The Electricity in My Veins

It was abnormal. The way he watched me watch him and I watched him watching me back. I took in the way he crossed and uncrossed his legs impatiently switching between my face and the door. He took in the way I squeezed my hands together digging my nails into my knuckles and we sat in silence. I watched as his hand rummaged around in his pocket, his eyes staring above my head at the clock on the wall. I observed as he retrieve a white square box and then my eyes were back on his face.

“You smoke?” he broke the thick silence as he slid a thin white stick out of the box and placed it to his lips. He pointed the box at me next.

“I’m fifteen.” He slid the box back into his jeans and then leaned forward reaching into his back pocket pulling out a batman shaped lighter.

“I started at twelve.” He covered the lighter with his left hand as he lit the cigarette.

“Can I leave now?” Inhale deeply.

“Two more hours.” Exhale.

“We could just tell mom we hung out for the whole day and I could go home and you could do whatever you wanted. It’d be our secret.” Inhale.

“No, I won’t lie to my future wife.” Exhale toxic smoke.

“Not a real lie! A white lie they’re different.” Inhale deeply.

“How so?” Exhale.

“White lies save others and real lies save you.” Inhale.

“They’re the same no matter how you put it.” Exhale toxic smoke. It wasn’t like I hated my mom’s boyfriend or anything. It’s just I didn’t know how to act around him. He was cool and kind but we were weird together. We couldn’t mush like PB&J no matter how much we tried. We were like fire and smoke instead, two things that were always together as they brought destruction down wherever they touched.

“Only one-hundred and nineteen minutes left Alice.” Inhale deeply.