Do I Turn Out Alright?

[Sapphire]

"Home sweet home!" Matt exclaimed as soon as we stepped over the threshold of our three bedroom house in Baltimore. He dropped our bags to the floor and immediately fell onto our large beige colored couch. I grinned and put my own things down before walking over to him, easily resting on top of him. My head rested perfectly in the crook of his neck as his arms wrapped around my waist. "It feels so good to be alone with you in our own home finally after so long." He whispered. I simply nodded in response.

The guilt of what Alex and I did yesterday afternoon was killing me. I just couldn't believe what I had done. Being around Alex simply makes me lose my mind, I can't think straight when he's around. He kisses me and I fall to putty in his hands, I'll do whatever he wants. Matt was such a sweet and caring guy. Sure we argued but I still loved him and he didn't deserve what I was doing with his best friend. That's why the next time I saw Alex I would have a firm talk with him. We would no longer be messing around behind Matt's back. I just couldn't do it anymore. I wanted Matt.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" Matt questioned, breaking me from my thoughts. I shook my head and kissed the side of his neck.

"Just glad to be back home with you." I whispered. "You know I love the guys, but I want you to myself for awhile." I told him. He chuckled and nodded.

"I understand. Well we have almost two months here at home now before we go back on tour so you have me. Though tonight we are going out with the guys." He told me, making me groan.

"Can't we go out just me and you?" I lifted my head to stare down at him. "We haven't gone out to dinner alone since before tour started."

"I know, but you know it's tradition to have one last tour dinner before we hibernate until next tour." Of course Matt was right. We always did that when we returned from tour.

"Tomorrow you'll take me out though?" I questioned, putting on my pouty face that I knew he couldn't resist.

"Of course, just you and I." He assured me, making me smile. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. After yesterday the feel of his lip ring felt so foreign and uncomfortable against my lips even after almost 3 years of kissing him with it there. I ignored the wriggling in my gut and continued to kiss him back, my fingers weaving through his dark brown hair while his hands ran up and down my spine. The more we kissed, the more Alex was pushed from my mind and I was able to enjoy it. We jumped apart when his phone began to ring from his jeans pocket between us. I laughed and reached down, taking it from his pocket from him. The name flashing across the screen made the smile from my face. Of course he would call now. "Who is it?" Matt questioned, I simply shook my head and pressed the green button.

"Yes, Gaskarth?" I questioned. Matt smiled and rolled his eyes. He reached up and began to kiss at my neck, not caring that our best friend was on the phone.

"Where's Matt?" Alex questioned, his voice full of confusion.

"Currently he is laying underneath me, trying to distract me." I giggled as Matt bit at my sensitive spot. No one but him had ever found that spot. It made my knees weak and my body shudder with sensations. Adam hadn't even discovered that little spot. Only Matt knew where it was. "Matty, stop." I gently pushed him away from my neck but he shook his head and grabbed my hand, clasping it in his own and continuing his assault on my neck. "Matt!" I gasped as he again bit at that one spot.

"Maybe I should call back later..." I heard Alex say. I instantly felt bad as I heard the sadness laced through his voice. I didn't like hurting Alex like this. Yes, I wanted to be with Matt but I shouldn't be flaunting what Matt and I did in front of him like this.

"No, Alex. I'm sorry. Hold on just a second." I told him. I then rolled sideways, sliding off the couch, breaking all contact with Matt who groaned and reached out for me but I shook my head and slid backwards more, out of his reach. "Alright, Alex, what's up?"

"I was just calling to make sure that dinner was still on tonight." I hated hearing the sadness in Alex's voice.

"Yes, Matt and I were just talking about that actually. We're all still going." I told him. Matt continued to sit on the couch, pouting at me and reaching his hands out towards me, trying to get me to come near but I shook my head.

"Alright. See you then. Bye." With that he hung up, making sigh. I put Matt's phone onto the coffee table before smiling at him.

"Come back now." He whined but I shook my head.

"I need a shower." I told him as I stood up. I went and grabbed my suitcases before making my way down the hall and to our large bedroom. I put my bags on the bed and tossed them open. I then spent the next ten minutes putting all of my dirty clothes in the hamper to wash later, then putting all of my shoes, belts, and beanies in their correct places in the closet. I then took my makeup and other toiletries into the bathroom. I grabbed a clean towel from the linen closet and after putting back all my shampoos and soaps I slipped out of my hoodie and jeans that I wore that day and slid into the shower. It was so nice to have a nice relaxing shower after a long and stressful tour. Plus, I hadn't showered since before my encounter with Alex so I felt that I needed to wash him off of me.

After my shower I stepped out and wrapped myself in my towel. I then brushed my teeth and blow dried my hair. I stepped back into the bedroom to see Matt unpacking his own bags now. He looked up at me and grinned, his eyes sliding up and down my body.

"Control yourself, Matty." I warned him, walking over to our closet. I rummaged through the very few items of clothing I hadn't taken on tour and picked out a cute dress. I put it on the bed before going over to the dresser and getting out the appropriate undergarments needed. I slid the towel off and slid them on, ignoring Matt checking me out the entire time. I then put on the dress, unable to reach the zipper in the back. "Matty." I whined, reaching behind me to try and reach it. He laughed and stepped up behind me.

"I got it." But instead of zipping it up and reached down and kissed my bare shoulder. I shivered as his breath hit my bare skin. "You are so beautiful." He murmured as he continued to kiss the skin of my shoulder blade. He reached his right hand up and slid it into the open part of my dress. His hand danced across my flesh before it came to rest on my stomach, pulling me back into him. I gasped as I felt him pressed hard and ready against my backside. This man was insatiable but then again... so was I. "I wish I could take you right here and now but unfortunately we have to leave in half an hour and I know it takes you longer than that to finish your hair and makeup." I groaned as he took his hand out of my dress and removed his lips before zipping up my dress.

"You are the biggest tease I have ever met." I grumbled. He laughed as I went to walk away but he grabbed my wrist and spun be back into him, allowing me to fall against his chest. I stared up into his large brown eyes and felt myself get lost in his orbs, like I had numerous times in the past. Matt was my hero, my savior, my other half, and I didn't deserve him. He deserved someone who wouldn't lie to him, or cheat on him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He questioned, obviously seeing the sadness cross my face. I smiled softly and shook my head.

"Just thinking about how you deserve better than me because you are so amazing and perfect." I confessed. He frowned and shook his own head, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"There is no one else I want. I want you, I need you. You are the one that is amazing and perfect. Everyday I wonder how I ever landed such a beautiful person to call my own. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you." I felt tears prickle my eyes at his words. This man did not deserve what I have done to him, I have to tell him. He needs to know but I don't want to hurt him.

"Matt..." I whispered. "I...i-"

"No, shhh." He pressed his lips against mine, quieting my words. "I want to spend forever with you, Sapphire." He whispered when we pulled away from one another. "This was not how I was planning on doing this, it wasn't supposed to happen until later tonight but this is the perfect moment I feel." I frowned up at him, unsure of what he was talking about.

"Matty... wha-?" My question fell short on my lips as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a gorgeous diamond ring from his pocket. I gasped and brought my hands up to my mouth. "What is that, Matt?"

"You are everything I have ever wanted, Sapphire. There is no one else I would rather spend my life with. There is no one else I could ever even imagine being with. I want to spend forever with you, treating you like the royalty that you are. I will give you anything you could ever want. We'll have children, just like we talked about, and we'll have our wedding at the park that you told me about in Los Angeles . We'll go to London for our honeymoon, just as you always wanted. All you have to do is say yes. Say that you'll marry me, Sapphire." I felt a tear fall down my cheeks as I looked up at Matt. I couldn't believe that this was happening. Alex's face flashed across my face, our day together punched me in the guy but I pushed it away. Matt was who I wanted, Matt was who I needed. Just as he needed me.

"Oh, Matty." I gasped. I reached forward and rested my hand on his stubble covered cheek. "Of course. Of course I'll marry you." He grinned and grabbed my left hand, easily sliding the gorgeous ring onto my finger. I couldn't believe that this was happening. "I love you, Matt." I gasped, taking his face in my hands and connecting out lips. He kissed me back and lifted me up, spinning us around the room.

"Go finish getting ready, we have to go tell our friends." He said when he placed me back on the ground. I grinned and nodded, rushing back into the bathroom. I did my makeup and hair simply, my hands shaking still from what just happened. I still couldn't believe it. By the time we slid on our jackets and shoes, we were already ten minutes late. We ignored all of the texts and calls from our friends and simply got in the car, our hands linked in the middle as he drove.

"About time, fucktards!" Jack yelled as we walked into the restaurant and were shown to the table that everyone was already sat at. "Were you two too busy getting it on? You are never late, Matt." Matt grinned over at me as we took our seats. Unfortunately Alex sat beside me.

"No, we were not 'getting it on', Jack." I informed him.

"We were doing something else though." Matt told them all, smiling over at me.

"Oral sex counts as doing it." Rian said. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Nothing sexual, bastards." I exclaimed, making Jack pout.

"Then why were you late?" He pushed. Me and Matt looked at each other. He nodded and gestured for me to show them my hand.

"This happened." I said simply, lifting up my left hand, showing the diamond ring. Alex, who had just taken a drink of his water, spit it all across the table and then choked on it. I frowned and pat him on the back.

"You alright, bro?" Rian asked who sat on Alex's other side.

"Yeah, sorry. That was just a shock. Wasn't expecting that." He whipped the water off of his chin before looking over at me. I stared back, seeing all of the sadness filling his eyes. I tried to apologize with my own eyes but he shook his head. "Excuse me." He stood up and left the table, disappearing in the direction of the bathrooms. By now everyone had Matt engaged in a discussion about how it happened.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I said quietly before getting up and following Alex's steps. Just as I walked into the small hall area that the bathrooms were at Alex walked out of the men's restroom. His eyes were red and puffy as if he had just gotten done crying. My heart instantly broke. "Alex?"

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a fiance to go be all cute with?" He questioned rudely. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Alex, I'm really sorry. You know that I care for you and I enjoyed yesterday but I love Matt-"

"Stop saying that!" He yelled, cutting me off. "Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? You say that constantly and yet you make love to me yesterday, you let me kiss you, and now here you are apologizing to me for getting engaged. What happened to what you said at lunch a few weeks ago? About Matt not being your soul mate?" He questioned.

"Alex, please. I do love Matt. Yesterday was... a lapse in my judgement. It will never happen again. Matt doesn't deserve that." I told him. He stared down at me. His face went from angry to sad in a millisecond.

"And yet I do? I am in love with you, Sapphire and you keep on playing with me. One second we're kissing or having sex and the next you are all about Matt. You obviously aren't satisfied with him, so why are you marrying him?" I sighed and shook my head.

"Alex, please. Matt and I are getting married, what you and I have done will never happen again. You need to just get over me and let me go on with Matt." I told him but he shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I believe that we are soul mates, Sapphire. I'm not giving up until you realize that too."

"You'll be working for a long time then." With that I spun on my heel and walked back to the table.

"Everything alright?" Matt asked me as I sat beside him. I saw Alex returning to the table but I ignored him as I smiled over at Matt.

"Everything is perfect, fiance." I said, making him grin at me. He leaned over and gave me one of his soft kisses that made my heart race. I heard Alex sit beside me but continued to ignore him.

"I love you." Matt whispered, nudging my nose with his.

"And I love you." I heard Alex groan beside me but Matt and I both ignored him as we connected lips once more. What Alex said continued to replay through my mind. I truly did believe that Matt wasn't my soul mate. So was it really the right thing to marry him?