Two Worlds

Ever since I came here to the Center for Abused and Neglected Children, they've filled my head with nothing but lies. Everyone says that a family will take me but I don't believe it. I've been here since I was 12 and I'm now 15. If someone was going to take me into their home, that person would have already. When I first got here I was so scared because of all the people. The police had got in touch with the center and I had to go to court to testify against what my parents had done to me and it wasn't easy. In the end my parents were sentenced to 34 years in prison and all their rights were taken away to have me. I was never going to see my parents again but why would I want too. My counselor, Krystyn Raye, has helped me a whole lot with getting over what my parents have done to me but I'm not 100 percent. I would say that I'm not even 50 percent recovered from what happened. I mean the doctor here has gotten me fully off the drugs they injected me with but the mental part of them making me take the drugs and giving me to different druggies goes farther down. I don't think even a lifetime could help me get over that.

Today is group therapy and I'm so not looking forward to this. Every Friday afternoon, all the people my age go into oe room with a doctor who looks like a 70's sex pervert and we talk about what's happened and how we are. Then we have our little therapy meditatios and I don't participate at all. I just fake like I'm doing it so they'll get off my fucking back. A knock came to the door as I finished up another one of my many drawings and Krystyn came in with a huge smile on her face.

"Hello Jade! I'm here to escort you to the session."

"I'm really not in the mood that shit today. Can I just stay here and be in peace for once?" I said almost begging.

"I'm sorry Jade but you knwo the rules."

"I know but can't you just bend the rules a little and say that I'm not feeling well or some shit." I said again and now I am begging.

"I'm sorry but I could get into a lot of trouble so come on." I hung my head and got to my feet and followed her down to the therapy room. She opened the door and went in taking my seat and folding my arms over my chest. Everyone else piled in not minutes later and the doctor entered the room casually. He took his seat in front of all of us.

"Today I think we'll do something different. I want everyone to tell one thing that they would change in their life if they could. Jade, why don't you start us off." I rolled my eyes and stood to my feet.

"If I could change one thing in my life it would be out to get out of here." I said quickly and sat back down in my seat.

"Why do you feel that way?"

"Because I can." I said rolling my eyes.

"If you weren't here, what would you be doing?"

"Who cares? I don't give 2 shits." I said harshly.

"Jade you know we don't allow that language here."

"I don't give a fuck what you allow or what you don't allow. I will say what I want to say and if you don't like it...well then you're shit out of luck." I said leaning forward in my seat as I spoke.

"Jade, while you're here you will treat this will respect. I know you don't like it here but there are people who have been here longer than you. Now moving along, Lynard will you please tell us what you would change?" I rolled my eyes and sat back not listening to anymore the fucking doctor had to say. I swear to God I wish I could get out of here or just go back to my room where I would have some peace and fucking quiet.

After about an hour of just sitting there and being bored off my ass, the session was over. I got up from my seat as the other's started leaving.

"Jade I need to speak with you." I stopped in my tracks and sat back down as the others left the room.

"Jade is something bothering you today?"

"Like you care." I said as he sat down beside me.

"I do care. If I didn't I wouldn't have asked."

"Whatever." I said moving over one seat. I can't stand someone so close to me like that.

"Seriously, is there something on your mind?"

"Nope and I wouldn't tell anything anyways. I just don't want to come to these stupid sessions." I said honestly.

"These sessions are here to help people."

"Talking about what happened isn't going to make it go away or easier to talk about." I said looking over at him.

"It's not supposed too. It's supposed to help you get over what happened."

"Well it doesnt help. Now can I just go." I said looking away.

"You can go but just try and have respect for the other people here that are being helped by these group meetings." I got up without a word and left the room where Krystyn was standing there waiting.

"What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything but express my opinion and he got all mad." I said shrugging.

"What did you say?"

"He asked if there I could change one thing in my life and I said I would want to be out of here. Then he asks me why I would say that and what would I do if I wasn't here and I simply said I didn't care and he got all mad and shit. I might have cussed a little bit." I explained and she looked at me with a you-didn't look.

"You know you can't cuss here. I mean I'm leaniate on you when you're around me but you can't do that around other people."

"I know but I just couldn't control it. I just want to lay down." I said as we got to my room. I went in and immediately laid down in my bed and waited for lunch time to get here. I just wish I could get the hell out of here. I don't like having to go to a damn group therapy session and talking to these people.

Lunch came and went and I spent the rest of the day outside enjoying the Texas sunlight. It wasn't overbearingly hot but it was enough to make me sweat but who cares about the sweat? I've spent most of my life in worse conditions than just a little sweat. When the was setting, Krystyn came out and got me and I laid down in bed looking out the window at the sunset. It didn't take long after the stars lit up the night sky that I fell asleep.