Thank You

The fact that Jessica hadn’t really taken the time to get to know the other guys was currently biting her in the ass. Ever since Taylor had arrived, it was Taylor this, Taylor that. Taylor was liked by all of the guys because she practically was one of the guys. Even Joel liked her, which Jessica thought was insane. The way he glared at Jessica made her think that he couldn’t possibly like anyone, but there they were, sitting across the table from her, tossing jokes back and forth. As she looked around the table, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at how Taylor had every single one of them wrapped around her tiny, stupid, perfect finger.

“So, have you guys decided?” the waitress interrupted the laughter and I was never more happy for a person to exist.

“Oh, no. I’m not, sorry.” Austin said, flashing the waitress that grin that Jessica could only imagine had granted him entrance into many girls’ pants, including her own. “I haven’t even looked at the menu.”

“Of course you haven’t,” Jessica mumbled under her breath. “It’s IHop, Austin. The menu hasn’t changed.” She watched as seven sets of eyes glared at her. Everyone did but Austin, who just continued to glance over his menu.

“Right. I’ll just have a ham and cheese omelet.”

“I’ll have a the same thing,” Taylor piped in. “Just no ham.”

Jessica rolled her eyes and then ignored the rest of the guys’ orders. She glanced down at her hands, her menu, anywhere that wasn’t Austin. She could feel his gaze on her. When it was her turn to order, she mumbled her order of hash browns and handed the menu to Debbie, which apparently was the waitress’s name.

“You’re only getting hash browns?” Austin asked her as the rest of the guys started talking to Taylor again.

“Yes. Is that a problem?” she answered, sitting back and crossing her arms.

“You wouldn’t shut up about how hungry you were and then all you order is fucking hash browns?”

“Since when do you care what I eat, dad?”

“Outside.”

“Excuse me?”

“Outside, now.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Excuse us,” Austin said, making Taylor and Joel stand as he slid out of the booth.

“I’m not going,” Jessica scoffed, staring at Austin. He politely asked Ryan and Trey to stand up as he yanked her arm and practically dragged her out of the booth. As soon as they reached the door, she yanked her arms away and rubbed the spot where his fingers dug in. “What is your problem?”

“My problem? What is your problem? Are you jealous of Taylor or something, because let me tell you something, sweetheart, that woman in there means the absolute world to me. Your constant death glares and muttering are doing nothing but pissing me off.”

She stared him down and then her expression softened. “I’m sorry, Austin.”

“Wait, what? You’re sorry? I thought you were going to come out here and fight with me or something.”

“You’re right, I’ve been awful. I just haven’t really gotten to know the rest of the guys and you’re the only one I’ve talked to since I left home.”

“And now that Taylor’s here, you’re what, jealous?”

“Well, lonely, I guess.”

“She’s leaving tomorrow, and then it will be you and me again. I’m sorry you haven’t really gotten to know the guys. They’re pretty great.”

“Yeah, well, you do know that we only have two more days until we get to Seattle, right?”

“We do?”

“Yeah. Two days,” she nodded, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jean jacket.

“Oh, so that’s what is really wrong with you.”

She shrugged and finally let herself look at him. “You’re probably the best friend I have. I know we fight and you worry about me too much, but once we get to Seattle, we are going to part ways. Who knows when we’ll see each other again?”

“Trust me, darlin’. This ain’t over,” he laughed, throwing his arm around her shoulder and leading her back into the restaurant.

That gave her some comfort. She even made the effort to stop mocking Taylor behind her back and actually join in on some of the conversations at the breakfast table.

Taylor even hung out with her while she was shooting This Century’s set, laughing at the guys and making fun of Joel when the girls went crazy over him. She thought about Austin’s chat earlier and how letting her misplaced hate for Taylor go made her feel even the slightest bit better. She may have even actually liked her now, not that she would admit it to anyone. She barely admitted it to herself. Austin had somehow become her best friend and she wanted him to be happy.

//\\//\\

What Jessica wasn’t prepared for was when they stopped for the night at a hotel. It was the first time this entire tour and Jessica had an idea why Austin and Taylor were so adamant about it. After everyone had paired up, save for Ryan, who requested his own room, Jessica was left alone in a king size bed, her thoughts and a really bad case of insomnia. Of course, hearing Austin and Taylor through the wall only made matters worse. Jessica shoved her head under her pillow, hoping to drown out some of the sounds that were escaping through the paper-thin wall, but it was no use. All she could hear was Austin’s constant laughing and Taylor’s giggles.

After lying there for a few more minutes, she let out a groan and threw the covers off in one sudden rush, hopping out of the bed and throwing a sweatshirt on. Slipping her shoes on, she grabbed the pack of cigarettes she had stolen from Austin earlier and made the short trek outside. Jessica was thankful for the sweatshirt she had thrown on because the temperature had dropped at least 20 degrees. It wasn’t like this in Georgia. She sat by the pool and ignored the “No Smoking” sign. It was past midnight and she wasn’t worried about somebody busting her. The smoke collected in her lungs and as she released it, she released some of the stress she had been carrying around with her. She held the cigarette between her lips as she rolled up her pajama pants and plunged her feet into the water. It was chilly enough to send a shiver through her body.

She sat there for a while, chain smoking and thinking about everything she had left behind in Georgia when her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door shut and a familiar voice.

“No, I can’t just tell him right off the bat. – I know that’s why I came out here, but you know how he is… Just give me a day or two. – I miss you, too. I know, I don’t regret it either. I love you too, Eric.”

Jessica’s eyes had practically bugged out of her head at the mention of Austin’s best friend. She heard so much about him, and Austin always held him at a high standard. She leaned over far enough to try to get a visual but Taylor had already receded into the hotel.
After returning to her room, she paced the floor back and forth, trying to decide what she should do. If she told Austin, she would be the one he despised for ruining his happiness. If she didn’t, she couldn’t be too sure that Taylor would tell him and he would be in a relationship that was a lie. She reached for her purse and took at the small, silver vial. As she unscrewed the lid, she felt her body hum with excitement and anticipation, which was something she had missed, oddly. Just as she was about to dip into the vial, she all but jumped out of her skin when she heard someone knock on the door. She glanced at the clock and sighed when it read 2:04 am.

“Who is it?” she called out, placing the vile back in her bag and kicking it under the bed.

“Austin. Who else would it be?” she heard him chuckle.

“Coming,” she called out as she tripped over the straps to her bag. “What’s up?” she let out as she finally unlatched the door.

“Well, we heard you pacing…”

“Really? You heard that through the wall?”

“Mhm. You okay?”

“Um, yeah.”

“You’re lying,” he said, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him.

“It’s 2 am, Austin. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Nope, not until you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” he sat down on the bed and rested his chin on his hand, looking at her through his big dark brown eyes.

Jessica took a deep breath and then opened her mouth but immediately shut it. She bit her lip and shook her head. “Go ask Taylor.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” she sighed again, crossing her arms. “I need to go to bed, Austin.”

“No, tell me what you mean.”

She really wished Austin would drop it, walk out of the room and go ask Taylor himself, but that wasn’t happening.

“Nevermind, just get out,” she demanded, trying to push Austin off of the bed.

“Tell me.”

“God, you’re fucking stubborn.”

“Look. Taylor just showed up out of nowhere and at first I thought that was great. But she hasn’t exactly been herself. I have this feeling that she’s trying to tell me something but every time she is about to do it, she just changes the subject. If you know what it is, please, tell me.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. You’re my best friend, Austin. I just want you to be happy and I think it would be better coming from her mouth, not mine.”

“She’s leaving me, isn’t she?”

“Ugh. Go ask her,” she tried one more time.

“Jessica…”

“She’s cheating on you.”

“What?”

“With Eric.”

“No,” he breathed with a shake of his head. “You’re lying.”

“Why would I lie to you about this?”

He glared at her and then shot up off of the bed and through the door. He didn’t return for the rest of the night. Jessica knew that because she didn’t sleep a wink, hoping he would come back and say that she heard wrong. Unfortunately, she knew she didn’t. She was left alone with her vial and her thoughts.