Thank You

It didn’t take long for the itchings and the cravings for the toxic poison to subside before new cravings set in. Pregnancy cravings. Austin tried his hardest to go out and pick up whatever crazy craving Jessica had at any whim, but some of them were too disgusting for him to ever look at her in a normal way ever again. Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches were a staple lately, but mostly she just craved fruit. Their relationship had fallen into a somewhat comfortable friend-zone. Nobody pushed the limits of that. Austin had gotten over his negativity about the annulment and how she treated him. He understood why she had done it. She still slept in his room and he still slept on the couch… when he was home. He went to Nashville a lot, working on the house he and his brother, Charlie, were building their mom. She got to go a few times, only because it wasn’t a terribly long trip from Nashville to Birmingham so that she could visit with her dad. Ted was oddly ecstatic to have another grandchild on the way, not that he got to see his other ones often. Austin did manage to make it back for every single doctor’s appointment. It almost seemed as if he looked forward to them more than she did.

It was Christmas eve and it was Jessica’s job to wrap the presents that Austin had gotten his friends and family (apparently he was shit at wrapping). She didn’t mind though, it gave her a chance to unleash her creative side. She hadn’t gotten to plug into her creative outlet in a while. She hadn’t been behind a camera in about 5 months, and goddamn, how she missed it. Austin found out shortly after she came that she had to sell her camera to afford money to come to Arizona. He was furious that she had to do that, but that’s Austin. He had a pretty short fuse.

“Those look girly,” Austin said, overlooking the mound of presents, sipping on the Budweiser he had grabbed from the refrigerator before he even sat his bag down.

“Your face looks girly. And I think you actually meant to say, ‘Thank you, Jess. You have mad wrapping skills, yo. Super glad that you could do this for me on such short notice, seeing how you are three and half months pregnant and feeling gross.’ To which I would reply, ‘Wow, Austin. It’s really no big deal. I’m super glad you are back from Nashville because I’ve been bored.’ You would say, ‘Wow, Jess. It’s super duper good to be back.”

“It’s super duper good to be back,” he grinned, rubbing her shoulder as he passed her in a sort of greeting, then proceeded to plop down on the couch.

“How’s the house coming?” Of course, she knew exactly where the house in it’s process of being built because she had talked to him on the phone last night while he was passing time in his motel. She listened to him rambling on about dry wall for a while before she tuned him out. She just kept piling the perfectly wrapped presents under the tree that they had decorated together right after Thanksgiving.

“Who is this for?” she asked, holding up a brand new record player. It was the only thing left to wrap.

“Ah,” he sighed, forgetting all about that one. He bought it a while back. It was supposed to be her birthday present. “Lena.”

“Call her,” she demanded, raising one of her eyebrows. “It’s been like… half a year since you guys talked?”

“Yeah, well the phone works both ways.” She dropped it, knowing that was a sore subject that never went any further than what they had already said.

“Well, what do you want me to do with it?” she asked, lightly tapping her fingers on the box.

“Shove it back in the closet,” he shrugged, taking a swig from his bottle before turning the TV on. “Jeopardy?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s Christmas Eve!”

“Oh yeah,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “A Christmas Story?”

“Is the Pope Catholic?” He smiled before finding turning the channel to TBS, knowing there would be a 24 hour marathon. He made her a cup of hot chocolate and they settled in, sharing a blanket and watched the movie. He noticed her start to drift away.

“Hey Jess,” he whispered, nudging her. “Come on, let’s go to bed. Santa’s coming,” he chuckled when she groaned at him. “Come on Jessica,” he started to get up and pull her with him.

“Wait,” she sleepily murmured, grabbing onto his shirt collar before he could get away. “Wait, I.. I baked… I baked cookies.”

“You bake cookies for Santa?” he laughed, shaking his head. “Jessica Clark bakes cookies for Santa.”

“Oh fu-fuck you,” she giggled, letting go of his shirt and pushing him away.

“Uh uh Miss Clark. He knows if you’ve been bad or good.”

“You can’t.. you can’t sleep out here,” she informed him, to which his eyebrow shot up, and he shook his head.

“I’m.. I’m serious,” she said, smacking him again to make sure she had his full attention. “Santa won’t leave any presents if he sees.. if he sees your ass laying on the couch. You’ll scare.. you’ll scare him off,” she whispered the last few words, trying to keep her eyes open.

“Just say you wanna sleep with me,” he whispered, wiggling his eyebrows at her. A loud laugh left her throat as she shook her head.

“This is for Santa,” she informed him. “Now help me up.” He obliged, grabbing her hand and pulling her up. He took notice of the slight change in the size of her lower stomach.

“Wow, baby Gibbs has sure grown a lot since I’ve been gone.”

“You can say I’m fat,” she sighed, “I know.”

“No,” he groaned. “Just means he’s healthy.”

“She’s healthy,” she corrected him, placing her free hand on her stomach.

“It’s healthy,” they both said together, chuckling as they made their way into the room. He helped her into the bed before he went around and turned off all of the lights and electronics in the apartment. He left the Christmas tree lit and made sure the door was locked before he climbed in next to her.

She was already passed out, out like a lightbulb. He waited about thirty minutes before he hopped out of his bed and grabbed his phone. He had a lot to do before “Santa” came.

--

“Austin,” she whispered, trying to gently shake him awake. “Austin, it’s Christmas.” Nothing. “Baby,” she whispered. It was out of her mouth before she realized she had said it. It sounded foreign coming from her mouth. It had been so long since she had called him any kind of pet name. She was glad he didn’t wake up. It was also weird having him in the same bed, especially since she had woken up with his arm thrown around her. She didn’t hate it, and that was what made her sad. She had no right to feel any feelings towards him anymore. She was the one who made him leave. She was the one who drew up those annulment papers. She was the one who sent them. She was the one who received the ring via a very confused deliveryman. It all hurt, but she was sure it didn’t hurt half as bad as how she made him feel. She let out a sigh and propped her head up on her palm, poking him with her other hand. He groaned and swatted her hand away.

“Austin,” she whispered, scooting closer to him. “It’s Christmas!”

“What time is it?” he groaned again, covering his eyes with his arm.

“Present time!” she replied, scooting even closer.

“I need coffee,” he yawned, wishing he could have just one more hour of sleep. He was up a lot later than he thought he would be.

“Austin,” she whined, scooting even closer. He was almost forced off of the bed.

“Fine,” he laughed, rolling off of the bed onto his feet. “You’re like a 5 year old child.”

“This is the best holiday,” she said, her eyes lighting up as she climbed out of bed.

“Why? Because you get to open presents?”

“Nope. Because I get to watch you open presents!” She grabbed his hand and started trekking to the living room.

“Want me to make you some coffee?” she asked him, hoping he would say no.

“Please,” he replied. She inwardly sighed as she made her way into the kitchen to make the coffee that she could have none of. She left it black, the way he liked it, and started to make her way to the living room. As soon as she rounded the corner, she wondered how she could have missed it the first time she walked through the room. The cup fell from her hand and dropped to the floor with a thud, the hot liquid spilling from the mug onto the tile floor. Her hands shot up to cover mouth, her head shaking back and forth. No words were forming in her brain, it was just blank. She took a step into the living room, towards the present that Austin had gotten for her and as the first tear fell, she grabbed onto Austin and enveloped him into a hug. Her knees probably would have buckled if he hadn’t been supporting her weight. He held her for a while, as long as she needed to get her thoughts collected and the tears to stop. They weren’t sad tears at all. They were the happiest tears she had ever cried.

“Austin,” she finally croaked out, backing away just enough to look up at him, his tall frame towering over hers. “I don’t…” she paused, trying to clear her shaky voice. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Merry Christmas, kid.”

“How did you…?” she choked out, losing the battle with her emotions. She was pregnant, after all.

“Ted. John helped me get up here. Go ahead.”

She nodded as she took a step towards it. It seemed bigger than she remembered, but of course, in Austin’s small apartment, it would. She sat down on the wooden bench, running her fingers over all of the nicks and scrapes that had been there since she was a child. Her finger gently pressed down on a key, a choking sob escaping her mouth as the note filled the room. It was still out of tune, just as her mom had left it. She slid onto the ground, lifting the lid of the bench up, skimming her fingers over the initials carved side by side.

“I just thought that maybe one day, baby Gibbs could add it’s initials as well. I know how much that meant to you.”

“Come here,” she pleaded, patting the ground next to her. As soon as he sat down she threw her arms around him, pulling him tightly to her. “Thank you, Austin.” She kissed his cheek and then laid her head on his shoulder, still hugging him tightly. “This means the world.”

“Anything for you, kid. Anything.” He smiled, thankful that he could bring her happiness when he wasn’t sure her life would even let it in anymore. He’d watched her suffer some dark days and maybe now, things would start to get better.

“God, how can I follow this?” she laughed, wiping away a tear and shaking her head.

“Wait,” he laughed. “I have one more thing for you?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No,” he laughed, reaching around the tree for a gift that was wrapped as what Jessica could only described as shitty.

“Wrapped with love,” he joked as he sat the box down in front of Jessica. She picked it up and sighed when it was a lot heavier than she thought it would be. “What more could you give me?” she asked. “You’ve already done too much.”

“Just open it, woman,” he groaned.

She started to rip the paper and froze when she saw the word “Canon” peeking through the paper.

“Austin, this is way too much,” she shook her head, pushing the camera towards him. He placed his hands on hers and stopped her.

“It’s not,” he sighed, and took his hands off of hers. “I’ve seen what you can do with one of those,” he pointed to the box and smiled that toothy smile that she loved so much. “You had to sell yours so that you could come here, to see me, the guy that you sent packing and that you divorced,” her face fell as he continued talking, but she didn’t interrupt him. “You sold the camera so that you could get help from that same guy. Jessica, look at you. You’ve come so far. You knew you needed help. Not only you, but for baby Gibbs too. You’re not that scared little girl who kicked me out of her dad’s house in Alabama. You’re stronger. God, you’ve turned into one of the strongest people I know.” She smiled at him and grasped onto one of his hands. “So, no. I don’t think this is too much. I think it’s not enough. I can never thank you enough for what you’ve given me.” He paused and took a deep breath, trying not to get distracted by the tears freefalling from her eyes again. Those pregnancy hormones were something he would never get used to. “We’re going to be parents soon, and I know we haven’t fine tuned the details of what that means for us, but just knowing that we made something… we made an actual little human being together, that’s changed my life in ways that you could never imagine. Just thinking about it makes me giddy,” he grinned, forcing his free hand through his unruly, un-brushed hair. “I was never sure if I really wanted a kid, but now that it’s en route to happen, I think my life is heading in the right direction…it’s heading where I want it to be.”

“Austin,”

“Hang on, I’m not done.” She laughed and wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself closer to him and kissing his cheek again. “Thank you,” she breathed out, closing her eyes and hugging him tighter. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He smiled and ran his hand slowly down her back, a move that was meant to comfort her.

“My flask fails in comparison to all of this,” she sighed, letting go and falling back to sit back against the piano chair.

“You got me a flask?!” he asked, excitedly.

“And socks.”

“Thank you,” he laughed, genuinely appreciative that he was spending Christmas morning with her instead of alone or with his family. This was probably the best Christmas he had ever had. He couldn’t wait until the next one when they could both focus on spoiling baby Gibbs.

She was thinking the exact same thing.