Thank You

3 months later

There’s that moment of panic, or some might even call dread, that’s commonly felt when you’re waiting to see if the other person is going to actually accept the call or send it to voicemail, Jess thought.

This was an obligational call.

She had been pacing the floor, back and forth, back and forth, over and over for a good twenty minutes. The cell phone weighed heavy in hand – as well as her mind – and the thought of talking to someone she’d never met made her head hurt – social anxiety at it’s worst. But the icing on the cake was that she only had a short window to complete the call - the secret call – before Austin got back from the store. She’d already wasted more time than she meant. The phone clicked and she heard the voice on the other end carry through the static connection. Her mouth went dry.

“Is this an apology or are you still being an obtuse asshat?”

She had hoped to have gotten voicemail – she thought that the person on the other end of the line would ignore the call altogether and Jess could say she had tried and never think about it again.

She didn’t sound as Jess had expected her to. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

“Uh,” she started, shaking her head to try to get something to click into place. “Lena?”

“Yes, this is she… who is this?” Jess could hear the confusion – and perhaps a little bit of a ‘tude coming from the other end. “This is Austin’s number, right?” Jess imagined her checking the screen of her phone for confirmation.

“It’s Jess. It’s-”

“Ah, the homewrecker.” Lena deadpanned.

“I’m… I didn’t… I actually didn’t wreck-”

“Hey, I’m just kidding,” Lena spoke up, humor glinting through the tone she had set when she had answered the phone. “If we’re being honest, I didn’t like Taylor much anyway. But, I assume you didn’t call to talk about that so what can I do for you?”

“It’s about Austin,” Jess started, finally collecting her thoughts.

“Yes, I figured that much,” sighed Lena. “What about him?”

“He’s sorry.”

“He’s sorry? What exactly is he sorry for? And what are you? His apology secretary? Is there a reason he didn’t call me himself?”

Why had she done this? Fuck.

“He is sorry – for everything. He just doesn’t know it yet.” She paused and then continued when Lena remained silent. “He doesn’t even know that I called you.” Jess took another deep breath and leaned back, deeper into the sofa, trying to situate her swollen belly – her swollen body, really – into a position that wasn’t complete and utter agonizing misery. “I know that you’ve known him longer than I have and I know that you are his best friend but I also know that both of you are being, what did you say, obtuse asshats?”

“Look, Jess-”

“No,” Jess interrupted, propping her feet on the coffee table, noticing her flaking toe nail polish. She’d have to paint them today before she got so big she couldn’t reach her feet anymore. “You look. You haven’t talked to Austin in what, 7 months? I accept responsibility for that. I was the reason that you guys fought in the first place, but a lot has happened in that 7 months. I know he’s too stubborn to admit defeat and call you first – I imagine you’re the same way – but you’ve been his best friend for four years, Lena. You need each other and the way I see it, if I hadn’t have called you, this could have gone on forever.”

The line was quiet for a minute. Jess knew she was still there because she heard the giggles of a child in the background. She absent-mindedly placed a hand on the growing swell of her stomach.

“I don’t know what to say,” Lena sighed. “I’m still mad at him. He had no right to…” she kept going on but Jess heard the sound of the key slipping into the lock, and her eyes widened at the prospect of getting caught. She immediately ended the call and swung her legs off of the coffee table, placing his phone down on the wooden surface instead.

“Hey, did I leave my phone here?” he called out from the kitchen as he set his handful of grocery bags down on the counter. “I was going to call you to see if you wanted tacos for dinner but-”

“Always yes to tacos” she called back. “And yeah, it’s right here.” She looked at his phone and silently cursed herself as Lena’s name and a picture of her and Austin, dressed to the nines for some formal event, flashed across the screen as it angrily vibrated against the surface of the scuffed table. She grabbed it and rose from the couch, swiping her thumb across the screen to accept the call.

“Austin’s phone,” she answered, crossing the threshold into the kitchen.

“I think my phone dropped the call or something” Lena said, sounding less than convinced that that was actually what had happened.

“Oh yes, he’s right here” she said, attempting to hand the phone off to Austin, who’s hands were covered in olive juice after digging through the jar in an attempt to snag one of the last few floating, sour snacks. He would never use a spoon, as she often suggested.

“Who is it?” he asked, mouth full. She shrugged and placed the phone up to his ear. He captured it between his ear and shoulder, balancing it as he rinsed his hands off.
“Hello?”

Jess took a few steps back but didn’t fully escape the kitchen as he eyed her suspiciously. He swallowed what he had in his mouth and continued to stare at Jess. His eyebrows knit in confusion, but he listened intently to whatever was being said on the other end of the line.

“Lena, I-” but it seemed as if he was cut off . From what he had heard of Lena, she liked to talk. And boy did they have some catching up to do. He rested his elbow on the counter, his forehead resting on the upturned palm of his hand, eyes closed. Jess backed the last few inches out of the kitchen and made her way through the bedroom to the bathroom. As curious and as nosy as she was, she wanted to give him … them… their space. Besides, she thought as she opened the drawer to the side of the cabinet, she had some toenails that demanded her attention… and energy.

//\\//\\//\\

30 minutes later Austin knocked on the door. She sucked in her tears and remained quiet, but he’d heard her and cracked he door open a tiny bit, not bothering to wait for her permission.

“Are you cr-”

“Yes, okay,” she practically sobbed, slamming the nail polish down on the counter. “I’m crying.”

“Why are y-“

“Because,” she sobbed again, turning away from him from her spot on top of the closed toilet lid, wiping her eyes. “I can’t even reach my toes comfortably.”

He tried to hold in the laugh but failed miserably. He almost felt bad as she started to get more frustrated but he was used to this. Every other day or so she found something to cry about – animals, food, stupid television shows – and today, today it was nail polish. He stepped through the threshold of the bathroom, grabbing the vial of the pale teal polish she had slammed down in frustration and sat down on the small space of floor in front of her. He uncapped the polish and wiped the excess off on the inside rim of the bottle. He set the pot down on the tile next to him and gently pulled one of her feet onto his lap. She yanked it back and shook her head.

“Don’t,” she sighed, yanking her foot back and covering her face with her hands. “I’m gross. I know you don’t want to touch me.”

“You’re not gross,” he answered simply, gently pulling her foot back to his lap. He lowered the brush and started to paint her big toe. He was god awful at it, but he knew she couldn’t expect them up close and he was banking on that.

She sniffled and finally looked at him. He looked slightly annoyed, but she could also somehow sense that he was thankful for this little task, something to keep him busy while he processed. She could feel the polish cold on her skin where he was making a mess, but she ignored it. She quietly watched him as he painted toe after toe. He moved onto the other foot, still making a mess of it, but it was nice. She had him for a whole two weeks before he went back to Nashville to work on the house that was being built for his mom. From the pictures he brought back, it was going to be beautiful. She hated it when he was gone. His friends hadn’t warmed to her yet, and that was okay - she supposed that was her fault. His friends were also her sister’s friends and Peyton hadn’t talked to her in 6 months and that was okay too. She hadn’t made any steps to mend that either.

“There,” he said, capping the nail polish and sitting back to admire his work. He gently blew on her toes in hopes of them drying faster.

“Needs a second coat.”

“Hell. Really?” he asked, leaning back against the wall and finally looking up at her. Her hair had grown a considerable amount since she had showed up at his door six months ago. Her bruises had long since healed, but he could still remember exactly where they had marked her skin. His gaze slid over her lips, once busted from the anger of a weak man. Boy, really. It didn’t escaped him, how beautiful she really was. It never had, but he kept that to himself. It wasn’t like it used to be with them anymore. They were friends. That was all he could handle right now.

He uncapped the nail polish again and set to work – going over her toes for a second time.

“You had no right to do that,” he finally said after he had moved on to her other foot.
“What?” she asked. He shook his head and dipped the brush back into the pot before continuing to royally screw up her nails.

“You know what.” She remained quiet as she watched him. “It was none of your business, Jess.” A look of regret flashed on her face but only lingered there for a second.

“I made it my business.”

“You had no right to make it your business,” he stated calmly, capping the nail polish and reaching up to set it down on the counter. He softly blew on her toenails once again.

“Now it needs clear coat,” she mumbled, reaching for the bottle and handing it to him,

“Jesus,” he muttered, grabbing the bottle out of her hands and setting it down on the floor. “Do you know how infuriating you are sometimes?”

“Yes,” she answered, making him crack a sliver of a smile. “Did you guys work it out?”

“We di-” He was cut off when they heard a knock come from the front of the apartment.

“Who could that be? Can you get it?” she asked, taking her foot from his lap.

“I have to take a leak,” he informed her, laughing at her look of general disgust.

“But my nails are still wet.”

“Well the floor is about to be wet if you make me wait any longer.”

“Fine,” she sighed, pushing herself out of her seated position. She closed the door to the bathroom behind her as she made her way to the front of the apartment. She was glad Austin couldn’t see her doing that waddle walk women did when they were trying to keep their toes from touching anything while they were still wet. The knock sounded on the door again.

“Coming,” she called out, unlocking the door and opening it. “What are you doing here?” she asked, eyes narrowing. She had tried to keep the annoyance out of her tone but even she knew she was failing at that.

“Where’s Austin?” Peyton asked, stepping around her sister’s ever-growing frame and into the apartment.

“Please, come on in,” Jess insisted, dryly. Peyton looked around, confusion plain on her face.

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the restroom. Did he know you were coming?”

“He called me like an hour ago, told me to meet him here.”

“An hour ago? He didn’t even have his phone an hour ago. He left it here when he went to the store.”

“He called me from your phone – said his was having problems.”

“Asshole stole my phone,” she muttered, eyebrows knitting in anger. Peyton finally examined her sister – half sister – for the first time since her first night in Arizona.

“Holy shit,” she said, a hint of humor in her voice, “you really are pregnant.” Jess’ hand went to her stomach and she looked down at the 6 months of baby she had baking in her oven. She smiled and shrugged, looking at Peyton. “Yeah. There’s really a little human in there”

“Know what you’re having yet?” she asked, taking a step closer and using her eyes to ask her half sister. Jess nodded a reply and let Peyton touch her stomach. That would never not be weird to her, people wanting to touch her stomach, but she didn’t mind it so much now.

“No. We decided we wanted to be surprised.”

“And you’re sure it’s Austin’s?” Peyton asked. Jess’ face fell as she stepped back, leaning on the arm of the sofa.

“You know, I’m really tired of you treating me the way you do, Pey.”

“I’m not treating you -”

“No,” Jess interrupted, throwing her hand up to signal that she wasn’t done. “For years you’ve looked down on me. You don’t even know me, not really. Your life was here. Mine was in Alabama. We grew up five states away from each other – and have spent maybe 6 summers together our whole lives. Why have you always painted me in the worst light? It’s not like you’ve ever tried to get to know me.”

Peyton dropped her purse by the door and shrugged out of her jacket, draping it over one of the chairs at the bar. She pulled the chair out and hopped up, turning to face Jess.

“Can you blame me?” she took a deep breath and shook her head, her brown eyes settling on her sister’s from across the room. “You’ve been a giant mess your whole life.”

“I have no-” It was Peyton’s turn to throw up her hand, letting her sister know that she had the floor. Jess closed her mouth and settled back.

“Did you know that mom used to call me when you were in high school scared shitless that you were screwing up your life?”

“No she didn’t,” Jess sighed, glaring at Peyton.

“She did. You were hanging out with, uh what was his name… James?” Jess winced at the sound of his name. “I don’t know why she called me to talk about it. I was a kid myself, not much older than you. But she called me to get advice. No matter what she or Ted told you, you were going to do whatever you wanted. You’ve been that way since you were a kid. The day mom found pills in your room, I talked her out of sending you to boarding school. You were 15 for god’s sake.”

“You did not. Mom and dad couldn’t afford boarding school.”

“No,” she shook her head. “They couldn’t. But she would have scraped the money together somehow. But I told her that the same shit happened in boarding school. It was better for you to be close by.”

“Why didn’t I know any of this?”

“Because,” Peyton shrugged. “Mom was always so scared that you were going to hate her. Then one day, she called me and you were her little girl again. Some time passed and then you weren’t. It was a cycle that kept repeating itself for a while. Then one day she called and told me she made you go to rehab. God, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her cry that much in my life. She was so disappointed in you.” Peyton watched as Jess’ eyes started to fill with water. “Then the whole thing with John happened and I’m sorry, Jess, but I’ve been your sister way longer than Austin has been in your life, So I’m sorry if I ask you questions that bother you or say something that angers you. I just don’t want you to hurt anyone. You’re like a ticking time bomb and one day you’re just going to explode and destroy everything and everyone.”

“You don’t know me,” Jess sobbed, the tears freely rolling down her face. She swiped at them, sucking her tears back and letting her anger take over. “Like I said, we barely spent any time together growing up. God, you never even gave me a chance. You hated me the moment I came into the world. You punished mom until the day she died, Peyton.”

“You’re right,” Peyton nodded, frustratingly running her hands down her thighs to rest on her knees. “I did, and now it’s too late and I’ve been dealing with that for the past 7 months. It was never her fault. I just hated that she replaced me. My whole life, I hated you because you replaced me.”

“I hated you because no matter what I did, I was never going to be as good as you.” Both sisters were watching each other, both scraping the tears out of their eyes.

“She loved us, both, no matter what we did,” Peyton finally spoke up after a long bout of silence. She stood up and started walking over to Jess. “And I love you, no mater what I’ve said or done in the past that says otherwise. You’re my sister,”

“Don’t you mean half sister,” Jess asked. That was the first time Peyton had ever left off the ‘half’. She had always made is sound like a dirty word.

“No,” she smiled, enveloping Jess in a tight squeeze. “Sister.”

“I love you, too,” Jess sighed, resting her head on her sister’s shoulder. “God that felt weird to say.”

“I know. I don’t think we’ve ever really said it to each other and meant it.” Both sister’s laughed.

//\\//\\//\\

They talked for another few hours until Peyton had to go to tuck in the twins. Olivia was at a slumber party, she had been informed, and she had to admit it was weird to be privileged enough to hear about her family. Peyton had never offered up any information before. This was where things started to change. She opened the bedroom door to find Austin sitting there on his laptop.

“You had no right to do that,” she started.

“What?”

“You know what.”

He smiled as he sat his laptop down on the bed side table and patted the bed next to him. She rolled her eyes but climbed into the bed and wrapped her arm around his torso, snuggling into the crook of his arm. They were silent for a while, both thinking about the events of the day.

“What are the chances that we both played interference on the same day?” he chuckled, staring up at the ceiling.

“Great minds,” she sighed, closing her eyes. “Hey Austin,” she started.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, before she even had to say it. “Thank you, too.”

“Welcome,” she replied with a yawn. He carefully reached over her and closed his laptop before turning the lamp off.

“Night.”

"Goodnight, Austin."