Perfect Insanity

I kept staring up into the night sky hoping that mom was looking down on me and seeing how happy I am now. If she would have just ignored whatever happened back then, she would be here with dad helping raise me but she had to be stupid and listen to that bitch. Don’t I have enough to worry about without having this to deal with?

“Why mom…why did you listen to her?” I whispered as I looked back down to the ground.

“Rayven, come on in honey.” I looked over at the house as Matt, Zacky, and dad stood there waiting for me. I looked once more into the sky before walking back over to the porch and going inside with them. We went back into the living room and sat in front of the TV watching some movie. Matt was on one side of me and Zacky was on the other. Halfway through the movie, that I wasn’t paying hardly any attention too, I started feeling really tired. I leaned into Zacky’s side and he draped an arm across me rubbing my side. It felt so comforting and not hurtful. I closed my eyes and it didn’t take long for me to fall off to sleep.

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The early morning sun shone through the curtains waking me but I kept my eyes shut. I really didn’t want to get out of bed. I opened one eye and looked over at the clock and it was almost noon. I sat up slowly and looked around my new room. I needed something that expressed me in this room. Something to make it like me but what? I got up from the bed and grabbed some clothes from my closet and went into my bathroom and took a well-deserved shower. I looked down at the word on my collar and rubbed over it slowly with the wash cloth. I wonder how long this is going to take to go away. What if it doesn’t go away and it turns into a horrible and nasty scar? Who would want to date someone with the word Whore carved into them?

I stepped out of the steamy shower and dried myself off and clothed. I looked into the mirror and there was someone else standing there. I looked behind me but no one was there. I looked back into the mirror and the same person was still there.

Hello Rayven.

“Who are you?” I asked taking a step back.

I’m your inner being. You could call me a second personality. I’m the one who talks to you Rayven. I’m the one who tried to get you to kill that son of a bitch who almost killed you and the man who murdered your mother.

“Why are you here and showing yourself now?” I asked confused.

I’m here to make sure nothing ever happens again. We’re connected Rayven.

“My dad and the guys can protect me.” I said shaking my head.

But what if there is a situation where they can’t?

“That won’t happen again.” I said gathering up my dirty clothes.

How do you know that Rayven? What if he comes back and takes you away while there’s no one here to protect you.

“I’ll run.” I stated simply.

You can’t run from everything young one. Let’s just say I’m your defense mechanism.

“A defense mechanism?” I asked questionably.

Yes. I’ll be sort of like your inner body guard. All you’ll have to do is let me out and you’ll be protected from anything.

“How can you be so certain?” I asked sitting down on the side of the tub.

Nothing can stop me Rayven. No one can defeat me.

I didn’t know what to say to this mysterious person who apparently lives inside of me.

I’m Damien by the way.

“Damien the protector. It has a nice ring to it.” I said smiling.

So what do you say Rayven?

“I’ll trust you to do the right thing at the appropriate time.” I said nodding.

Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll do what you instruct. I must go now so keep looking out for him alright.

“I will.” I said and the face in the mirror disappeared. What in the hell was that all about? I shook my head and left the bathroom and placed the clothes into a laundry basket that was beside the door of my room. I pulled on my shoes and left my room. I didn’t hear anything in the house so I guessed they were all still asleep. I made my way downstairs and went into the kitchen where dad was getting things out to make breakfast.

“Morning dad.” I said sitting down.

“Good morning. I hope you’re hungry.”

“I am a little.” I said as I watched him beginning to cook. The smell of the food was making me hungrier than I thought I was. Dad put everything into separate dishes and placed them on the table.

“Fix you a plate and I’ll go get the guys.” Dad said as he left the kitchen. I fixed me a plate and sat back down at the bar and started eating as everyone else came into the kitchen. I watched as they sat around eating the food as fast as they could put it on their plates and to say they liked the food would be crazy. Everyone got up and left the room except dad and me.

“Thanks guys for helping me clean up!” dad yelled as they left the kitchen.

“No problem.” Jimmy said poking his head into the room and smiling before horse laughing and leaving my dad shaking his head.

“I’ll help you dad.” I said grabbing the plates and utensils from the table and taking them over to the sink.

“Thanks baby girl. I’ll wash and you dry.” I nodded and we went to work. I made sure not to drop a single plate as I dried them off. Dad showed me where the plates go and which drawer the utensils go in and soon we were completely finished.

“We make a pretty good team if I do say so myself.”

“I agree with you there dad.” I said smiling as I wiped down the table with a wet rag.

“I’m going to take a quick shower and then we’ll all head out to the mall to get some stuff for you and your room.”

“Okay.” I said as I scooted all the chairs back up to the table. I took the rag and hung it on the divider on the sink and looked down at my arms. Even though he’ll never be able to get me, he still lives in my memory with the scars he’s left on my body.

“You and Brian finish everything in here.” I turned around and almost jumped out of my skin.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright Zacky.” I said washing out the sink.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No...I’m fine. Thanks for asking Zacky.” I said rinsing out the sink.

“You sure?”

“Yeah Zacky. Don’t worry about me.” I said smiling.

“Sorry kiddo but there’s no way I can do that. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Zacky, please I’m fine.” I said shaking my head.

“Alright but I’m here.”

“I know.” I said sitting down at the bar.

“You guys ready to go?”

“Yeah dad.” I said getting up and going into the living room.

-------------Zacky’s POV---------------

I watched as she left the kitchen and heard the guys talking to her. I think I need to talk to Brian.

“Hey Brian, can I talk to you before we go.” I said sitting down.

“Yeah sure. What’s on your mind?”

“I’m worried about Rayven.” I said looking at her in the living room.

“I am too man. We all are.”

“She seems like she has something on her mind that she wants to say but she just won’t.” I said honestly.

“She’ll tell us in time Zacky.”

“I hope so.” I said looking down.

“You got something on your mind?”

“Yeah I do actually. I’m thinking I should confront Gena about what Michelle said. I just can’t come up for a good way to expose her.” I explained in thought.

“Try and make her think you’re pissed off about Rayven being here and then she’ll have to say something.”

“I’ll try it but I don’t know if it will work.” I said shrugging.

“Excuse me for saying this but Gena couldn’t keep Hitler’s best secret.”

“I know but I don’t want her catching on that I’m lying.” I said standing to my feet.

“Then don’t say a word to anyone else.”

“Good point.” I said and we went out of the house with everyone and piled into Jimmy’s SUV. I drove over to the mall and I would look up ever so often and see Rayven staring out the window. I hope she’s going to be alright. I parked in a space and we all piled out and went our separate ways in the mall.

“Zacky, take Rayven anywhere in the mall she wants to go. I’ve got to get her something I know she’ll like.”

“Sure man.” I said and I walked on with Rayven.

“So where would you like to go first?” I asked as we walked.

“I have no idea. Is there a Hot Topic here?”

“Hell yeah. It’s my all-time favorite store.” I said smiling.

“Cool mine too.”

“I think we’ll get along very well.” I said laughing slightly. Hot Topic came into view and I challenged her to race me. Of course I let her win.

“You see anything you want, you can have it.” I said smiling.

“I can’t let you buy me everything Zacky.”

“Why not? Its things you need to start new. Besides it’ll be my gift to you.” I said smiling as we looked around. She picked up a t-shirt of ours and she handed it to me.

“You like our music?” I asked smiling.

“Never heard it. I just like the logos and decals.”

“We’ll have to play for you.” I said as she picked up some more things.

“That would be awesome.” We went through the whole store and found some amazing things before I paid for them. We walked around the mall together without any fans pulverizing us and it was a nice change. My phone buzzed and I checked it.

~Meet at the food court for lunch in 10. ~Brian

“That was your dad. We all have to meet for food.” I said putting my phone away.

“Alright let’s go.” We left the bed store and made our way towards the food court in the middle of the mall. As we got closer the guys were sat down with some food and already eating.

We sat down and started eating and it was really good for mall food. Usually it sucks. When we finished we all looked around the mall for a while longer before heading back to Brian’s house.

-------------Rayven’s POV--------------

When Zacky pulled up into the driveway at my house a strange car was parked outside. I had no idea who it was. We got out and I seen the person standing on the porch.

“Carl, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve got some great news and I thought I would deliver it personally.” Mr. Stanton said smiling.

“What is it?”

“Bill Aumor was caught leaving this state just 20 minutes ago and he’s in the county jail. A judge is to see him tomorrow at 9 AM. So Rayven you’ll need to be there about 8:30 in the morning so I can go over with you about what will go on.” Mr. Stanton said still smiling. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe he’s been in this state this whole time. He could have come here anytime he wanted to and got me.

“That is wonderful news! Isn’t Rayven?” I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t say a thing. I was hoping it would take more time to catch him.

“What about my mom? Have the police in Missouri been there yet?” I asked finally speaking.

“Yes Rayven. They found her in the state you explained.”

“She was still strung up?” I asked confused.

“Yes she was.” I turned around putting my hand on my forehead. I could feel the anger building up inside me.

Let me out Rayven.

“No.” I whispered angrily.

You know you want to let me out.

“No.” I said louder.

“Rayven who are you talking too?”

You want revenge for his actions.

“Shut up.” I said closing my eyes.

You…want…him…dead!

“No! Just shut the fuck up!” I screamed before looking at the others. I shook my head and walked into the house and up to my room locking the door behind me and sliding down the door to the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my head there as I let the rage and anger boil in my veins.

------------Brian’s POV----------------

“What the hell was that all about?”

“I have no idea guys.” I said hanging my head.

“I think she just needs some time alone.”

“I need to go and calm her down.” I said as I took her bags and went into the house. I could hear everyone behind me as I went up the stairs. I knocked on the door but there was no answer.

“Rayven honey, please open the door.” I said as I knocked.

“Please just go away. I don’t know what happened back there.”

“We don’t have to talk about that. I just want to give you your things.” I said and I heard the door unlock and it opened.

“Give me the stuff.”

“Can we talk? Please.” I pleaded. She nodded and I came in shutting the door behind me.

“What’s going on honey?” I asked as I sat down.

“It’s nothing dad.”

“Honey please tell me.” I said worryingly.
“It’s what Carl said about mom. That bastard didn’t even take her down after he dropped me here. He kept her strung up on the wall like a side of meat. All I want is for him to be put away for a long time. I want someone to show him how it felt to be in my position.”

“I know sweetheart. It’s hard to put into words about how you’re feeling but I just want you to know that I will always protect you from anything.” I said wrapping an arm around her. She leaned into me and I could feel the tears seeping through my shirt.

“I don’t want him to get out and come for me. If he comes and takes me away, I know he’ll kill me.”

“He won’t come near you sweetheart. I promise you that.” I said looking into her eyes. I wiped away the tears that fell and held her tightly against me.

“I’ll give you a minute and then we all can sit down and watch some movies okay.” I said smiling.

“Alright dad.” I ruffled her hair smiling and kissed her cheek.

“Dad?”

“Yes?” I said looking down at her.

“Thank you for everything.”

“It’s my job baby girl. You’re my responsibility now.” I said smiling and she smiled the biggest smile she could. I kissed her forehead and she wiped her own tears from her eyes.

“I’ll be down in a minute. I just want to get everything put away. Can you tell the guys that I was just stressed out over hearing the news?”

“I will sweetheart.” I said as I got up and left the room. I leaned against the closed door and I knew from this moment on I have to do everything in my power to make her happy and forget all about what Bill has done to her.