs now felt like jello, and I could barely walk. This is why I didn’t drink. Within a few seconds I found myself kneeling on the floor, people brushed past me like I wasn’t even there. Why? Why was it so hard for me to be happy?
I could no longer feel my face and my stomach began to turn. I hunched forward, waiting to get sick, but all that came out was dry heaves. Slowly I tried to get back onto my feet, but it didn’t take long for my legs to give out once more and I found myself staring at the floor again.
“Anna?” I could hear Matthews voice, but I couldn’t see him in the sea of people.
“Anna, come on, lets get you out of here.” Suddenly a pair of hands wrapped themselves around my waist and hoisted me back on to my feet. I wobbled for a moment, before allowing myself to rest my weight gently on the body next to me.
“Matthew?”
“I’m here Anna.”
After taking a few deep breathes and pushing through it we made our way through the crowd of people and up towards the bar, where Blair made herself comfortable.
“Two martinis please.” She said coolly to the bartender.
I shot her a look when he turned his back towards us, and lipped the words, ‘what are you doing?’ She just smirked and brushed me off.
I was eighteen years old and Blair was nineteen, going on twenty. It obviosly wasn’t the first time I saw her drink, nor was it the first time I drank, but it was the first time I had ever seen her get drinks from a public place like this. Usually I only saw her get drinks from parties, where there was no adults around or need for ID. Then again, I had only gone with her to a club once, so maybe she did this all the time and I just didn’t know.
Once she had our drinks she turned back to me and handed me mine before leaning in close to whisper something in my ear.
“Relax, we won’t get in trouble.” She said loud enough for me to hear over the booming music. “The guy knows me and nobody else will think twice, especially with how you’re dressed.” She laughed.
A sudden wave of self-consciousness overtook me and I quickly placed my arms against my chest, trying my hardest to feel slightly more comfortable. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, maybe I could somehow get myself out of this whole situation and go home.
No. I couldn’t do that, I made a promise and I had to go through with it. Our friendship was on the line and I couldn’t do anything to mess that up. I had to push through it; I had to.
After a few minutes of trying to work myself up, I finally took in a deep breath and practically down my drink, before returning to the bar and grabbing a couple of shots. I just had to loosen up, that’s all and what better way to do that then drinking?
“Damn girl, slow down. I want you to have fun, not black out.” Blair giggled as she took a shot from my hand it down it herself. I shot her another look, before taking the other two I held.
Honestly, I hated alcohol, but I was determined to let myself go just a little. Seeing as I didn’t drink that much, the few shots I had were already starting to affect me. I wasn’t drunk yet, but I was starting to feel it. All I wanted to do was laugh and dance, and that’s exactly what I was going to do.
Without a second thought I grabbed onto Blair’s arm and dragged out onto the dancefloor. In reality I had no idea what I was doing at all, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I just moved my body to the music, not really how stupid I looked.
An hour and five shots later, I was gone and so was Blair. I could no longer feel my legs, or my body for that matter, but I kept dancing anyways. My mind was a fuzzy haze and eyes were starting to feel heavy. After a few more minutes of dancing I decided it was best for me to take a quick break and I made my way towards the back of the club.
“I’m so going to regret this in the morning.” I mumbled to myself.
“Come on, you’re no fun! Let’s dance!” I heard a shrill voice come from around the corner. It sounded oddly familiar.
“Rebecca, I need to sit for a minute.” Another person said, and I could hear the girl let out a sigh.
I thought for a moment, wondering where I’ve heard those voices before, but my mind was so cloudy I could barely think. Suddenly it hit me; Matthew.
If I was sober I probably would have just tried to hide in the crowd or try to leave, but I was beyond drunk at this point and didn’t care what anyone really thought of me. Quickly I got to my feet and my way around the corner, sure enough there was the witch and Matthew, sitting near the food bar.
Matthew looked tired and annoyed, his head hung low as he pinched his nose. I was starting to wonder if this was something he did regularly when he was mad. Rebecca was dressed in a short gold colored dress, her breasts threatening to spill out at any moment. She looked like a slut, but then again, I probably did as well.
“Oh, it’s you.” The witch hissed, causing Matthew to glance up. He stared at me for a moment, before a look of pure shock spread across his face.
“Anna?” He questioned, his eyes darting all over my body.
“Who else would it be?” I giggled, before sitting down next to him, completely ignoring the glares I was receiving from Rebecca.
“Anna... Why are you here? And more importantly, why are you dressed like that?” His words were kind of harsh, but I just brushed them off.
“Well, Blair wanted me to have a good time and she dragged me here. She also made me wear this. Does it not look good?” I asked, puffing out my bottom lip and giving him a pair of puppy dog eyes.
He blinked a few times, unsure of what to say before running his hand through his hair and glancing away. I swore I saw a flush of pink spread across his cheeks.
“You look... You... You look drunk.” He said in an ashamed way.
I frowned slightly, but wasn’t going to let that stop me yet. I was having fun and there was no way I was going to let some stupid little comment that probably meant nothing get to me.
Slowly I picked myself off of the bench and looked down at him for a moment, waiting for him to make eye contact with me, which seemed harder than I thought. He refused to look me, his eyes darting everywhere, but never landing on me.
“What’s wrong with you?” I growled.
He didn’t reply.
“Matthew, I’m talking to you.” My blood was starting to boil at this point, I refused to be ignored, not now.
With one quick blurred motion I bent down in front of him, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me. To my surprise he didn’t pull away or make me stop, now he just stared at me with a look of pure disgust on his face.
“Why are you doing this Anna?” His sudden loud voice made me flinch and I quickly let go of his face. “You’re better than this. Don’t be like him.”
I stared at him in shock, unable to turn away. Part of me want to cry, another part wanted to slap him across the face and another part of me wanted to laugh. Laugh at the fact that for right now, in this moment I didn’t care anymore, I was finally numb to the pain that man caused me, numb to sadness I’ve felt for far too long. It was an amazing feeling, a feeling that I could do anything I wanted to. For right now, I was on top of the world.
“I don’t care anymore.” I said blankly.
“Right, like that’s going to help you. You do know that that feeling is going to be gone by tomorrow right? It’s just going to be replaced by regret and headaches.” He glared.
“You don’t know me Matthew.” Was all I was able to say.
Deep down, I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to let myself actually admit it, let alone admit it to him. I was tired of being controlled, for once in my life I felt like I was the one with the power and I wasn’t going to let him take that away from me.
“Anna... Please...” His voice was filled with defeat, but I didn’t care.
“Matthew, just stop already!” I exclaimed, causing a few people around us to stare. “Stop acting like you care, stop acting like you can save me or make some sort of difference in my life, you can’t. I’m too far gone and there’s no turning back. Besides, you have your girlfriend to worry about.”
He blinked a few times, before sighing and running his hand through his hair.
“Is this what this is about? Rebecca?” A small laugh escaped his lips and he shook his head. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my friend. Besides, what would it matter if she was my girlfriend? We hardly know each other, remember?”
Not his girlfriend? I couldn’t believe what he just said. I mean, I believed him, but I couldn’t believe that this whole time I was so jealous of her and they weren’t even dating. I made a fool out of myself for no reason at all and now he probably thinks I’m some weird jealous freak.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment, taking in what he just said. I felt stupid. I bit harder, trying to make the feeling inside of me disappear again. A taste of metal filled my mouth and I swallowed hard. I was an idiot.
“I need to go.” My words came out so soft that I could barely hear them.
“Anna wait,” I could hear Matthew say as I began to walk away. “Anna! I’m sorry!”
I’m sorry Blair, I tried my hardest to have fun, but look where it’s gotten me? I made myself look like an even bigger fool now.
All those feeling that I tried so desperately to drink away were starting to come rushing back like a stampede of elephants. My head was starting to swirl and everything around me was beginning to tilt and blur together. My legs now felt like jello, and I could barely walk. This is why I didn’t drink. Within a few seconds I found myself kneeling on the floor, people brushed past me like I wasn’t even there. Why? Why was it so hard for me to be happy?
I could no longer feel my face and my stomach began to turn. I hunched forward, waiting to get sick, but all that came out was dry heaves. Slowly I tried to get back onto my feet, but it didn’t take long for my legs to give out once more and I found myself staring at the floor again.
“Anna?” I could hear Matthews voice, but I couldn’t see him in the sea of people.
“Anna, come on, lets get you out of here.” Suddenly a pair of hands wrapped themselves around my waist and hoisted me back on to my feet. I wobbled for a moment, before allowing myself to rest my weight gently on the body next to me.
“Matthew?”
“I’m here Anna.”