Two Worlds

I awoke with the sun beaming down on my skin warming me. My nightmare from last night came running back like a bad scene from a car crash. Why am I plagued with this? I just want to be a normal person. A wave of embarrassment settle over me as I sat up on the edge of the bed. Brian was the first one to come into my room when I was pulled out of another screaming nightmare. I wished he hasn't seen that because he'll most likely question me about it. I just want to run away from it all but I know that's not possible. I have no where to go and no one to turn to. I checked my phone for the time and it was early. No one would be up and put of bed yet since it was only 7. I got dressed and went out on the small patio overlooking the ocean. The salty air seemed to evaporate all the embarrassment but it brought something all too familiar to me. Depression. Why am I so messed up? Why did all those things with my parents have to happen to me? I just don't understand.

"You're up early." I turned quickly at Brian's voice as he lit up a cigarette.

"Couldn't sleep anymore."

"How come?" He asked sitting down at the round glass table with me.

"Just couldn't."

"Jade, you might think you're a hard person to read but you're not. What's troubling you?" He questioned.

"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine." I shook my head with a fake smile on my face as he put the cigarette down in the ashtray.

"If this has anything to do with the nightmare you had last night..."

"I don't want to talk about. So please don't ask me to." I said stopping him before he could finish his sentence.

"It might help if you did."

"I said no. Don't treat me like I'm a child!" I yelled angrily at Brian before walking out of the backyard and down to the white sandy beach that bordered the ocean.

I sighed loudly to myself. I don't know for the life of me why I just yelled at him like that. Brian means well and he's just trying to be a good friend to me. A ran a hand through my hair and shook my head at myself. I'm such an idiot.

"Running away from your problems won't fix them."

"I know Brian. I just don't want to talk about this." I said as he sat down beside me again.

"I know it's hard. I mean I don't know what you went through with your parents but you have new ones that love you more than anything in this world."

"That's right you don't know." I said hanging my head just feeling so terrible about the way I spoke to him just a few minutes ago.

"There are tons of people in your life now that would listen to your problems and would be behind you 110 percent to solve those problems."

"How am I supposed to talk about something that's just so confusing to me?" I asked and I could feel the years coming bac but I pushed them away.

"I'm not sure. Let's get you back to the house. It's a little chilly out here this morning. Matt and Val both will kill me if you got sick." I nodded my head and Brian helped me stand to my feet. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders keeping me close to him.

The smell of his cologne and Marlboro cigarettes invaded my senses as we walked back up to the house. We went inside just as Val was coming down the stairs. It was apparent that she had just woken up. Hre robe was tied around her waist and he hair was pulled into a messy ponytail.

"I never thought I would see the day that Brian Haner Jr was up early in the morning." Val said chuckling as we went into the kitchen.

"Had a hard time going back to sleep."

"I did for a while. How are you feeling Jade?" She asked turning her attention to me while she put on a fresh pot of coffee.

"I'm fine."

"That's good. Brian I don't feel much like cooking this morning, could you go and bring back something for us?" She asked while digging through her purse and pulling out some money.

"Sure. I'll be back in a minute." Val handed him the money for breakfast but he refused to take it saying that he could pay but she was very insistent. Brian left the kitchen and I followed right behind him.

"Brian...thanks for what you said. You've given me a lot to think about." I said truthfully. Brian placed his hand on my shoulder.

"And I meant what I said. Whenever you feel like talking, call me anytime day or night." I nodded slightly smiling. A smile came to his face before he left the house. I've got so much to think about.