Burst Into Flames

"I know, I didn't fucking mean it, Lise! God!" Tony yelled, throwing a shoe across the room.

"Y-y-Tony! Fucking calm down! You fucking said it, all I did was comment on it, holy fuck!" I threw my hands up in defeat.

He was drunk, he'd been drunk for the past two days, "Just leave." He said, sitting on his bed giving me a look.

I stood there, shock and anger flowing fast through my veins. I grabbed my bag, "Don't expect me to be back any time soon." I said through clenched teeth, flipping him off as I stormed out the door.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed Mike's number, "Yeah, Mikey. Can I come over? I think we need to.. talk."

~*~

I curled up into Mike's chest, sighing.

"I missed you, a lot." He smiled into my neck, breathing in my smell.

Rolling up in the blankets, I drifted off to sleep, "I missed you too."

Sun filtered through my closed eyes as I woke up. I snuggled into Ton- shit. I opened my eyes fast, pushing off of Mike's body. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, my throat closing. Fuck, I was fucked.

"Lise?" He grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

I closed mine tightly, wanting to open them and be anywhere but here, "Yeah." I whispered.

"Wh-you're still here." He smiled up at me sleepily.

"Yeah," I whispered again.

"Shit. You can't- we can't tell Tony. Shit," He put his head in his hands, groaning.

"Yeah," Was all I could get to come out.

He recoiled, throwing my clothes at me, "Lise, fuck. I should'v- I.. this shouldnt've have happened."

It felt like I'd been slapped, "Yeah."

I grabbed my clothes and threw them on, putting my phone in my pocket and wiping at the tears that were flowing freely now.

Mike looked over at me with what seemed to be sympathy and smiled tightly, "Hey, I'll be gone in two days anyway."

I looked up fast, "W-what?"

"I'm going to rehab." He rubbed the back of his neck and handed me my jacket- Tony's jacket.

"Oh," I whispered. I couldn't seem to form a proper sentence. I couldn't form a proper thought, except 'fuck'.

~*~

When I got home, I called out for Christy. She wasn't home, which was weird, but I decided to take advantage of that. I picked out some pajamas and went to the shower, turning it on basically scalding.

I found a dull razor and broke the blade out of it. Adrenaline thudded through my body, I hadn't done this since I moved to Colorado.

A half smile formed on my lips as I placed the blade on my thigh, sliding it back fast. The blood beaded up, spilling over the sides. I did it multiple times, each deeper than the first. My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my self-pity trance.

"Hello?" I said dully.

"Lise?" I heard someone whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Lise, it's Tony. I-," He sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldnt've been a prick about it. I really didn't mean it, Mike's a good guy. He-he'd never do that to me."

I felt a sob rising in my throat, "Right, he's the best."

I heard his chuckle, "Yeah. So, what're you doing?"

I let the sob slide out of my throat as tears fell from both sides. My phone fell from my hands, crashing onto the floor. It sounded a lot louder than it was. I reached down to touch my thigh, rubbing the blood over the rest of my leg.

I heard Tony shouting from the floor, so far away. All I could concentrate on was breathing, in and out. After what seemed like an eternity, the bathroom door opened. I was a mess by then; naked, covered in blood, and crying.

"Lise, holy shit." Tony mumbled, wrapping me in a towel and carrying me to my room. He put me on my bed, trying to clean the blood off the best he could, "What the fuck, Elise?" He shouted.

I jumped, the loudness of his voice made me cry harder.

"What the fuck." He repeated under his breath, "Was this because of what I said?!" He nearly screamed. A frightened look on his face.

I couldn't catch my breathe I was crying so hard. He put a hand on my face, caressing it.

"Baby, look at me." He kissed me lightly but desperately, "I love you. I love you so much. I need you to promise me right here, right now that this will never fucking happen again."

I nodded, trying to form the words to tell him, "To-ony, I sl-lept with Mike." I hiccuped out.

He took his hand off my face, standing up, "What?"

I closed my eyes, sighing, "Mike and I had s-sex."

The look of pure hurt that settled on his face was devastating. He stepped back, almost knocking over my end table, "What?"

I looked away, not wanting to look into his eyes anymore.

"Fucking look at me!" He screamed, "What the fuck do you mean, you had sex with Mike?!" He punched my wall, cracking the drywall.

I sat up, the towel coming unwrapped, "Tony, calm do-"

"Don't tell me to calm down. Do not tell me to calm down." He said threateningly.

I recoiled, trying to hide my face with my hair.

"No. Look at me. I can't- I thought we had a damn good thing!" He said, punching the wall again.

I tried to stand up, tried to reach out to touch him, but he was gone. He ran out of my room, slamming the door. I could hear him throwing stuff as he made his way to the front door, slamming that too.

I looked down at my body, naked and covered in blood.

~*~

"Lise?" Mike whispered.

I looked over at him, noticing him staring at my uncovered wrist. I pulled my sleeve down fast, but not fast enough. He grabbed my hand and held it wrist side up.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. This." His grip became almost painful.

I winced, "N-nothing."

"Lise, why do you have cuts on your wrist?" He said, desperation in his voice.

I looked down, "Because, Mike. I-I can't.. I hate myself." I said, sighing in defeat.

He let go, looking away. I saw tears form in his eyes, "Why?"

I couldn't think of a straight answer, "I don't know."

"Just, never ever do this again. Ever." He said firmly. I nodded, pulling my sleeve down so no one else would see them.

~*~

I woke up on my bed, alone. For about seven seconds I was happy, blissfully so. I'd slept the best I had in a long time. After those seconds were up, though, everything that'd happened hit me.

I sat up fast, trying to find clothes to wear. I threw on a band tee and some jeans, wincing as the pant leg rubbed against my cuts. My phone was on the floor in the bathroom, my call with Tony'd never ended.

I put it against my ear, "I'm sorry, Tony." Knowing he couldn't hear me, I turned off my phone and sighed.