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Perfect Insanity
Chapter Twelve
I watched as dad left the room shutting the door behind him. I should have told him what was actually wrong and why I said those things outside but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want him thinking I was too fucked up. I picked up my bag and took everything out before placing the items where they belong. I ripped off my sheets and put on the ones that were bought today and I knew it really fit the way I feel and the way I like it. I folded up my old sheets and placed them on the dresser across the room.
Why didn’t you let me out? You know how you felt when Carl told you about your mother.
“Why should I let you out for something like that? There’s nothing I could have done Damien.” I said as I threw the plastic shopping bag away.
I could have released all that built up anger that’s inside of you.
“I won’t take the chance Damien, especially when my dad is around. I don’t want him thinking that I’m too fucked up to handle.” I said truthfully.
If he thinks that, he thinks that. Who cares?
“I care. I’ve lost my mom and I don’t want to lose my dad.” I said and I forcefully pushed the voice to the back of my mind. I opened my bedroom door and went downstairs to join the guys in the living room as they played some kind of war game on the Xbox 360. It did get comical at times as Matt kept killing dad. Dad would cuss at Matt and tell him that he’s cheating. They can be really childish but at least I get to laugh at them.
Dad got fed up with dying all the time so he turned his controls over to Jimmy where he was kicking the living shit out of Matt. Now it was Matt’s turn to be all bitchy. It was really funny! I got up and went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge and taking a few deep gulps of the carbonated drink quenching my thirst.
“Hey Rayven, I got this for you while at the mall.” Dad handed me a cell phone.
“Thanks dad.” I said smiling.
“No problem sweetheart. I’ve already got my number and the guys and Val, Lacy, and Leana’s numbers in there for you.”
“Cool.” I said looking at the touch screen phone that was in my hand. I started scrolling through everything getting myself familiar with it as dad led me into the living room. I sat down and Zacky showed me a few things and I started taking pictures of all the guys and taking a video of Matt when he started cussing at Jimmy. Jimmy was always come back with something smart-assed and it would shut Matt up until Jimmy killed him. All I could do was shake my head and laugh at those 2.
Most of the day was watching everyone playing a game on the Xbox but my mind was too immersed in about what was going to happen tomorrow. I know Bill would be in the courtroom but what is my lawyer going to say to the judge until a hearing is scheduled? Would Bill try anything in the courtroom? Who knows what will happen tomorrow.
Later that night, dad ordered take out for us and we sat around the TV watching movies and eating the food. I don’t see how those guys each so much food. I could barely eat all of mine but I made sure to put my leftovers in the back of the fridge so no one would get it. I used to do that all the time when I was still in Missouri. Habits like that are hard to break.
Jimmy put in another movie and I propped myself up against the arm of the couch with my feet beside me on the couch. Every now and then I would catch Zacky staring at me but I wouldn’t let him know I knew. What was going on? Zacky couldn’t like me because he has Gena and I will not step in and break someone up like that. My mom did teach me something meaningful while she was alive. The movie made me jump once or twice and I think Matt seen that because he got up from his seat and came over to me and wrapped a protective arm around me.
I could feel myself getting tired as the movie progressed but I wanted to stay away so I could see what happened at the end but I just couldn’t keep my eyes from closing.
----------------------------------Matt’s POV----------------------------------------
The movie ended and I looked down at Rayven as she slept huddled into my side. I gently picked her up and carried her up the stairs and into her room where I laid her down on the bed. I covered her up and she immediately grabbed the pillow next to her and snuggled into it. She looked so at peace when she was asleep. Hopefully after this is all said and done with this Bill guy, she’ll be like this when she’s awake.
I quietly crept out of her room shutting the door behind me and going back downstairs where I told everyone goodbye and headed on to my house. Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy, and I have to go to the studio in the morning to do some more recording while Brian takes Rayven to the courthouse for the proceedings in her case against Bill. I parked my car in the driveway and silently made my way into the house and up to mine and Val’s room. She was already sleeping so I was real careful as I lay down beside her so she wouldn’t wake up. As I watched my beautiful wife sleep, it made me grow tired and sleep overcame me as I shut my eyes.
Why didn’t you let me out? You know how you felt when Carl told you about your mother.
“Why should I let you out for something like that? There’s nothing I could have done Damien.” I said as I threw the plastic shopping bag away.
I could have released all that built up anger that’s inside of you.
“I won’t take the chance Damien, especially when my dad is around. I don’t want him thinking that I’m too fucked up to handle.” I said truthfully.
If he thinks that, he thinks that. Who cares?
“I care. I’ve lost my mom and I don’t want to lose my dad.” I said and I forcefully pushed the voice to the back of my mind. I opened my bedroom door and went downstairs to join the guys in the living room as they played some kind of war game on the Xbox 360. It did get comical at times as Matt kept killing dad. Dad would cuss at Matt and tell him that he’s cheating. They can be really childish but at least I get to laugh at them.
Dad got fed up with dying all the time so he turned his controls over to Jimmy where he was kicking the living shit out of Matt. Now it was Matt’s turn to be all bitchy. It was really funny! I got up and went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge and taking a few deep gulps of the carbonated drink quenching my thirst.
“Hey Rayven, I got this for you while at the mall.” Dad handed me a cell phone.
“Thanks dad.” I said smiling.
“No problem sweetheart. I’ve already got my number and the guys and Val, Lacy, and Leana’s numbers in there for you.”
“Cool.” I said looking at the touch screen phone that was in my hand. I started scrolling through everything getting myself familiar with it as dad led me into the living room. I sat down and Zacky showed me a few things and I started taking pictures of all the guys and taking a video of Matt when he started cussing at Jimmy. Jimmy was always come back with something smart-assed and it would shut Matt up until Jimmy killed him. All I could do was shake my head and laugh at those 2.
Most of the day was watching everyone playing a game on the Xbox but my mind was too immersed in about what was going to happen tomorrow. I know Bill would be in the courtroom but what is my lawyer going to say to the judge until a hearing is scheduled? Would Bill try anything in the courtroom? Who knows what will happen tomorrow.
Later that night, dad ordered take out for us and we sat around the TV watching movies and eating the food. I don’t see how those guys each so much food. I could barely eat all of mine but I made sure to put my leftovers in the back of the fridge so no one would get it. I used to do that all the time when I was still in Missouri. Habits like that are hard to break.
Jimmy put in another movie and I propped myself up against the arm of the couch with my feet beside me on the couch. Every now and then I would catch Zacky staring at me but I wouldn’t let him know I knew. What was going on? Zacky couldn’t like me because he has Gena and I will not step in and break someone up like that. My mom did teach me something meaningful while she was alive. The movie made me jump once or twice and I think Matt seen that because he got up from his seat and came over to me and wrapped a protective arm around me.
I could feel myself getting tired as the movie progressed but I wanted to stay away so I could see what happened at the end but I just couldn’t keep my eyes from closing.
----------------------------------Matt’s POV----------------------------------------
The movie ended and I looked down at Rayven as she slept huddled into my side. I gently picked her up and carried her up the stairs and into her room where I laid her down on the bed. I covered her up and she immediately grabbed the pillow next to her and snuggled into it. She looked so at peace when she was asleep. Hopefully after this is all said and done with this Bill guy, she’ll be like this when she’s awake.
I quietly crept out of her room shutting the door behind me and going back downstairs where I told everyone goodbye and headed on to my house. Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy, and I have to go to the studio in the morning to do some more recording while Brian takes Rayven to the courthouse for the proceedings in her case against Bill. I parked my car in the driveway and silently made my way into the house and up to mine and Val’s room. She was already sleeping so I was real careful as I lay down beside her so she wouldn’t wake up. As I watched my beautiful wife sleep, it made me grow tired and sleep overcame me as I shut my eyes.
♠ ♠ ♠
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