Don't Leave.

I stood standing on the edge of the cliff overlooking the city. I watched as all the city lights began to illuminate as the sun began to set. I had lived here my whole life and I had no plans on leaving anytime soon. I had plenty of opportunities to leave but I had too much holding me here.
I pulled up my scarf as the chilly fall wind bit at my exposed skin. A small smile formed on my lips at all the memories that I had here. Most of the memories I had were with Jason, we had been together for the past 3 years. I met him my senior year in high school, we always joked around saying we wasted 3 years of high school just walking by each other.
Jason completed me in every way, he was my other half. I loved the way his hand fit into mine or the way he would hold me when we cuddled. He knew what to say and what to do when I was having an off day. I don’t think I could find anyone better than him. I think it was safe to say that I could actually picture a future with him.
I was currently waiting for him, he had been a bit off these past couple of weeks. I knew better than to push, he would tell me when he was ready. I had a feeling he was ready to get whatever it was off his chest, he told me he needed to tell me something. I was hoping that after this he would stop acting strange.
I could hear footsteps being dragged in the dirt. I turned around and saw Jason making his way over. He had on a sweater with his hood pulled up, both of his hands were shoved into his pockets. As he got closer I notice he had on a beanie that hid his light brown hair. His dark brown eye looked distant.
“Hey,” I said softly as I hugged him and gave him a quick kiss. I watched him as he looked down.
“How’s your day been?” He asked
“Its been good and yours?” I asked
“I’ve had better days,” He sighed and I nodded. I hugged him again and pressed my ear closely to his chest. He didn’t relax like he usually would, I looked up at him. He looked so torn.
“So what did you want to tell me?” I asked as I pulled away and he held my hands.
“Audrey,” He said and he took in a deep breath, “These past 3 years you’ve been nothing but good to me. I cherish all the good memories you’ve given me. You’re a great person.”
I kept eye contact with him and started becoming nervous as to where he was going with this.
“You’re just not the right one for me, I think it’s time that I let you go,” He said and I felt my eyes become clouded with tears.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I asked, I didn’t understand we were doing so good.
“Yes,” He answered
“Why? I don’t understand,” my voice cracked and the tears started to fall, “Was it something I did?”
“No, it has nothing to do with what you’ve done. You’re a great person Audrey, its just-” He paused
“Just what?” I said not even caring that I was crying.
“I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore,” He said
“Is there someone else?” I asked and the look in his eyes said it all. I kept crying, I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. “Jason, you’re everything to me. You’re my best friend, the only shoulder I could cry on other than my parents. I can’t do this without you, you’re the only one I turn to. You know me better than anyone.”
“I know Audrey but you’re a strong person, you’ll be able to get through this.” He said
“I can’t Jason, please don’t do this. Just tell me what I can do, just please don’t leave me, I love you.” I started to beg him.
“Don’t do this Audrey. I can’t help how I feel and I’m sorry.” He said and I just started sobbing. He pulled me into a hug, even now it wasn’t the same.
“Please don’t,” I manage to get out. “I need you more than the air around me.”
“I’m sorry,” He said and he pulled away. “It hurts me to know that I’ve caused you pain but I hope that one day we can be friends.”
“Jason,” I whispered and he kissed my forehead and walked away. I watched as he walked away and the tears only came faster. I turned away and just started sobbing. All the signs were there but I ignored it, I ignored it all because I only wanted to see all the positive aspects of our relationship.
Images of how he would turn his head when I tried to kiss him. Of how he wouldn’t always call me or how he would always be texting when I was with him. He never held my hand unless I grabbed his. How could I be so stupid? I felt so worthless and so lonely.
I meant it when I said he was all I had. Even the little amount of friends I did have through high school all went to universities across the country. I dropped down to my knees and hands. I continued to cry and my chest began to ache. The more it hurt the harder it was to breathe. He left me, he made the break up quick. A part of me knew he made it that way because it was just as hard for him as it was for me, but another part was screaming at me that I was just a waste of his time. I fell to my side and laid there, I made no effort to stop the tears or the sobs that escaped from my mouth. The only thing I wanted more at the moment was to disappear.

I opened my eyes to and looked around it was night already, I had cried myself to sleep. The only reason why I woke up was because my phone was ringing. I had 5 missed calls all from 3 from my mom, 1 from Jason’s mom, and another from my dad. I looked at the time, I had been sleeping up here for 3 hours.
I walked over to my car and once I was situated I called my mom.
“Audrey where have you been?” My mom asked worried
“I fell asleep up on the mountain.” I said my voice was a lot more hoarse than I had anticipated
“You’re still on the mountain,” I could hear her voice crack followed by shuffling sounds.
“Sweetie we need you to come home,” My dad said
“Okay I’m on my way.” I said hanging up. I stared ahead for a while before I turned on my car and drove home. The whole way all I could think about was Jason’s face and everything he had told me. I held in the tears that so desperately wanted to fall out. As I pulled into the driveway I notice Jason’s parents car parked by the sidewalk. Was everyone worried about me? I was confused, if they knew then how come they just didn’t send someone up to go get me. Did they think I was missing? Jason could have easily told them where he last saw me. When I opened the door to my house I saw my parents and Jason’s parents. I gave them a small smile, I didn’t want to make things weird by bringing up the fresh break up. I don’t think I could say it without breaking down.
“Audrey please have a seat,” My dad said I made my to the recliner. I looked at Jason’s parents they looked distressed.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I didn’t mean to worry anybody, it just happened.” I said and I could feel a knot in my throat. I looked down as I fidgeted with my hands. Suddenly the room felt very small.
“It’s okay,” My mom said
“Audrey we want to talk to you about Jason.” My dad said I gave him a slight nod. “Honey Jason had a car accident earlier.”
I looked up at him immediately.
“Is he okay? Is he at the hospital, is he at home?” I said starting to get up.
“Please let me finish,” My dad said I slowly sat back down. “The car accident was pretty bad, so on the way to the hospital-”
“No,” I said firmly, I already knew what he was going to say.
“Sweetie I’m sorry but Jason passed away on the way to the hospital.” My dad said and I opened my mouth to say something but my bottom jar only started to shake. I got up and gripped my hair. I was crying, I felt my dads strong arm wrap around me.
“No its not possible,” I cried, “I saw him earlier, he talked to me. He’s not gone, he didn’t leave.”
I couldn’t control myself.
“I’m so sorry,” My dad held me. I let out mangled screams as I cried
“Jason! Please God no. I need him, I need him” I yelled and my dad was the only reason why I hadn’t fallen to the floor.
“I need him, I need him,” My cries quieted down
“I know baby, I know,” My dad said and his grip never loosened. I continued to cry. The pain was still there. He had stopped loving me, but he was taking my heart to the grave. He left me with a broken heart. He left me empty.