Do I Turn Out Alright?

[Sapphire]

How can one person ever say that they are with their perfect match? There are trillions of people on the planet and even if you have met thousands of them how do you know that your one isn't still out there? Even if you are with someone who makes you exceptionally happy, is good looking, you love them, whatever, how do you know that they are your actual perfect match? You could be just settling and you would never know it.

That thought was what haunted me throughout all of high school. I was dating a man named Adam. We had known each other for our entire lives, our parents having been best friends in high school and after. Adam and I got together halfway into our freshman year of high school and dated all the way until my junior year of college. I was well on my way to med school, he had a singing career well under way. We were amazingly happy together. Have you ever heard of the band Maroon 5? Well their singer Adam Levine? Yeah, that was my boyfriend of 7 years.

He and I figured that we would be together forever. We lived together straight out of high school, our friends envied us and wanted a relationship like ours. He was my soul-mate. Then one day for some reason... we both seemed to wake up with the same thought in our head. Was this it? Were we really meant to spend the rest of our lives like this? We talked about it, both of us deciding that it would be too rational to break up now after being together for so long after one simple thought. So we stayed together for another month. Eventually the sex became nothing but pleasure, there was no intimacy, no love in it anymore. We didn't speak much at all. We ate dinner either in silence or alone. Finally we decided to stop kidding ourselves and called it off.

After that I became a cynic on love. Adam had been perfect for me and yet... we still hadn't worked even after all that time. The love had just stopped. I grew up in LA and as soon as I finished college I ran off to the east coast to live with my sister and her husband and went to med school in Baltimore. Not even three months after I finished med school I ran into Matt at a coffee shop right after I had gotten off a graveyard shift at the hospital. That day had been god awful and Matt had been my savior.

_____


"You look dead on your feet, Saph." I lifted my head from where I had rested them on my arms on the counter of the nurses station to see my college Elanor standing before me, a sympathetic smile on her mother like face. El had worked here for fifteen years now and adored her job. I don't know how she did it. I was 25 years younger than her and was supposed to have more energy than she did and yet after an eleven hour shift I was exhausted. Elanor had been here four hours before I had and yet she still looked like she had woken up an hour previous. Gorgeous and well rested. I envied her.

"It's been a long day. Mr. Aarons in room 239 threw up on me today, again." I informed her, making her chuckle and smile warmly at me.

"Things like that happen, Saph." She told me, using the nickname that only she used for me, everyone else called me Sapphire or Saphrina. Truth be told, she was the only one I wanted to call me Saph, it was reserved for her and her only.

"Well, thankfully my shift is over so I can now go home and pass out." I told her, relieved at how close sleep was. She laughed and pat my shoulder before grabbing the chart for the patient she was about to go check on. "I don't know how you work so much, El."

"I just have a passion for this. Give me a coffee and I'm set for days. Helping these people is all I want to do." With one more warm smile she was off down the hall. I smiled and gathered my black sweater, pulling it over my cliche blue scrubs. I grabbed my purse from under the nurse's station counter and walked towards the door holding my freedom. I needed a shower, I still smelled like old man throw up mixed with sweat from running around all night. You would think that since it was the middle of the night the place wouldn't be busy but since it was a hospital and injuries and death don't have a time schedule, the place was bustling.

Once outside in the fresh morning air I decided to stop at the coffee shop down the street on my short walk home. A nice hot chocolate sounded delicious right now and exactly what I needed. As I walked I looked up at the sky, seeing it shrouded in clouds. The forecast had called for rain for the next week and judging by the looks of the clouds it would surely happen. Luckily the rain held off while I walked, I made it to the coffee shop still dry but knew I would most likely not be as lucky on my walk to my apartment.

"Hi, what can I get for you?" The cheery barista asked from behind the counter once I stepped up in front of her. She was far too happy to be awake this early in the morning, but then working in a coffee shop must have its benefits, all the caffeine you could want.

"A large hot chocolate, extra whip cream, please." I told her, digging through my purse to get my wallet. My blood ran ice cold when I realized that my wallet was no where to be found in the small black container. I then realized I must have left it on the nurse's station counter when I had taken it out to give money to Ricky, our new M.D. who had made a coffee run at 2 in the morning. I had left it there in my rush to leave the hospital only minutes ago. I groaned and ran a hand through my dirty blonde hair. "Fuck." I groaned. "Nevermind on that, I left my wallet at the hospital." I told the cheery barista who frowned.

"You were in the hospital?" She questioned. "Are you okay?" Obviously she didn't see my blue scrubs, making me smile.

"I'm a nurse." I explained. I sighed and tossed my purse back over my shoulder. "Thanks anyway though, sorry for taking your time." I turned to leave but ran straight into the man who had been waiting behind me. "Oh, I'm sorry." I stuttered. I looked up at him and locked eyes with him. It was like a cliche movie moment. Time seemed to stop as I looked up into his chocolate brown eyes. He smiled down at me, his lip ring flashing in the artificial light of the shop.

"It's alright. Here, let me pay for your hot chocolate, you look like you could use it. You've probably been at the hospital all night." He stepped up to the counter and gave his order, along with the drink I had just cancelled.

"You don't have to do that, sir." I told him. "Honestly. I can just get something when I get home, I live not too far from here."

"It's no trouble." The stranger said, smiling at me as he handed the money over. After he paid and got his change we went over to wait for our drinks. "I'm Matt, by the way." He introduced, holding his hand out to me.

"Saphrina, but everyone calls me Sapphire." I responded, smiling at him as we let go of each others hands.

"So how long have you worked at the hospital?" He wondered, biting at his lip ring in the most adorable way ever.

"Three months. I'm fresh out of med school." I explained, making him nod. "What do you do?"

"I'm the tour manager for a friends band. All Time Low." He told me. I felt kind of bad, I had not heard of that band and from my shy smile I'm guessing he could tell that. "It's okay if you haven't heard of them, they are just starting to really get big. In a few years, you'll hear of them everywhere." I could see just from the way that he talked about the band that he really cared for the guys in this band. He wanted them to be successful and he believed in his heart that they would be.

Soon our drinks were called so we stepped forward to grab them. I happily clutched at the warm drink and took a large drink, uncaring that it burned my throat on the way down.

"Thank you so much, Matt. I really needed this." I said, smiling at him. "It was very nice meeting you. " I then started to turn towards the door. I froze as soon as I saw that it had started pouring down rain while I had been in here. It came down in thick sheets. I groaned and pulled the hood of my sweater up and started to make my way out but a hand on my arm stopped me.

"Are you walking home?" Matt questioned when I turned toward him.

"Yeah. I have a car but it's such a short distance to the hospital that I usually just walk. Saves gas." I explained. Right now I really regretted the want to save gas. I had to walk home in this.

"Let me give you a ride home. My car is right there." He pointed to the black Audi parked right in front of the door.

"Oh no, that's okay. You have already done so much for me. It's not that long of a walk." I assured him and started to walk out the door again but his arm once more stopped me.

"Oh come on, just let me drive you home. It's no trouble at all." He insisted, making me sigh. I looked back out the window, seeing that the rain was not letting up at all. "Come on, if you walk home in this, you'll surely get a cold and then they'll have a sick nurse attending to patients and that's just not right." He joked, making me roll my eyes. "So how about it?"

"Fine, you can give me a ride home." I gave in, making him grin and fist bump the air in satisfaction.

"Right this way, my lady." He then put his arm around my shoulders and let me out the door. We stood under the awning for a second before he pulled out his keys, unlocked his car and we made a run for it. Even just being out in the rain for those few seconds soaked my sweatshirt and hair, making it hand down in stringy tendrils. I pulled it back into a ponytail as Matt started his car and back out of the parking spot. "Where to?" He asked. I gave him the simple instructions and sat back, wiping at my face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, trying to dry it a little but my sweatshirt was far too soaked to do anything.

"You really have saved me, Matt. I can't thank you enough for this." I said, glancing over at him. He smiled and nodded.

"I know a way you can make it up to me." He stopped at a red light and smiled over at me. I narrowed my eyes jokingly.

"I'm hesitant to know what it is." I joked, making him laugh and shake his head as the light turned green and he started driving again.

"It's not bad. I was just wondering if..." He trailed off, making me frown. "Well... I was wondering if maybe you would come be my mistress and let me lock you up in my basement to have you at my will." My eyes popped open as he burst into laughter. I smacked his arm, which in turn made him laugh harder. He pulled up in front of my apartment building and turned off his car. "I'm kidding. I don't chain girls up into at least the third date." He told me. I once again smacked his arm.

"You are a weirdo, Matt." I told him but laughed none the less.

"In all seriousness. How about we go to dinner some time?" My smile faltered. I hadn't dated anyone since Adam. I was a little nervous. I didn't know how this whole dating thing happened. Yes, I had a boyfriend but we were together for so long that we didn't really go through any of the awkward first dates or anything like that. It was just like one day we declared ourselves together and that was that. "Nevermind. You don't have to. We don't even know each other. I just.... I don't know." Matt looked down at his hands, picking at his nail nervously.

"I would love to. Dinner with you would be really nice." I heard myself responding. I wasn't entirely sure about this as after me and Adam fell out of love so quickly I had stopped believing in the whole aspect of relationships and love but Matt made me want to try again.

"Great. When are you free?" Matt was back to his smiling self, making me smile back at him.

"I don't work tonight. So how about you come pick me up around... 7?" He grinned and nodded.

"I'll be here." I smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek before I rushed out of the car and towards the front door of my apartment building. I turned and waved at him as he started the car before driving off. It was that day that I let someone back into my heart again.

_____

That night had been marvelous. We went to dinner at a cute little Italian restaurant across town. When he drove me back home we sat in his car in silence for a few minutes before he leaned over and gave me the softest kiss I had probably ever experienced. I knew it was crazy to be kissing a man that I had only just met that day but Matt wasn't some stranger. He didn't feel like it at least. Even after just one day I felt like I had known him forever. We made plans to go out later that week.

When we did go out again he took me to one of his favorite clubs after dinner at a diner. We spent the entire night, and even into the morning, sharing drink after drink and dancing. We ended up going back to my apartment and making out heatedly in my bed. Our clothes were about halfway off when we both passed out. We woke up the next morning with pounding head aches and just about died of laughter once we realized we were half naked. He stayed for lunch and left me with another one of his soft kisses and promises to call me.

The next day we went out to lunch and he took me shopping before I had to go into work. When I got off my shift he was waiting by the Hospital exit doors with a dozen roses in his hand, claiming that he missed me. That morning was when we slept together for the first time.

We dove head first into our relationship without looking back. By the end of two weeks were staying at each others houses every night, we were never apart. My sister scolded me, saying I was just trying to get over Adam. She didn't believe that our love had just ended one day randomly, that true love doesn't just do that. I argued that obviously Adam and I weren't truly in love then. She still even to this day doesn't buy it and doesn't like Matt. She says that he ruined my life, making me quit my promising job for a not so promising one full of drinking and parties. She didn't understand that Matt brought out who I really was. Living with these boys 10 months out of the year was what I wanted, it was the only time I was truly happy and myself.

Some times when I have too much free time on my hands, like now, I sit and think about Matt and I's relationship. Were we going to be just like Adam and I? Were we going to be together for a long time, longer than we already had, and then just one day realize that this wasn't what we wanted? It terrified me and some times I found myself trying to pull away from Matt, distance myself from him. If I wasn't so attached to him than maybe it would be easier when I lost him because a part of me still believed that maybe just maybe I wasn't with the one.

How? I just seriously would like an answer to how you know that you are with the one.

Maybe I'm just questioning this too much. I knew I had a great guy, so why was something digging at my brain, saying that this just wasn't going to work?

And why did that voice sound oddly like Alex Gaskarth?