Society Sucks.

I plaster a fake smile on my face as my mother celebrates my arrival back home. So here's an update: Ever since I've got home I've been treated like porcelain, with a mixture of failure. Don't understand? Think of it like acting. You can act like you care when really, your just disappointed. My parents seem like they're acting to care when, honestly I can tell I've failed their 'perfect daughter test'. My brother brought Leslie over to our house. With a fucking engagement ring on. I internally rolled my eyes as she sweetly (but fakely) asked me to be her maid-of-honor, but externally smiled and squealed my faux excitement. I haven't talked to Toby yet, mostly because I'm way to scared that he'll still be mad at me. And because generally my parents won't let leave the house, because they 'missed me while I was gone' and 'We just got you back, you can't leave!' And other absurd excuses. In other words, I've laid around the house everyday, reading cheesy romances, and watching movies. I was pretty content with my time-consumer to be honest. Last but not least, I haven't cut since I've been home. I have purposely thrown up, still feeling disgusted with my weight.

Currently, I'm hugging my brother and soon to be sister-in-law goodbye. As soon as the door closes, I say goodnight to my parents and walk up the stairs to my bedroom. I turn on my music, and slowly drift into a deep sleep.

•••••••••••••••••••••

"Wake the hell up!"
I groan at the loud voice. "Go away."
"Danica, wake up."
I open one eye at the familiar voice that I haven't heard in a while. I sit up straight, and hug her so tightly that she gasps.
"I missed you too, but if you don't let me go, I'll probably pass out." Destiny says laughing.
I pull back and smile sheepishly.
"So. Where the hell have you been?"
I look at her, confused, "Didn't you hear?"
Now it's her turn to be confused. "Hear what?"
I sigh deeply, not really sure of how I'm going to start my explanation. "Well..."
"Well what? Spit it out Dani."
I decide to start from the beginning, telling her when I started cutting, and ended with going to the hospital.
She just kind of stared at me blankly. After recovering from her state, she says, "Wow. That really sucks."
I let out a breathy laugh, "Which part, me cutting, or me going to the hospital?"
"Both." I nod and avert my eyes away from her.
"Are you still my friend?" I blurt.
She looks at me, and furrows her eyebrows. "When was I ever your friend?" I look down. "I thought we were best friends." She says in a demanding tone. I look up, relief flooding my veins, and grin like a fool.
I wrap my arms around her neck, "I thought you were going to think I was crazy.." I admitted quietly.
She lets out a loud snort, "One, I already thought you were crazy," she smirks "and two, it's going to take a hell of a lot more to get rid of me." She says. I laugh.
"Is there anything else I should know?" She asks.
I contemplate whether or not I should tell her about my eating problems, deciding not to.
"Nah, your all caught up." I lie. "We'll accept for one thing...." I say smiling.
"What?" She mirrors my smile.
"We'll when I was in the hospital, I met this guy.."
She sqeals with excitement. "Ooh! What's his name?"
I laugh at her enthusiasm, "Toby."
"Nice, nice. Do you have a crush?" She asks grinning widely.
"Possibly.."
"Continue."
"Well when I left, he kinda got mad at me. And I haven't visited him yet, that's even if the hospital will allow it." I say sadly.
"Aw, I'm sure it'll work out eventually."
"I sure hope so.."