Thank You

The scenario of how they would meet again was not something foreign. He thought about it often, but it was never this scenario. His eyes instantly focused on hers and his eyebrows furrowed at what he saw there. His fingers itched to reach out and touch the yellowing bruise that marked her skin just around the bottom of her eye, slowly extending down to the top of her cheek. His gaze lowered to her mouth. He knew she was nervous because her bottom lip was stuck in between her teeth. When she finally let it go, he saw the cut on the right side. He wanted to reach out and smooth his finger over that as well, but he couldn’t. Then again, is that what he really wanted to do?

No.

Yes.

Fuck.

How long had they been standing here, just staring at each other. All other sounds had been drowned out by the sound of his heartbeat, ringing through his ears.

“Come on Austin. Use your words. What are you doing?” he thought to himself.

He watched her eyes finally shift away from him and focus on something else. Her face turned to one of confusion and then pain.

“What are you doing here?” he heard, but it sounded like it was coming from miles away. He finally shook out of his confused state and focused in on the situation unfolding.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Jessica answered and then realization hit her. “Wow, I guess everybody’s here.”

“What happened to you?” Peyton spoke up again, her fingers reaching out to trace the bruise on her sister’s face.

‘Damn it, those were supposed to be your fingers,’ Austin thought again, his palms twitching at his reaction. His very, very wrong reaction.

Jessica flinched and backed away from her sister’s unwanted touch. She sighed and tightened her fingers around the straps of her backpack. Austin noticed it was the only thing she had with her.

“I need to talk to Austin,”

“And what gives you the right to just show up at his apartment? Do you think he wants to talk to you after what you did to him?”

No.

Yes.

Fuck.

“Come on, Pey, I just want to talk to-”

“No. Jesus, Jessica. What the fuck happened to you?”

She wasn’t just talking about the bruises anymore, and we all knew it.

Jess didn’t reply, she just looked from Petyon to Austin and then she looked around the entryway, to see everyone else standing there as well. With one last glance back to Austin, she took a step back and slowly turned around, making her way back down the stairs.

“Jesus Christ, Peyton,” Austin shouted, stepping around her. “I could have handled that.”

“You kidding me?” she asked, cocking one of her eyebrows. “You were just standing there like a mute idiot.”

“Something obviously happened and she’s actually fucking reaching out for help. Damn it Peyton, it has to be really bad.” He ignored her response as he jogged down the hallway and practically all but slid down the banister to get down the stairs faster. And just like that, he was back under her spell, lord help him.

He rounded the corner to the next set of steps and saw her, sitting on the very bottom step. He knew she heard him coming because she sucked up her tears and wiped them away before he sat down next to her. They were silent for what felt like forever.

“What happened to your hair?”

Those were the first words he said to her. Make those lasting impressions, Austin.

She ran her fingers through the matted mess and shrugged. “Cut it.”

“I see that, but why?”

“I had too much of it,” she shrugged. “Donated it.”

He felt like that wasn’t the reason, but he let it go.

“Come on,” he sighed, standing up and holding his hand out to her. “Let’s get out of here.”

She grabbed onto his hand and let him pull her up, immediately retracting her hand and stuffing it into her pocket. Her other hand adjusted her backpack strap. “Where do you want to go?”

“I know a great diner about a mile from here. We can walk if you’re up to it.” It would give him peace of mind make sure she actually ate. She looked as if she’d lost another ten pounds since he’d seen her. She was already skinny enough as it was.

“Sure,” she shrugged with a nod. They walked in silence for a while, neither of them trusting themselves to speak just yet. Austin was glad that the Arizona heat wasn’t looming over them. It was nearing 11 o’clock P.M. and it felt perfect.

“Incidentally, what happened to your hair?” she asked, finally trusting her voice. He glanced over and her and saw her trying to hide her smirk.

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Oh, nothing,” she said, the smile twitching at her lips.

“It’s just longer,” he shrugged.

“I think that it’s the very definition of a mullet.”

“Okay, I’m going to have to stop you right there,” he chuckled. “It’s definitely not a mullet.”

And just like that, it was normal. No time had passed. They were them. They were the way they were before all of the bad shit got in the way.

It should have pissed him off.

Before he knew it, they were at the diner, sitting in a booth next to a window that overlooked a shady looking parking lot.

“I know it doesn’t look like much,” he sighed, looking around the old building. “But it’s good grub.”

“Looks like a lot to me,” she smiled and looked around. “Reminds me of this place mom and I used to go when we wanted to get away from dad. I like it.”

He noticed that she didn’t get sad or start to close herself off like she usually did when she mentioned her mom. She must have figured a lot of things out on their time apart.
“What’ll it be?” the waitress asked, grabbing for her notepad to take their order on. She finally looked up and beamed.

“Austin! It’s been a while!”

“Hey Lorraine. Come here you sweet thing, you,” he cooed, holding his arms out. She squeezed into the booth and engulfed him in a bear hug.

“How was tour?” she asked, setting her notepad and pen on the table and focusing all of her attention on Austin. Apparently he hadn’t been here since he’d been back.

Jessica sat mesmerized, realizing that he had that effect on women of all ages; it wasn’t just her. They talked for a while, Jessica following every word until Lorraine finally looked at her, eying her up and down.

“Lord child, what happened to your face?”

Jessica awkwardly gazed at Austin and then gazed at her hands folded in her lap.

“Lorraine, I’ll have the usual with a cup of coffee and a water.” She all but flushed as she remembered why she was there in the first place. She picked up her notepad and pen and looked at Jessica, waiting for her to place her order.

“Um. I’ll have the same,” she shrugged, handing her the dated menu. Lorraine smiled and tucked her notepad into her apron.

“Guess I don’t have to write that down. I’ll be right back with your drinks.” With that, she slid out of the booth and made her way to the kitchen. Austin watched Jessica fidget with her hands. She was looking anywhere but at him.

“You don’t even know what my usual is.” She just shrugged and kept her gaze down. “You know, you’re going to have to tell me about it sooner or later.”

“What?” she asked, her head snapping up as he grabbed her attention.

“The eye.”

“Oh,” she nodded, her hand moving up to trace the outside of her bruise.

“That has nothing to do with why I’m here.”

“So you’re not going to tell me what that’s about?”

“Sure,” she shrugged, biting her bottom lip. She sighed and freed her bottom lip, going back to fidgeting with her hands “I will. Just not right now.” His lips drew into a tight line as he looked her over.

“Here are your coffees,” Lorraine interrupted, setting down two mugs and filling them up with steaming coffee. “And your waters,” she said, setting them down in front of both Austin and Jess. “Do you need lemons, sweetheart?”

“No thank you, Lorraine,” Jess answered, reaching for the straw.

“Your food should be out shortly,” she informed them, smiling at Austin.

“Thanks, gorgeous,” Austin replied with a wink. She flushed and turned around, fanning her face as she walked back towards the kitchen.

“You’re going to give her a heart attack,” Jess said, absentmindedly playing with her straw paper. Austin reached across the table and grabbed the paper out of her hands.

“Why are you so fidgety?” She just sighed and shrugged. “Let’s talk.”

“I don’t want to,” she retorted, like a 5 year old.

“Then why did you come here?” Austin asked, his patience waning by the second.

“I told you, I need your help.”

“Need my help doing what?” he asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone. She had a way of testing him, but of course, that was part of the attraction. She began tapping her fingers on the table, scratching her arm, fidgeting with her hair. Austin watched her and it finally clicked.

“You’re going through withdrawals, aren’t you?” Her eyes shot up and she stared at him.

“Supper time,” Lorraine interrupted, and for the first time, he hated Lorraine and wished that she would have held off a few minutes. He felt as if they were actually about to get somewhere. “Chili with an extra side of sour cream and an extra side of jalapenos. Let me know when you kids are ready for the pie.”

“Thanks Lorraine,” he sighed, trying to hide his anger.

“You’re welcome, sugar.”

“Chili, huh?” Jess spoke up, grabbing her spoon.

“My favorite,” he nodded.

“Want my jalapenos?” she asked, sliding the bowl towards him.
“Cut the shit,” he said, placing his hand down on the table to interfere with the path of the bowl making its way across the table. “Are you?”

“Am I what?” she asked, testing him. He had forgotten how she liked to do that.

“Are you going through withdrawals?” he whispered, his calm collected act finally crumbling as he pounded one of his hands on the table. She dropped her spoon and sat back, staring at him. Her head moved just a fraction and his heart started beating faster as he saw the nod. That meant she was either stopping the drug use or she couldn’t afford it anymore. The way she looked right now, he figured it was the latter.

“Do you need my help because you need money?” He watched her eyebrows set into a hard line as her lips tugged downward. Her voice was eerily calm and it rubbed Austin the wrong way.

“I know you’re judging me, and that’s fine. I’m sure you judged me ever since you left Alabama. But don’t act like you know me. Don’t pretend to know what I’ve been dealing with, because I’ve seen some shit that you could never even dream of. ” She sat up straight and grabbed for her napkin, placing it in her lap. “Do you honestly think I would travel halfway across America to get money?”

“Then why are you here?” he groaned, tired of skirting around the issue.

“I need your help.”

“Yes, I know,” he groaned. “I know you need my help.” She watched him, letting out a sigh. “This is getting frustrating. Will you quit with all of the cryptic shit?”

“I just don’t want to talk about it here. We’re in public.”

Austin made a show of looking around the room to the empty booths and tables.

“On the walk back to your place, we’ll talk about it then,” she offered. She knew he wasn’t thrilled, but he agreed.

“Eat up. You look like shit,” he said, trying to hide his smile.

“Oh fuck you,” she grinned, finally digging into the chili.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

They’d walked half a mile to his house in silence before he finally slipped his hand inside of hers, pulling to her a halt.

“Please, tell me.”
“I’d actually rather wait until-”

“I’m going crazy. Jesus, Jessica, please just tell me.”

“Clean, I uh, I need your help getting clean,” she finally said, her words coming out in a jumbled rush.

His heart jumped into his throat. She was asking his help to do the one thing he wanted to help her with a month ago.

“Why me?” he asked, finally finding his voice.

“I kind of have to. I just figured you could help me because-” She paused, taking a deep breath, her eyes flickering from the pavement to his face.

“Because?”

“Because.” She took another deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”