I Never Told a Lie, and That Makes Me a Liar

Mesa, Arizona was hot. Hotter than hot, even. It was dry and flat and parched; it had no visible wildlife or plant life on the highways, and the towns were almost as bad. If it weren't for shopping centers and large freeway intersections, Arizona would be a deserted desert.
For that reason, we stayed indoors for the next several hours, enjoying chips and sandwiches and sodas whilst chatting amongst our friends. We couldn't have asked for anything better, it was absolutely terrific. But behind Alex and Zack's friendly façade I could tell they were at war. Which struck me as odd, to be quite honest. What would Alex want anything to do with me? I tried to come to a conclusion about the situation, of which neither of them knew I was aware, but before I could even put a seconds thought into it, Tay rambled in my ear about something that had to do with absolutely nothing. Typical Tay. She was my idol, and I will admit, I had a humongous girl crush on her, but there are some things that a person is simply not prepared for... Unfortunately, Tay's incessant talking was one of them.
I thoroughly enjoyed the set played that night. I wasn't brought on stage for any surprise acts this time, thank god, but I quietly enjoyed from the shadows. When Zack's bass caught a few bras there were lots of rioting laughs and screams. There were a lot of "I love you's" directed at Jack and Alex, to which their responses were quite rude and vulgar.
To be honest, the boys were total assholes on stage, just because they could be, but in reality they were some of the sweetest guys I had ever met. I hadn't known them for very long at all, but I believe that in your heart, when you meet someone you automatically can see into their hearts; see their true values. These boys had never shown any contemptuous feelings towards others or expressed dislike for anyone while i was around.They never talked crap or spoke badly if anyone. They seemed to always look for the good in others and above all, you could tell that they admired and loved their fans. They were the kind of people that are the kind of people everyone wants to hang out with. If that makes sense...
Even if they weren't famous they would still have that sort of magnetism that would make them all very well liked among all.
Even adorably shy Zack. However, on stage, he became something different. Someone entirely different. He sang loudly and made faces and laughed and smiled and jumped around, full of energy, full of life. He had a certain spark about him that was different and exciting. He would often glance over and smile at me throughout their set. Seeing him like that made me like him even more, but in an incredibly different way. I felt like i was falling in love with his soul.

When they took their break in the middle of the show for Alex's acoustic song Remembering Sunday, the first thing Zack did was run and give me the biggest, sweatiest hug I had ever experienced. He smelled so bad, I almost puked when I breathed in, but luckily I have a very high tolerance for icky-ness.
"So." Zack let go of me and stood in front of me, hands on his hips, "Whatdya think?" he said with a wink, ending with a pathetic excuse of a Bieber hair flip.
I looked at him with utter bewilderment. "Did you just try to be cheesy?" I asked sarcastically.
His face lit up and he kissed me on the cheek, picked me up, and carried me back to the water station with him. Both of us smiling all the way.
After the show the boys went out to the merch table, which I was supposed to run starting next show. The way those girls flocked the table scared me. I felt like they would all come trampling over me and kill me, damaging the merchandise in the process... Death by stampede- my new worst fear.
I followed the boys out and into the large crowd of screaming fangirls. I used to be one of those girls, but I realized freshman year that it was just ridiculous to scream at them. They'd be more likely to talk to you if you just remained calm and cool. I'm gonna be cocky here and say that i was a wise freshman indeed...
I decided it was better that the public not know what was going on with me and Zack, so we didn't play or smile or kiss like we usually did. I didn't want to be the cause of any heartache; I knew what it was like to be a dedicated fangirl.
After an hour and a half of shirts and socks and bras and underwear and shoes and boobs being signed, All Time Low had decided they had done enough. Alex and Rian went back to the bus first, Zack had disappeared over 45 minutes ago and Jack had found a "cutlet" that he was talking up and wanted to take back to the hotel room that several of them had rented for the night. I grabbed the remaining bras and other items that had been thrown on stage and dropped them off with Rian at the bus.
"Hey Rian have you seen Zack? It's been a really long time since I've seen him." I asked.
"He started talking to a fan, and I haven't seen him since." Rian said.
"Okay thanks. And hey, get some rest will ya? You look exhausted man.." I said and rubbed his peach-fuzzy head.
Rian said goodnight and closed the bus door, deciding not to go to the hotel.
I turned around and headed back inside. It was time to go find Zack.
I checked in the dressing rooms and backstage. I checked by the merch and down the hallway to the bathrooms. Then, finally, I say a lock of blonde hair shimmer in the lights in one of one of the partially opened practice rooms and murmurs coming from inside. That wasn't Zack's hair, but hadn't he been with a fan before he disappeared? Even if it wasnt him, whoever it was shouldnt have been there anyways. I cautiously walked towards the door.
"...Hey don't worry about it. You're fine baby, you're gonna be just fine." Zack's voice echoed in the empty room.
A fake honey-sweet voice responded, "I'm so glad I met you. I was so...scared..." she trailed off leaving silence and the sound of rustling filled the empty space. I suddenly felt scared. Scared i might not see something i wanted to. Scared because it might not be Zack. Scared because i didn't know the consequences if I opened the door. Despite my fear, I opened the door. And I wished I never had, because I saw something I should not have seen. Zack and this blondie were kissing. I felt myself sink. My heart felt heavy and my eyes started stinging. Everything moved in slow motion now as Zack tore himself away from her and stood up, looking at me with wide, pleading eyes. I had no words. My mouth opened as if to let out a noise of discomfort or disbelief, but nothing came out. My words were caught in my throat.
"I-" he started to explain himself, but I didn't stay to hear what he had to say. I turned and ran. I ran past the bus and out of the parking lot. I ran along the deserted highway, tears falling from my eyes. Feeling hurt and betrayed and mad. Mad at myself for believing that a guy like Zack would be into a kid like me. Mad at him for proving the world right. Mad because he ended up being just like every guy i had ever liked. I just wanted to go home now, but I knew it would be foolish. It wouldn't do any good, so I determined to stay here. With the band and the crew. They were my home now, I had nothing to go back to. I just felt so wronged, I wasn't sure how I could face them again.
I stopped at the nearest gas station, huffing and puffing. I wasnt ever much of a runner.... After a few minutes of trying to catch my breath, i walked inside and pulled a five from the pocket of my orange Bullhead's and bought a Reese's and a Dr. Pepper. Chocolate for the heartache, caffeine for the headache. Mom always said it did wonders.
I sat outside the gas station for 20 minutes before I was calm enough to take my cellphone of my pocket and call someone. Who I would call, I wasn't entirely sure, but I didn't even pass the A's in my contacts before I hit the call button, put the phone to my ear and heard the voice at the end of the line.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hey will you come get me please?" I sobbed into the microphone.
"I'll be right there, stay where you are." he said. The line clicked and I was left on my own in the abandoned parking lot of a gas station.
Sweaty, sobbing and sorry.