My Personal Never Ending

"Youre worthless, unloved, and you will never amount to anything , not even your older brother! You are unloved by everyone! Youre weak for cutting, all you want is attention, not even your best friend loves you." The words flashed on the screen as tears ran down my face. My mouth hung open, no sound was made. Just silence. I reached over to the side of my bed and grabbed my green box. I opened it and pulled out my pencil sharpener blade. I staired at it as I saw the words "Jared is typing" he wasnt finished just yet. I didnt even bare to look a what he had written. I took the blade between my fingers and sliced it across the skin of my arm repeatedly. Soon as my arm was covered in cuts and blood , I switched the blade to my other hand and cut my other arm until both of them looked identical. I slowly put the blade away and staired at my computer screen. The words popped up. Atleast five sentances at a time. He continued on about how I was worthless and that he never loved me. I sat there on my bed. letting the tears burn my eyes as they built up and slid down my already red and warm cheeks. I slid my lap top to end of my bed and layed down. As soon as my head touched my pillow I blacked out. My arms still bleeding. I silently hope I would never wake up. That my name would flash across the TV screne in the morning on the local news. The news caster explaining what I had done and how I would never wake up again. That he would sit and watch, and feel the guilt build inside and realize what he had caused. But when I opened my eyes to the sound of "You are the heart" by Blood on the Dance Floor which at the time was my phone alarm. I realized I had lived through the night . I looked down to see my blood dried and stuck to the skin of both my arms. I sighed and got up out of bed. Grabbing my phone with me. I unlocked it, and opened my music player. I put my music on shuffle and listened to the begining of " Where's my Wonderland" - Blood on the Dance Floor, play throught the speaker. I walked into the bathroom and set down my phone as I turned on the shower , setting the water on warm/hot and stripped off my night clothes. I stepped into the slightly burning water and winced as the water burned on my open wounds. I staired at the running water on the shower floor and staired at the red blood that went down the drain with it. I slowly began to wash my hair and body, no sooner had I stepped out and dried off. I wrapped a towl tightly around my self and walked back to my bed room. I changed into some new night clothes and sat on my bed. I grabbed my lap top and opened it. I found I had left open my facebook chat with Jared and I saw the several apologies he had left me. I noticed he was still singed on. I opened up youtube and copied the links to two songs. "Go screw yourself"- Avery and "Get over it" - Avril Lavigne. I silently logged off, slide my lap top back to the end of my bed. Layed down and went to sleep. As I did I heard a voice tell me "Its not your time to leave yet dear. When it is and that time will come, it will happen the way it should. Naturally. Go to sleep, dry your tears and raise that frown. You have a life to live you know." I recoginized the voice as my dead grandfathers. I tried to open my eyes but something kept me from doing so. I soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep to await the next day. Alive and healthy. Like I should be.