The Rain Still Makes You Smile

**A Few Months Later**

"Come on Alex, it's time." Nelly said. She lead me down a hall to a room. See, today was my test day. I'd shown signs of improvement so they wanted to test me, to see if they could release me. She walked me in and left me, closing the door behind her. I looked to the middle of the room. There was a table, laying on it, a sliver gun. I stared it at, before stepping closer to it, before I was right beside the table. My fingers brushed the metal, it was.... cool and.... inviting. I didn't notice my hands were shaking until I picked up the small contraption. If I just pressed it to my temple. If I pulled the trigger...but of course they wouldn't actually put bullets in it. I placed it back with no attempt to hurt myself, stepped back, I swear, I was panicking. There could be the chance it actually did have bullets in it. My heart was pounding, but I went to the wall and waited. A few minutes later a new door opened and I walked inside. The doctor left me to myself. I looked at this new spot to kill myself. A noose, this one was interesting. I walked over to the chair and fit my head into the noose, before pulling it out and stepping down. I just felt... right to have my head in there. I sat calmly in the chair, waiting for the next room. But the doctor didn't come. Five minutes gone... Ten... Fifteen... Nothing. I stood and walked to a wall, and a door slid open. I stepped through the door, my breath catching in my throat. The doctor left the room and I sprinted to the table. Hundreds of blades, razors, glass, sharp enough to slice your skin? It's there. I scooped up handfuls of the things, my body was shaking. I looked around, nobody was coming to stop me. I pulled up my pant leg, sitting. I dropped the blades onto the ground- or- in my lap. I picked one and turned it over in my hands, still- nobody was stopping. I hunched over to see my leg, a smile spread across my lips. A real smile, too. I brought the blade to my skin and sliced through it, closing my eyes and tipping my head back. The blood creeped up to surface and I felt it roll down my leg, sounds of utmost ecstasy coming from my lips. Suddenly I couldn't help but laugh. I sliced up and down my leg. And nobody came. I wasn't satisfied until my body was covered. Different shapes, sizes, depths, shoulders and down, covered. I had a thin layer of blood covering my body, but things were getting hazy, I wasn't really thinking right, but I kept on laughing. Finally, things went back, and I was down for the count.