A Kiss Before She Goes

Gerard is still sitting on the couch. The television is on but the sound is low. Pictures of strange, iridescent fish float on the screen, the bright colors shine onto Gerard’s face, but he doesn’t see them.

Gerard can hear Mikey crying softly in his room. Every quiet sob that travels down the stairs to Gerard tears him up inside. This is his brother. His baby brother. And the talk they had had earlier served no purpose in Gerard’s opinion, it had only worried him more.

The part of this that absolutely destroys Gerard is that Mikey couldn’t talk to him. Wouldn’t talk to him. This makes Gerard very nervous because they have always been close. Always. They are the closest set of brothers that Gerard has ever met. Mikey has always come to Gerard with his problems, he has done it all his life. And Gerard, in turn, has gone to Mikey.

Gerard values the relationship he has with his brother more than any other relationship he has ever had. More than anything he could have with his parents. More than the friendships he has or used to have. More than any of the number of girlfriends, or boyfriends, that he had thought he loved.

Gerard has often felt that Mikey is the only person who really understands him. Mikey knows every horrible thing that Gerard has done, or even thought about doing, and yet he still loves him. Mikey just got him. And Gerard thought he got his brother too, but he isn’t so sure anymore.
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Gerard is sleeping, still on the couch, when his phone rings. Bohemian Rhapsody cuts through the air like a knife. Gerard throws his arms up, shielding his face as he rolls off the couch and assumes his ‘duck and cover’ position. Realizing what is going on, Gerard answers his phone with a sheepish “Hello?”

“Hey!” Frank’s voice practically shouts.

“Hey Frankie. What’s up?”

“Not too much man. I just wanted to see what you were doing. Jamia’s just gone out, so I could stop by or something.” Frank is speaking fairly quickly, and Gerard can see him in his mind, tapping his feet, eyes wide as he devours whatever sugary treat may be in front of him. If Gerard listens closely he can actually hear Frank munching on something.

Gerard thinks for a moment. Thinks about Mikey upstairs in his room. Gerard can’t hear his brother crying anymore, but he feels like any visitors, even Frankie, may push him over the edge.

“Um, I don’t think right now is a good time Frank. Mikey isn’t doing to well right now.”

“Oh? Is he still all… I don’t know. Whatever he was before? I don’t really have any idea what that was.” Frank sounds as if he is trying very hard not to offend Gerard or Mikey. This makes Gerard smile. This smile is what makes him change his mind.

“Mikey’s just having a hard time with something; I’m not sure what though. But, uh, I think getting out of the house might do me some good. Would you maybe want me to come round yours?”

Gerard can practically hear Frank smile through the phone.

“Okay, Great! See you soon then.” And Frank is gone.

Gerard puts his cell phone down on the table in front of him. He is certain that going to
Frank’s place will lighten his spirits, but feels badly that he will be doing nothing to solve his brother’s problems. Gerard quickly convinces his inner monologue that he isn’t helping Mikey while he’s sitting at home anyway, so maybe his decision will not destroy his brother.

Gerard quietly walks up the stairs to his room. He changes his clothes, pulling on black jeans that are ripped in the knees and just below the back pocket, and a red Iron Maiden t-shirt under a matching hoodie. Gerard reapplies his eyeliner before grabbing his keys off of his bed. With a glance at Mikey’s closed door, Gerard scribbles a little note detailing his whereabouts and leaves it on the table. He hesitates for a moment, and then he is out the door.
________________

Frank sees Gerard pull into the drive and is struck with sudden inspiration. Smiling to himself, he opens the door to his hall closet and slips inside. Gerard has his own key to Frankie’s place, just as Frankie has a key to Gerard’s, and Frank is one hundred percent certain that his friend will let himself in.

Gerard climbs the front stairs and rings the bell. Frankie clamps a hand over his mouth as he starts to giggle. Gerard rings the bell again. Frank feels his body shake with laughter, the coats that are surrounding him mimic his actions. Gerard finally, with a look of exasperation, opens the door with his key. He stands in the front hall for a moment, rolling his hazel eyes as he stares at the closet nearest him.

“Frank, the closet door is shaking, and even if it wasn’t, I can hear you laughing.”

Gerard smiles as his friend bursts out in a fit of screaming laughter. Frankie’s face is red, his eyes are streaming as he is overcome by the hilarity of the situation.

“Hey Frank.” Gerard sighs as he pulls the shorter man into his arms for a hug.

Frank quiets his laughter just long enough to say hello to Gerard. Gerard continues on his way towards the kitchen, having heard Frank say something about coffee between his now softening giggles.

Frank motions for Gerard to sit, which he does, while Frank pulls two cups from the cabinet.
Gerard feels as if his body is being rejuvenated with every breath he takes, the strong scent of coffee winding its way through the air and filling his nose. Frankie hands Gerard a steamy cup before taking a seat at the table himself.

“I’m glad you came over, Gee.”

Gerard smiles.

“Yeah, I am too. I needed to get out of my house, so I’m really glad you called when you did.”

Frank places his hand over Gerard’s, which is currently resting on the table.

“Well, I’m happy to help you Gee. In any way that I can.”

Gerard looks into Frank’s green eyes, knowing that he can tell this man anything. Frank has definitely proven himself to be a best friend to Gerard time and time again. Frank crosses his eyes and smiles when Gerard starts to laugh.

“C’mon, let’s go watch a movie or something. I think there’s this cool documentary on the history channel about the origins of Dracula.”

Gerard follows Frankie into the living room slowly, giving his friend a wide berth as he seems to be bouncing into the room as opposed to walking. Gerard takes a seat next to Frank, who has since stopped bouncing, on the couch in front of the television. Frank digs the remote out from between the couch cushions and quickly sets the TV to the correct channel. The deep, thickly accented, British voice of the narrator fills the room as the two men get more comfortable on the couch.

It is about half an hour into the show before Frank turns to Gerard.

“This isn’t what I thought it would be, I think.”

Gerard nods in agreement.

“Do you want to watch a movie then?”

Gerard simply nods again.

Frank reaches on top of the television and pulls a DVD down.

“Psycho okay?”

Another nod.

“Great.”

Frankie pushes the DVD into the player and heads back to the couch. Frank scoots closer
to Gerard than he had been sitting previously. No matter how many times he watches these movies, he still jumps at certain points. Anytime there is suspenseful music or something happens unexpectedly or suddenly, count on Frank to jump and/or scream. Gerard knows this about Frank. How could he not? He has spent many a late night camped out on the couch watching Frank get scared as he watched a movie.

Frank slowly slips his hand into Gerard’s as Norman Bates peers through a peephole into another motel room. Gerard puts his arm around Frank’s shoulder, pulling him even closer.

Gerard and Frank have always had a complex relationship. They are best friends, that is certain, yet sometimes they are a bit more. Sometimes they kiss, and sometimes they touch, and sometimes they fuck. It is nothing more than that.

Frank and Gerard are not, nor have they ever been boyfriends.

They have always thought, perhaps correctly, that going any further, going past casual sex and the comfortable, yet indescribable relationship that they have would ruin their friendship. And their friendship is much too important to jeopardize. Besides, Frank knows that he will not fall in love with Gerard. He loves Gerard intensely, but he will always and forever be in love with Jamia. Gerard has known this from the beginning, as well as the fact that Jamia was good for Frank. He has a feeling that if he ever breaks them up, he can add that to the list of reasons why he is going to hell.

Frank leans his head back and meets Gerard’s lips in a soft kiss. Gerard swipes his tongue across Frank’s full bottom lip, and Frank obliges, opening his mouth. Their hands travel over each other’s bodies, first above clothes and then below. Frank’s breathing quickens as Gerard’s hand rubs him through his boxers.

Frank moves so he is straddling Gerard’s hips. He kisses the column of Gerard’s throat, down his chest and attaches his mouth to the older man’s nipple.

“You know I’m only doing this so I don’t have to watch the scary parts.” Frank says with a wide grin as he moves his mouth lower. He trails kisses down Gerard’s body from just below his chest to just above his boxers, which are quickly pulled down and thrown to the floor. Gerard throws his head back, his eyes closed in pleasure as Frankie takes him into his mouth. He tangles fingers in Frank’s hair, looking down at his best friend’s head between his legs. Gerard blinks. And in the millisecond that his eyes are closed, everything changes.

The head between his legs now has hair that is a lighter shade of brown. Gerard gasps and the face looks up. Hazel eyes meet oddly similar hazel eyes. Gerard blinks again, and just like it had before, everything changes. Frank’s fingers slide up Gerard’s body to take the older man’s hand. Gerard squeezes the hand in his tightly.

Gerard relaxes his body, allows himself to be caught up in the sensations.

But in his mind? In his mind, all he can think about is how he just pictured himself getting head from his younger brother. He just pictured himself getting head from his younger brother…and he loved it.