All My Heart

A ripped photograph flutters to the ground next to Will's trashcan. It lands picture side up showing a tanned girl with dark hair and a thousand watt smile. A boy's hand rests on the girls shoulder, but that's the only clue as to who could be on the other side of the photograph.

Will stuffs the other half in the edge of his mirror. A reflection of himself stares back though the picture. Will sighs as he flicks the switch turning the overhead lights off. He drags himself to the
kitchen for a beer and slumps onto a stool. “Fuck,” he breathes.

Memories of her dance through Will's head. It's been two weeks since they went their separate ways. Two horribly depressing weeks and Will still can't get her out of his head. He tilts the bottle back as his eyes begin to blur. He never meant for this to happen. They were supposed to be forever. Will drains the last of his beer and throws the bottle against the far wall. He stands abruptly knocking back the stool and rips the refrigerator door open. One thing stands out with painful memories and he picks it up. Maraschino cherries. Will throws it as hard as he can watching the red juice splash the wall like blood. He sinks to the floor with his face in his hands.

“Sarah!” He screams.

Will stares across the coffee shop at a beautiful long legged girl. He's seen her here before but he's scared. Scared she won't like him. Scared she might think he's a loser awkwardly stuttering out a lame line. She looks so alone, he thinks, it's now or never. Will slowly makes his way to her table.

“Is this seat taken?” Will manages.

The girl looks up and stares at him. Will scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sure,” she drawls.

Will closes his eyes. He knows that was stupid. “I'm Will.” He opens his eyes and continues, “I couldn't help but notice you. Oh God I'm so stupid. I'm sorry-”

“I'm Sarah.” The girl smiles holding her coffee cup to her lips. “Are you going to ask me out?” She says with a hint of coyness in her voice.

“Um yeah,” he says lamely.

Sarah reaches in her bag and produces a pen. She scribbles on her receipt and throws her pen back. “Text me when,” she smiles and gets up to leave.

Will stares down at her number in disbelief. How did that work out? He had a pit in his stomach knowing he'd fail. Will slips the paper into his pocket and pushes open the door making the bells cheerily ring announcing his exit.

It's a warm summer evening in July as Will walks Sarah to the tiny ice cream stand downtown. They walk in a comfortable silence having just finish a filling Mexican dinner.

“I'll have a small strawberry waffle cone,” Sarah tells the man running the register.

“And I'll have a sundae,” Will says as he hands the man ten dollars. He turns to Sarah and says, “So... Strawberry? Huh? No toppings? You sure are crazy with your ice cream preferences.”

Sarah giggles as Will takes his change. “Oh ya know. I'm a crazy girl,” she says taking her cone and thanking the man.

The two pick a bench to sit on to eat their desserts. Will cracks a few lame jokes all of which Sarah laughed at. He smiles seeing her smile and thinks that had to be the prettiest smile he has ever seen. Will knocks the cherry aside and scoops up the last bite of ice cream.

“Are you not going to eat that?” She gestures towards the cherry.

Will looks up shaking his head. Sarah reaches over and plucks it from his styrofoam bowl. She pops the cherry, stem and all, into her mouth.

Will watches her as her mouth works. He can't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss those full lips. He imagines it being soft and gentle. Just as his mind gets going her tongue pokes out with a knotted cherry stem. She slowly picks the stem off her tongue and holds it out for Will to see.

“For me?” Will laughs.

Sarah nods as Will plucks the stem from her. “Thank you for this Will.” She sighs resting her head in her palm.

“You're welcome,” Will smiles holding out his hand for hers. She slips her fingers through his as they stand. They walk hand in hand down the sidewalk towards the place Will parked his car.

“This is me,” Sarah says as they make it up her front porch steps.
“Thanks again.”

“You're welcome...again,” Will smiles nervously. He debates whether it's too soon to kiss her or if he should. He wants to so badly after watching her lips tonight, but he feels he might come off too strong. She's looking uncomfortable in the long silence and begins turning towards the door, but Will catches her and leans in. They close their eyes as their lips press together. Will pauses a beat before pulling away looking her in the eyes. “Goodnight Sarah,” he whispers and turns to go home.

For the first time Will fell in love. He fell in love with Sarah and she, him. They would spend days together until she decided she didn't really need her apartment and she moved in to his place. Will would sing to her and Sarah gave him all of her heart. Their fights never lasted long and would always end in wild makeup sex. Until one day they didn't see eye to eye anymore. Every little thing one did bothered the other.

“Goddammit Will,” Sarah screamed. “I can't take it anymore.”

“You're the one staying out late and not telling me where you are,” he countered.

Sarah began sobbing. They both knew they weren't right for each other, but neither one wanted to end their two year relationship. Will longed to hold her and make everything go back to normal, but what was normal with them anymore? “Will you can't keep leaving when we fight and staying out until the morning,” Sarah reasoned.

“How many more fights are we going to have like this Sarah? Huh? When will we realize enough is enough?” Will shouted back hating to see her cry. He wanted nothing more but to see that thousand watt smile she used to give him.

“Stop yelling,” she screamed.

“How about you first?” Will's face began to grow red. He was on his last string. He didn't know how to make her happy anymore and enough was enough. “I think this is it for us Sarah. We're not enough for each other anymore and you know it. I want you gone when I get back.” Will stormed out the front door with his keys in hand. Slamming his car door shut, he jammed the key in the ignition and revved the engine. Will drove and drove until he cooled down and reluctantly decided to go home.

Sarah and her things were gone within twenty minutes. Tears steaming down her face as she left Will's house for the last time. She loved Will with every ounce if her being but he was right enough had to be enough. She really and truly believed that they would've gotten married one day but they screwed that up and now they're both alone.

A week later Will's heart still hurt for Sarah. He kept wishing she would come back though his door and run into his arms. Kissing him telling him she was so sorry and hoping he'd forgive her too. But she didn't. Will knew he'd never see her sweet face again and that killed him. A photograph of the two them sat in a frame by his bed. He picks it up as a sad smile spreads across his face. Then smashes the frame on the desk and pulls the picture out of the shards of glass. He takes one last look before ripping it in half.