Sealed With a Kiss

The sand in my toes felt warm and soothing but the grittiness is never a factor I can count out. The feeling reminds me of the state I’m in right now. It’s bittersweet, really. I watched the waves crash in front of me as the sun turned the sky into magical colors. The colors ranged from orange to pink in a beautiful array. But as soon as my eyes caught sight of Brian walking down the shoreline with my friend, Annabelle, the happiness sort of just drifted with the wind.

Brian always told me he had a secret crush on her and it hurts me to hear him talk about her because that’s how I want him to see me. But whenever I try to think about him and I being together, I tend to just laugh at myself because I know it’s never gonna happen. My insecurities will make sure of it.

Annabelle, however, doesn’t exactly like him that way. She’s over-the-top, head-over-heels in love with Ian. I always try to get them together and she tries to get Brian and me together but it never seems to work. The timing never really catches on and it’s irritating because Ian and Annabelle are perfect for each other. Sometimes, I don’t even understand what’s holding him back. It’s not like a wall’s barraging them to keep them apart.

Just as I was about to get up, Ian took the spot right beside me on the sand. He seemed just as mesmerized about the sun as I was before my attention was diverted.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Ian started, “You know, what the sun can do? It’s a wonder for sure.”

I wasn’t even sure if he was waiting for my opinion. He seemed too caught up in the setting sun. I wouldn’t blame him. I would be too if I stared at it for too long. So, I got up and dusted off my jean shorts. He stared right up at me, looking confused.

“Where’re you going? The sun hasn’t even set yet,” he asked, getting up as well.

“Uh, I, uh,” I couldn’t even think of some kind of alibi to cover myself from having to tell the truth. Ian, being all observant and all, caught on to what I was being so awkward about. He always seemed to read me very well. That was one thing I really liked about him but I would never ever go behind Annabelle’s back. I could never.

“You really like him, don’t you?” I didn’t know if there really was a hint of disappointment in his voice or if I somehow imagined it but he was definitely covering some kind of expression on his face.

I smiled sheepishly at Ian as I watched their hands brush against one another as they walked down the beach. I bet I’m gonna hear about that from Brian later when we get back in the beach house.

“Hey, don’t be sad about it,” Ian said, reaching out and touching right below my shoulder. He squeezed me once before sliding his hand down to mine. He dragged me to a certain direction as I wondered if this really was happening right now. “Let’s go build Lego.”

I shook my head at Ian but he wasn’t able to see it. His grip was strong so even if I tried to pull back, I wouldn’t be able to get away. We both sat on the living room floor. His Lego was already all over the table. Today, we were building R2-D2.

“You do know that if you made me do this, I won’t stop working until it’s done, right?” I asked him as I started to form R2’s base.

“Yeah, that’s sorta why I like you,” he muttered. I tried to pretend I didn’t hear it but I knew that he knew that I heard what he’d said. I just didn’t want to be so quick to react.

I was sitting on the opposite side of the coffee table. He tried to steal glances at me and I caught them every time. I didn’t want to know what he was thinking because I didn’t want to have to think about all of this. I liked Brian and that’s that. That’s always been the plan ever since Annabelle and I met Ian and Brian at their workshop. We didn’t actually know that it’d turn out like this but we’re only glad that it did. So now here we were at Annabelle’s beach house in Malibu, away from the city for a short vacation.

I was just trying to find a certain part for R2’s feet when Ian’s hand met with mine.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” I said awkwardly, not bothering to stare up at him but apparently, it wasn’t an accident. He held onto my hand and stopped it from searching. This made me look up at him in wonder. “You okay?”

“Look, we need to talk.” Ian seemed really serious that it was actually pretty scary. He was right about to tell me something when Annabelle and Brian came back in.

Once Annabelle’s eyes dropped to our hands on the table, I snatched my hand away from his grasp. She cocked an eyebrow at me but I shook my head. I bit my lip as I got up. “Excuse me,” I told Ian before heading over to my best friend.

“Go talk to him,” I told her, nudging her out of her place.

I looked back at Ian and he stared right back at me. He seemed desperate. I looked away and walked towards the kitchen where Brian was. I didn’t actually plan on talking to him since I knew that he was all hyped about their ‘walk’. I just wanted to get a bottle of water and I wanted to rush outside to get some fresh air. There was so much tension in this house – too much, actually.

“Hey, you know what—”

“Um, Bri, I’m not in the mood to talk right now,” I said, grabbing the water bottle I wanted from the refrigerator. I started to walk away but he didn’t let me get too far. He held me back by pulling on my forearm.

“What’s wrong? Did Ian do something?” he asked, worriedly.

“It’s not him.” That was all I said before I detached his hold on me. He looked a lot worried but I didn’t care. He was never ever going to see me the way I wanted him to so maybe it’s about time I let these feelings go.

I moved out of the kitchen and went back out to feel the sand in my toes once more. With the bottle in my hand, I walked down the beach and took a spot in the sand. I grabbed a bunch of it and sifted it through my fingers. I was so bummed out that I couldn’t even think straight. I didn’t know what more to do with my life than waste it on hopeless endeavors. I looked up at the clear sky and watched a flock of birds come and go. I envied them for being so free and for being a group. I mean I know I had people around me who cared but at this point, I couldn’t help but feel so alone with my feelings. I didn’t have anyone to turn to because they simply didn’t have time for me.

I looked back down at the sand and set my water bottle aside. I played with the sand as I watched the waves crash on the shore. The sounds calmed me a little as I tried to clear my head but apparently the world hated me because it wouldn’t leave me alone.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Ian once more. He took a spot beside me and sighed. That definitely caught my attention.

“I know what you’re trying to do but it’s not gonna work,” he told me.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t like Annabelle the way I like you, okay? So would you just cut the crap and be with me already?” He seemed annoyed.

“Well isn’t that sweet,” I said sarcastically. The way he phrased his sentence seemed sort of mean to me but as I thought about his situation, I realized that even I would’ve said something like that if I were in his shoes.

“I’m serious,” he grabbed my hand, “I don’t know how you do it but there’s always something about you that catches my attention. From the smallest things like when I look into your eyes and when you smile, it’s all so captivating that it overwhelms me to the point where I realize I’m not even breathing anymore. I don’t know what you do to me but I can’t help but feel this way about you. Why can’t you see that?” He squeezed my hand tighter and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.

I stared at him in shock. His brown eyes held mine as I tried to process everything he’d said. “Ian, I—”

“You don’t even have to think about it. All you need to say is yes, you’ll be my girlfriend/co-Lego-builder/best friend/everything.”

I laughed at his sentiment and looked away but he didn’t let me turn away fully. His free hand held my chin and turned it so I was facing him again and his thumb landed on my lips. The butterflies trapped in a cage in my stomach burst out and started to flutter all over my body as I reacted to his touch. But before I could pull away, he planted a kiss on my lips and made time stop.

Nothing could ever top the way I was feeling right now. He sealed my lips with a kiss I’ll never forget.