Do I Turn Out Alright?

[Alex]

I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about Sapphire and Matt. It wasn't that I didn't trust either of them, I did, with my life. I just know what it's like to be around an ex you'd been with for a long time, and have a lot of history with, and have those old feelings come back before either of you realize what happened. That happened with Lisa and I for years.

I just had this fear every time I saw the two of them talking side stage during a show or on the bus. Would Sapphire think she made a mistake and attempt to get Matt back? Or would they do what her and I did, mess around my back this time instead of Matt's? I know Sapphire told me that I was who she wanted, but I was nervous and I feel like I had every right to be.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" Jack asks me. I look away from the spot on the dressing room wall that I had been staring at for the last hour it feels like but was really probably just ten minutes.

"Do you think I should be worried about Matt and Sapphire getting close again?" I ask, knowing he'd have something to say to put my mind at ease. Or at least I hope he did.

"Alex," He says, sighing. "There is one week left of tour. Do you really want to spend it worrying about a girl that is completely head over heels in love with you cheating on you with the guy she dumped for you, or do you want to party and have some fun with previously mentioned girl? And me of course." I laugh a little. "Look, I've talked to Sapphire, okay? She cares about Matt, yes, but she doesn't want him like that anymore, she wants you, bro."

"So I should stop worrying?" I ask, making him nod his head.

"Yes, you should. You should stop worrying and go out there and find your girl and show her that you love her." He points at the door, making me grin. I stand up from my seat.

"Yes, Jack." With that I turn and leave the dressing room, making my way down the hall and to the side stage area where Sapphire was sifting through a box of wires and cords. "Hey, babe." I greet, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder. She turns her head and smiles at me. "What ya doin?"

"Looking for something for Matt. He's like super stressed right now, there's a lot to do before show time." She tells me, making me nod.

"Well after you find it, wanna go with me to the bus?" I ask, kissing her shoulder, moving my lips up to her neck. She turns her head, giving me more access to her skin. I easily move to her weak spot of her neck, biting at it. She falls back against my body, her hands resting on top of mine on her stomach.

"Alex," She breathes before turning in my arms. She grins up at me, reaching up on her toes to press her lips to mine, her hands on my chest. "I can't. I have things to do. I'm not a bit shot rockstar who has everyone doing all my work for me." She says, making me laugh and shake my head.

"No, you aren't, but you are dating the big shot rockstar and he is telling you to come cuddle and make out with him. That's all I want, not sex, not anything like that. I just want to be alone with you." I whine, my hands resting on her hips. She smiles and gives me another kiss.

"Let me get Matt what he needs and then we can go cuddle for a little bit but not long, I need to go help Vinny set up. Doors are in an hour and a half." She says, making me grin and nod.

"Sounds good." She smiles and turns back to the box, finally finding what she needs. I follow her back to where Matt was at, doing something on his laptop and talking on his cell phone.

"Here ya go." Sapphire whispers, putting the cord she had gotten for him on the table beside his laptop. He smiles and nods at her, still listening to whoever he was talking to on the phone. Sapphire turns towards me and takes my hand, pulling me from the room. "So, cuddle time?" She asks as we walk out the back door of the venue.

"Yes, please." I say, grinning at her. She smiles too as we get onto the bus and make our way to our bunk, curling into the small space. "So, can we talk about something?" I ask as she rests her head on my chest.

"Of course." She says absentmindedly, running her fingers up and and down my chest.

"I know that we talked about this last week after Angela left and you talked to Matt but... I just... I want to make sure that I'm what you want. That you getting close with Matt again hasn't... made you want him." I voice what had been on my mind for days, or weeks really. I've had this fear since I finally got Sapphire. I worry that she'll miss what they had.

"Alex, I love Matt, I do." She says, lifting her head to look into my eyes. "But what do I have to do to show you that you are what I want? Matt is my past, and you are my future."

"I just..." I trail off, unsure of what to say though my mind was racing a mile a minute. "I just love you so much, Sapphire, so so much. And just the thought of losing you kills me-"

"Then stop thinking it." She says, cutting me off. She sits up, staring down at me. "It's not going to happen, Alex. You are my forever, I don't know what else to do to make you see that." I smile, pulling her back down into my arms. She sighs and rests her head back on my chest. "I love you so much, Alex. Don't think I'm going to get with Matt behind your back or leave you for him. I made my choice and he made his. We are friends now, that is it." I nod, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm sorry for being annoying and worrying so much, I just don't want to lose you."

"And you won't lose me, ever." She whispers, making me smile. We laid in our bunk for another 20 minutes before she went to go help Vinny set up merch before doors opened and I went back to the dressing room. We still had about an hour and a half before we hit the stage.

"How are things with Sapphire?" Jack asks as I sit down beside him, taking a beer from the table and taking a large drink of it.

"Great. We talked about her and Matt." I tell him, making him nod.

"How'd it go?"

"She convinced me that I'm who she wants. She said that she made her choice and Matt made his, there was nothing else going on. I guess it's better for them to be friends and nice to each other rather than have them hate each other still and yell and argue all the time. That wouldn't make tour very fun." I explained, making him nod once more, taking a drink of his own beer.

"We're in Vegas tomorrow. Just get her drunk and then get married. Then she's stuck with you forever because Saph is way against divorce." I laughed and shook my head, reaching over to smack his shoulder. "What? It'd work." He mutters. "Maybe I'll do it. She'd make a good wife."

"Dude," I say, laughing. "She's mine, go find someone else to marry." Just then the door opens and in walks Sapphire.

"What about getting married?" She asks as she comes to sit between the two of us.

"Jack wants to marry you in Vegas tomorrow." I tell her, making her turn to look at Jack who grins and nods.

"Wanna get married? We can have lots of sex after." He raises his eyebrows suggestively at her, making her laugh and shake her head.

"Sorry, Jack. You'd make a great husband, I'm sure, but if anyone is getting married mistakenly in Vegas, I'd prefer it be Alex and I." She responds, patting my leg, making me grin.

"Well that's what I suggested first, but he said no." Jack explains.

"How about the two of you get married?" She suggests, grinning. "I'm sure there can still be a lot of sex." I groan, shaking my head.

"Yes! Alex, let's get married!" Jack exclaims, jumping up and down in his seat while Sapphire laughs.

"Oh god, no, Jack. We are not getting married. No one is getting married tomorrow." I say, shaking my head. Jack pouts, looking very sad.

"But the sex. I want the sex." He whines, making Sapphire laugh again.

"It's not coming from me, sorry." I tell him, laughing. Jack then stands up.

"Fine, Zack will sex with me." He walks out of the room then, leaving us laughing.

"Well that was an interesting conversation." I say as I wrap my arms around her shoulder, pulling her against me. "I thought you were helping Vinny." I kiss the side of her head.

"I was, but we finished and there is still about fifteen minutes until doors open so I thought I'd come see my sexy boyfriend for a few more minutes." She answers, smiling up at me. I grin back, leaning down to press my lips to hers. I bring my hand up to rest on her cheek as my tongue slides into her mouth, easily gliding against hers. She leans into my body more, her hand on my chest. I was thankful that the dressing room was empty right now as I push her back, leaning over her.

"No sex on the couch please, people have to sit there." We jump apart as the door opens and in walks Matt. We both sit up, Sapphire's face was bright red.

"Sorry, Matt." She says, shrugging. He too just shrugs.

"We've decided to open doors a few minutes early, just because everything's done and there are a lot of people outside. So Vinny needs you." He explains to Sapphire who nods and stands up. She leans down and gives me a kiss before leaving the room.

"Sorry about that, dude, we just got carried away." I tell him, also standing up.

"It's fine. You two are together, you can do whatever you want, just not on a couch that other people have to sit on tonight." With that, he turns and leaves the room, making me sigh. Would things always be this awkward with Matt? Would it ever not be weird to be with Sapphire around him and not feel awkward? I hoped so.